


Certainty

by Pop_Culture_Salad



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Zombies, F/M, Falling In Love, Friendship/Love, Moving up to grownup love, Slow Build, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-25
Updated: 2015-10-04
Packaged: 2018-02-22 14:36:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 27
Words: 81,837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2511257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pop_Culture_Salad/pseuds/Pop_Culture_Salad
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Beth Greene is a shy librarian working at a college where she spends part of her lunch hour fantasizing about the handsome man sitting across from her. A chance encounter, as well as a tragedy, bring Beth and Daryl together, and a strong bond is formed. This is a slow burn, good ole' fashioned love story. Mild M</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. How Can I Help You

It wasn't a secret location, quite the opposite actually. The small outdoor arena hadn't been fully utilized in years, decades probably. Ever since the drama department invested an ungodly amount of money for their new venue in the mid-1990s, this charming little grassed venue became forgotten. It still had its uses, notably for the department's annual Shakespeare Under the Stars productions and, of course, for local wedding and prom photographers. Currently the venue's most popular use was as a staff and student lounge area during lunch.

It was perfect really. Away from the parking lots, streets, and high populated areas, it gave the allusion of being its own small valley. The high walls that once served as barriers between the actors and the audience provided shelter from the cold winds in the fall, whereas the huge oak trees that lined the outside edges provided a cool reprieve during spring and early summer. Beth absolutely loved being out there during her break, and often wondered why more people didn't take advantage of this location. Even still, she was happy to know it was her own secret world.

Well, okay, maybe not hers alone. Over the course of the ten years working at the college, Beth did find she had to share her space with other like minded souls. There were the regulars; Professor Lincoln who sat towards the front, facing stage left. Professor Riggs who sat on the opposite side (stage right). Towards the middle of the grassy field sat Mr. Cohan, head of the HR department, and Mrs. Holden, resident IT expert, sat upper middle left. Then there were the handful of students, the only real ever-changing people who ate there. For whatever reason, the students tended to sit towards the top of the small arena. Different faces, different semesters, same look of contentment and confusion. A few people came and went, but overall, that was the community that shared the arena during lunch. Beth loved it. There was comfort in the certainty that this was their space. Beth smiled at that thought. That and the thought of Mr. Blue of course.

So, that actually wasn't his name. Beth didn't know it or anything for that matter about her lunch crush. The first time she saw Mr. Blue, walking down the stage to what would become his regular spot under a large oak tree, Beth had been listening to the old country song "Blue" on her player, and the moniker just stuck. She knew he probably worked on the campus but short of walking up and asking him, all she could do was speculate. Although the college was fairly small when compared to others, most departments kept to themselves. The only reason she knew any of the names of the people in her lunch group was because she had met them in the circulation department at the library where she worked.

Mr. Blue was attractive. Very, very, attractive. He was a combination of Paul Bunion and the Brawny Man. Those were really the only descriptors she could generate considering she never got close enough to get a proper look. It appeared he had brown, shaggy hair, coming down below his ears. Mr. Blue typically wore dark jeans or khakis with a blazer, making Beth think he was likely an educator or other school personnel. There wasn't usually a whole lot of socializing in the group, so Beth figured it would be rude to break with the norm to interrupt him during lunch.

That wasn't the only thing that made her keep her distance however. Beth figured that the woman Mr. Blue always ate lunch with would probably not appreciate her walking up to him.

Mr. Blue always arrived to lunch first, and only then did Beth feel it would be okay to stare and admire him. As soon as Mrs. Blue arrived, Beth made herself stop. Sometimes though she couldn't help herself. The couple seemed so comfortable and happy together, that Beth had to sneak a few peeks. Mr. Blue would gently pull on her shirt when it appeared she had said something funny. Mrs. Blue would playfully slap his knee when it seemed he said something inappropriate. Their interactions were so comfortable and familiar to each other, that Beth found herself sighing as she watched. As much as Beth enjoyed admiring Mr. Blue's looks, she found herself admiring their relationship more.

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

Things at the Georgian college library where Beth worked were often dull and monotonous, yet she didn't mind. Beth had always been an avid book lover, so having access to every book imaginable through databases and private collections was a match made in heaven. These days Beth had little time to play around, especially during the fall semester, arguably their busiest time. As one of the campuses few librarians, Beth was tasked with taking orders from professors for course materials, and making sure the book store was stocked.

She was also a book healer, as her sister so lovingly called her, being the only librarian on campus who could successfully bind and restore almost any old book. During her ten years working at the library she had also developed a knack for locating out-of-print, rare, and first editions, a skill that elated both her father and brother-in-law. These skills made Beth a minor celebrity in their community which only served to make her chuckle, considering there were only seven in her department.

Beth was currently trying to locate an out-of-print for the Biology department when her supervisor Patricia walked by. "Orders in, Beth. Up front" the old woman didn't even bother stopping as she passed, but Beth understood the drill. She sighed loudly as she stood up and made her way to the front.

Typically, orders for books were submitted through the library website, so the fact that someone had physically showed up at the front desk meant that whoever it was had waited until the last minute and was desperate. She never understood why people assumed that meeting face to face meant a speedier delivery. Already frustrated, she made sure to take her time, knowing that whoever was waiting for her was probably in a panic, and therefore be extremely unpleasant with her. As she stepped out of the back hallway into the reception area she let out a quiet gasp and felt herself go red. Mrs. Blue stood across the counter, reading one of the library pamphlets, tapping her pen on the desk. Well this is awkward she thought, knowing there was absolutely no reason for her to feel that way.

"Hi, you wanted to see me?" Beth smiled as wide as she could. Kill her with kindness Greene, kill her with kindness.

The woman frowned and tilted her head "I'm sorry?" Mrs. Blue looked confused.

Beth sighed again. She was ready to dislike this woman. Whatever Beth, you already don't like her. All those times Beth had observed the pair during lunch came quickly to her mind. Jealousy was her least favorite trait, but dammit if she couldn't stop herself from feeling it this moment.

"You had a book order you wanted to place?" Beth wasn't looking at the woman, choosing to focus on the pen the woman wouldn't stop tapping instead. At least she isn't wearing a ring. Beth took in that minor victory.

"Oh, yes! Sorry, I didn't realize that was you. I guess I assume everyone who works here is my age or older." Beth glanced up at her and noticed the gentle manner in which Mrs. Blue smiled at her. The tapping sounds drew their attention back to Mrs. Blue's hands, and the older woman suddenly becoming aware of her actions "I can't ever seem to stop myself from doing this, very rude behavior on my part, I do apologize" she laughed as she put the pen back into its holder.

Damn it Bethy, I think she's alright. Beth reached out to move the pen holder away and accidentally knocked it over. It was Beth's turn to laugh "I can't ever seem to stop myself from doing something embarrassing. Must be why they keep us in the back."

Mrs. Blue laughed "Well lucky for you, all my blunders usually happen in front of my students, and they can be very unforgiving." Both women giggled "Yes, I can see that. Students are the worst!" Beth smiled at the woman, having already forgotten her initial disdain.

"Well then," Beth straightened, going into librarian-mode "how can I help you Professor…"

"Carol, just call me Carol" she smiled that warm smile again that Beth couldn't help but reciprocate.

"Carol, nice to meet you. I'm Beth, what can I do for you?"

Carol picked up the pen again, seemingly without realizing it and took a deep breath. "I teach Child Development over at the psychology department. I'm embarrassed to say that I placed an order for what I realize now was the wrong edition of one of my books, and now I'm a little panicked that my students will never know the story of Aspergers and how it ceased to exist as a developmental disorder."

Beth feigned a gasp "Oh my, well we can't have that" she shook her head as though she knew exactly what Carol was talking about. Beth slowly began to walk towards her office "Don't you worry, you're in good hands now" she waved Carol to follow her to her desk. "Lucky for you this type of thing happens all the time, and I'm a bit of a pro. I'll just need you to submit a new order form along with your class information. Also, if you have the UPC number of the textbook you accidentally ordered, I can quickly put a stop on that one and rush the next order" Beth knew she was babbling at this point, and that Carol was probably as confused as she was a bit ago, but she couldn't help it. Once an order came in, Beth got into her zone and was ready to go.

"Just have a seat here while I look up the order history, and we can get you what you need." Carol had a seat in front of the desk as Beth quickly opened her database and got to work. "This happens all the time Carol, so no need to worry" she watched the older woman absentmindedly reach for one of the pens on her desk and resume her tapping. "Just because it happens all the time, doesn't mean I don't appreciate all you're doing" Beth smiled at Carol, and got to work. Yep, this woman is good people.

"Are these your children?" Carol had picked up one of the picture frames that sat on Beth's desk.

"If they were, they'd be a lot more spoiled and dressed a heck-of-a lot better" Beth laughed as she picked up another frame. "They're my nephews, Charlie and Michael. I love those two more than all the stars and moons." she smiled as she put the picture down. "How about you, do you have any children?"

Carol's smile faded just a bit, sadness pooling in her eyes "I did. A daughter. Her name was Sophia." Carol gently placed the picture back on the desk. Beth stared at the woman, feeling a knot forming in her throat. Beth slowly leaned forward towards Carol, as though about to tell her a secret.

"I bet you spoiled her rotten, didn't you?" she whispered.

Carol let out a laugh. A laugh so loud, that it echoed through Beth's small office. "Oh yes. Sophia had me wrapped around her finger, and God Bless her, she knew it." Beth laughed and continued her work on the computer, glad the sad moment had passed.

"Okay, almost done here. If you could just fill out this form and turn it back in as soon as you can, we'll go ahead and process the order." Back in librarian-mode, Beth gave Carol the form she had just printed. "The publishing company is one that our school works with a lot, so I know all the people who can help get this done quick. You should have what you need the week before school starts."

"Thank you so much Beth, you are a life saver, truly"

"Well we can't let those students down can we?" Both women stood up and Beth led her out to the front lobby.

"One last thing, before I take off," Carol turned to face Beth once they were out. "Do you know who I can talk to about binding an old textbook of mine? It's not for class, it's more personal really, but this book means a lot. My father gave it to me as a child and I hate that the cover and bindings are wearing so thin."

"That would actually be me" Beth tucked her blonde hair behind her ear, a tick she'd had all her life when she got nervous. She wasn't use to so much face-to-face interaction, limiting most of her conversations to emails or phone calls.

"Well, you're the jack of all trades now aren't you?" Carol winked.

Beth giggled. "Only here." Everywhere else I'm a hot mess.

Beth sighed as she worked out the logistics in her head. "We're packed heavy right now with orders, so all book restorations have been placed on hold" Beth paused as she looked around, making sure none of her coworkers were around to hear the next part. "But if you bring me your book, I'm sure I can get it all fixed up for you." Beth continued in a hushed tone "It might take a few weeks, maybe even a month since I'll have to work on it between other projects, but it'll get done."

Carol looked stunned "Oh Beth, dear, don't you trouble yourself for that, it really isn't urgent-"

Beth waved her off before she could finish. "Oh you stop that! If I can find time to bind all of my brother-in-law's manga after my nephew ripped the covers off, I can certainly do the same for yours."

"Beth, thank you!" Carol placed her hand on Beth's, emphasizing how grateful she was.

Beth smiled. "Of course. Us lunch buddies got to stick together right?"

Carol frowned, apparently confused. "Lunch buddies?"

"Oh, yeah, sorry, um…" Beth's face turned red. In her mind, Carol and Mr. Blue were so much a part of her daily routine that she just assumed it was a part of theirs.

"I, uh, I have lunch at the old theater. I've seen you and Bl-" Beth felt sweat bead up on her forehead "uh, your beau, eating there from time to time." Carol had stopped tapping the pen she had somehow ended up with again and stared at her. Must be why they keep us in the back Beth reminded herself.

Carol smiled, picking up on Beth's embarrassment, but kind enough to not bring it up. "Isn't that the best place for lunch? I can't imagine why it isn't more popular."

Beth smiled, feeling her face return to its natural shade and let out a grateful sigh

"I agree."


	2. I'll  Make it Pretty Again

11:38, surely Patricia wouldn't mind if I snuck out early?

Beth continued to stare at the clock. She'd been nervous about heading out to lunch that day, maybe even a little excited if she really thought about it. It would be the first lunch she'd had at the arena since her interactions with Carol, and Beth didn't know what to expect. It was the first time in years where Beth would not know how her lunch hour would go.

Typically, she was a study of consistency, knowing without a doubt what lay in front of her on any given day. The certainty of just knowing wasn't there this day, and to Beth's disappointment, she found herself missing it.

Oh gosh, that's just depressing. Am I really this boring? Beth suddenly had an image of Maggie laughing her ass off at that question. Yes, Beth really was that boring, so maybe it was time to change things up a bit.

Beth stood and walked towards the staff lounge room to retrieve her lunch. Today was the perfect day to start breaking the rules she decided.

She found her supervisor sitting in the large table in the middle of the staff room looking over the school's catalog, updating all the changes that had taken place over the weeks leading up to the new semester.

"Patricia, I'm taking off for lunch now" She knew Patricia would object. If Beth was a creature of habit, then Patricia would be its creator. Beth took her lunch bag out from the refrigerator and headed towards the door.

"But it's twenty to 12?" the older woman looked up at Beth as if taking an early lunch was the strangest thing Beth had ever done. To her credit, it probably was.

"Yeah, but I'm actually pretty ahead of schedule, so I figured the extra twenty minutes wouldn't hurt" Beth smiled at the woman as she passed her by. Baby steps Greene, baby steps

"Okay, see you at 1" Patricia barely finished the sentence before she went back to work.

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

Beth Greene, total bad ass. Beth laughed at her private joke as she made her way out to the grassy field.

Beth rubbed her hands together, mentally scolding herself for forgetting to pack her gloves. Being a rebel, comes with a cost. Although September had barely arrived, the days were already getting chillier by the hour. It seemed as if every year Beth forgot about the upcoming winter months, and would forget to pack accordingly before leaving her small apartment.

Who you kidding, you've been so preoccupied with Blue recently that you just aren't thinking right! Beth shook her head and reached for another cracker. Maybe she had been obsessing over Carol and Blue over the past 24 hours, but she couldn't help herself. She'd been nursing a crush on Blue for a long while now, and after her interactions with Carol, Beth's crush, albeit an innocent one, had only seemed to grow. At this point, she was no better than she was at 15 when she was in love with Leonardo DiCaprio. Beth sighed as she finished her sandwich. She might as well covet Leo too since she had as much of a chance with him as she does with Blue. Now that she met Carol she felt slightly ashamed for her feelings, knowing that it was wrong to covet after another woman's man, especially when that woman was a really nice person.

Beth took a sip out of her travel cup, enjoying the taste of apple juice as it hit her tongue. She closed her eyes and remembered that look in Carol's clear eyes when she mentioned her daughter, and how the sadness never really went away after. Beth knew about loss. She had lost her mother years ago. She never thought she'd be able to feel anything but agony or despair. The thought of feeling anything besides that was foreign to her at that time, and she wondered if Carol had felt the same.

Of course she did, Beth.

Beth couldn't imagine what the pain would be to lose a child. The thought of losing her "Chuck" or "Muck" was enough to make Beth tear up, and they were only her nephews. Beth said a small prayer for them, and for the little girl she never knew, and attempted to force those sad thoughts away by remembering happy times of her and the boys.

"Did I catch you at a bad time?" Beth opened her eyes to see Carol standing above her, smiling her smile that reached her eyes. Beth returned the smile with a short laugh.

"No, of course not. Hi Carol, fancy meeting you here." She sat up straight and patted the grass next to her "Please have a seat and make yourself at home."

Carol chuckled as she joined her, placing her book back in between her and Beth "Thank you Beth. I figured it would be rude to ignore you now, seeing as we are officially, what did you call us, lunch buddies." Carol winked at her. It was strange that such a small gesture made Beth want to hug this woman.

"It sure is getting cold isn't it?" Now it was Carol rubbing her hands, looking up as she did at the clear sky above.

"Yeah, it'll probably start snowing before we know it" Beth followed her gaze upwards. "I want to come out here and eat when it's all covered, but I'm too much of a coward when it comes to the cold. You'd think after all these years I'd be used to it."

"Have you lived here your whole life?" Carol turned to look at her.

"Yeah, born and raised." Beth looked down at her lap "I grew up on a farm a few hours away. That farm's been in our family for over a century." Beth found herself thinking about the years she spent living on that land with her family, and suddenly an overwhelming sense of homesickness enveloped her. Carol must have sensed it and placed a hand on her back.

"That sounds lovely" both women smiled and went back to looking at the sky.

"Well," Beth reached for her drink, trying to change the topic "speaking of family and very old things, you said you had a book?"

Carol nodded and turned to her bag. "Yes," she went through its contents, flipping through binders and folders that only a professor would have "my old DSM, here it is." She took out a small book and handed it to Beth. The book looked like any typical paperback, and was no thicker than one of her journals. The cover was tattered and worn, but Beth could still make out some of the title printed on the front.

"Mental Disorders?" Beth read from the mustard-yellow cover and looked to Carol with a frown "your daddy gave you a book called Mental Disorders?"

Carol laughed and nodded "yes, yes he did. And before you ask, I did read this book. I read it a lot." Carol took the book back.

"My father was a psychologist and taught at this school many years before I did. He specialized in Personality Disorders and was writing a book on it before he passed." Carol was stroking the front of the book in a manner Beth suspected she did a lot.

"In psychology, every disorder you can think of; depression, anxiety, multiple-personality," Carol waved her hand "on and on, all of them, are in this book. The full title is the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorder, and it's what psychologists use to diagnose people" Beth frowned, trying to grasp the concept of that.

"Imagine a collection of check lists" Carol attempted to clarify. She opened the book to a random page "for example, you come to me saying you're having a hard time sleeping, concentrating, and often believe you are multiple people at once?" Carol scanned the page and looked up at Beth. "I'm sorry to say, but I suspect you may have some form of neurosis, specifically the dissociative type"

Beth laughed and nodded her head "well, that does explain a lot. Thanks Carol"

Carol smiled "at least you know now." She looked lovingly at the book. "Over the years, this book has been updated a lot. The one we use today is five times thicker and a lot more politically correct than this one. This version here came out the year I was born. My father said he just knew I would grow up and follow in his footsteps, so when I graduated high school he gave me this, his old and worn copy of the DSM-2."

Beth reached for the book and looked at it again. She turned it over in her hands, gently opening the pages and examining the spine. There were a few pages that looked as though they were moments from falling out, but she knew it was salvageable. Carol began sniffling, and reached in her bag for a tissue. "I'm sorry," Carol blew her nose "its allergies, really. I'm not getting emotional over this book." She put the tissue in her pocket and continued to stare lovingly at the book.

"Well Carol, I can tell this book is strong and resilient. The spine is worn, but in overall good shape. It should be easy to bind it together" she looked at the woman in front of her and nodded. "Don't you worry, I'll make it pretty again."

Carol closed her eyes and let out a long sigh. "How wonderful."

When she opened them, she was staring across the field and began to laugh.

"Oh Daryl, he's probably wondering what I'm doing way over here." Beth knew exactly who she was talking about before following the woman's gaze. Across the way Mr. Blue was staring back at Carol, clearly confused. He tilted his head slightly and continued to stare, alternating between Carol and Beth.

Daryl? Not Thor, or Zeus, or…Blue? Beth took advantage of this moment to stare at the man.

Carol laughed as she stood up, Beth following suit.

"Poor guy doesn't understand that maybe I have a life outside of him" based on Carol's tone, Beth knew she was joking. Beth had seen enough of their interactions to assume that neither was the jealous type. Or at least, that's part of the fantasy she'd developed about Blue.

No, not Blue. Daryl. His name is Daryl.

"I should probably head back to him. I didn't tell him about you" Beth felt disappointment at Carol's words. It didn't seem fair that she already knew his name and a small part about him, yet she was still a stranger to him.

Quit with the jealousy, Greene. Daryl is not yours.

Beth turned to Carol and smiled "Well don't keep Daryl waiting. I'm sure he's curious as to why you broke with the lunch norm and came to socialize with me." Both women laughed, acknowledging that unspoken rule about the theater lunch group.

As Carol reached down to pick up her bag, Beth turned to Daryl again.

Come on Beth, you're trying to be a rebel, bad-ass now.

Beth stared at Daryl, willing him to look at her. As if he sensed it all the way across the theater, he turned and stared back. Taking that as a small victory, Beth raised her arm and waved at him. She saw him chuckle, and he waved back.

This was, by far, the best lunch break Beth had ever had.


	3. They Don't Do That

"I could use a little help here, Muck" Beth slowly made her way out of her sister's bedroom holding a stack of pillows and sheets in her hands. A blur of black hair came running towards her before it stopped a few feet away.

"Momma said we couldn't use her stuff" he cautioned as he reached for the thick, flower printed pillow case Beth handed his way.

"Momma's just lazy and doesn't want to bother with the extra laundry" she chided, leading him back to the large family room down the hall.

"Laziness has nothing to do with hating laundry" Maggie called out from the kitchen. She made her way towards her family and bent down in front of Muck.

"And thank you Michael for ignoring your poor, old, mother" she leaned in and gave him a kiss on the head before playfully swatting his behind.

"He only does it when Bethy is here." Charlie's voiced echoed from inside their pillow fort. The five year-old was determined to stay in there until he figured out how to successfully hang the string of old Christmas lights.

Maggie followed her oldest son and Beth into the living room before she saw the small pile of bedding in their arms.

"Is that MY pillow?" Maggie made sure to emphasize the word while attempting a menacing voice.

"Argh….Charlie, quick let me inside!" Michael took off running towards the entrance of the tent, sliding awkwardly across the linoleum floor on his way in. The sisters heard both boys laugh hysterically inside, somehow believing that their tent was a magical force field that kept all sound from escaping.

"Come on Maggie, remember how much fun we'd have when we use to take momma's bed sheets and make castles outta them?" Beth knelt in front of the family couches and began unfolding the sheet she had stolen from Maggie's room. She tied a corner of the sheet to the leg of the old love seat, and extended the other side towards the boy's tent. Muck quickly came out from the fort and took the end from Beth before quickly setting to work on expanding their fort.

Maggie watched them from the kitchen counter smiling as images of both girls giggling under their blankets, while their father scolded them for stealing his flash light, played in her head.

"Of course I do, Bethy. Why'd you think I haven't taken this damn thing down?" She gestured towards the tent as Beth got up and followed her sister into the kitchen.

When Beth moved out for college, Maggie realized her homesickness right away, and determined that Friday nights would be their nights. A year later, when Maggie had married her longtime boyfriend, Glenn, she was more determined to keep their nights special, so Fridays became game night. Usually Glenn would invite his buddies from the delivery company he managed to come over, while Beth and Maggie sat at the corner drinking and laughing at the men. Years later, when Maggie had Charlie, and shortly after had Michael, Friday nights simply became family night, a tradition Beth would not soon give up.

"So any new happenings at the college you're dying to share?" Maggie sat down at the kitchen table, pouring wine into two plastic superhero cups.

Beth sat across from Maggie and took the Spiderman cup she offered. "Patricia was trying to take inventory of the new science books that just arrived, when a mouse jumped outta the box and nearly gave her a heart attack." Beth could still hear the woman's screams as the poor rodent made its way across the room.

Beth would have attempted to help her if she wasn't so busy laughing. Growing up on a farm took that fear away from her.

Maggie swatted the air, clearly not interested. "I don't care about that cranky old hag!" She took a sip from her Batman cup. "Tell me about Daryl Blue. Any juicy stories?" Maggie wiggled her eyebrows, knowing all about Beth's crush.

Beth snorted as she rolled her eyes. "Of course there aren't any juicy stories, Mags."

Knowing that wasn't sufficient for Maggie, Beth looked up at the ceiling, attempting to find a story.

"I mean, Carol stops by during lunch every day now. But outside of that, there's nothing new to report."

It was nice, really, that Carol would take the time to say hello to Beth before going to join Daryl. Still, she'd never invited Beth to join them, and outside from the occasional wave or head nod, Daryl didn't seem to give any indication that he knew Beth was actually there.

"Blue is still there every day, lunching with Carol. Who, may I add, is probably the sweetest woman at that school."

"I bet she's terrible in bed." Maggie grunted, pouring herself a second cup of wine, trying to make her sister smile.

"Oh no, they don't do that." Beth looked straight into Maggie's eyes

"Daryl is not sleeping with Carol out of respect for me and my feeling for him." Beth leaned back on the kitchen chair crossing her arms. It was possible she was a little buzzed from the wine.

"I just know it." Beth said it with such finality, Maggie had to laugh.

"You just know what Bethy?" Michael was standing in the middle of the kitchen doorway, hair ruffled, with the familiar flowered pillow case tied around his back like a cape.

"Don't listen to your Aunt Bethy, Muck" Maggie got up and scooped the four year old into her arms.

"Sometimes when adults don't wanna be adults, they go into a magical place called Denial." She placed a big kiss on his cheek and put him down in front of their fort, where Charlie's head was sticking out from inside, waiting for him.

"Shh," Maggie placed her fingers on her lips as she knelt down to Chuck.

"For mommy's sake, let's make sure Bethy stays there for a little bit longer."

She turned to look at Beth who was trying to hold back a smile.

" 'Cause mommy sure loves the stories that come out of that place."

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

There were less people at the theatre the following week, a tell-tale sign that winter was fast approaching

"I've got great news, Carol!" Beth quickly got up from her seat when she saw the woman walking towards her. "Patricia's gonna be out this week, which means that for the next four days, I'll be running the show."

Librarians running WILD!

As if she read Beth's mind, Carol started laughing and slowly shook her head. "Does that mean I shouldn't expect the library to still be standing after this week?" she winked at Beth.

Beth laughed "You know it! But really, with Pat gone, I'll be able to spend more time on restorations. I feel confident that I'll be done with your book by next week."

"Well that is great news, thanks Beth! We'll need to celebrate once it's done. Oh my, excuse me…" Carol let out a series of sneezes before reaching into her bag for a tissue.

"These damn allergies. They are wearing me out. I've had the worst headache all week, ugh" she blew her nose and looked out across the field. "Daryl thinks I should stay home and rest, but I refuse to give my students the benefit of a cancelled class."

"Why's that?"

"Oh, last week they laughed when I was showing them some correlation graphs. They're a set of dots that are supposed to show the connections in experiments." Carol shrugged as she put her tissue away. "Anyway, all the students swore they saw nothing but phallic symbols up on the screen" she nodded towards the field as she reached for another tissue. "Daryl swore he saw it too when I showed him. What an ass."

Beth liked it when Carol brought up Daryl because it was a perfect excuse to stare at him. He was so use to Carol's visits with Beth by now that he hardly looked their direction anymore.

Currently, he was alternating between writing and reading something from what appeared to be a textbook.

"Is Daryl a professor as well?" Beth didn't look away from him as she spoke

"Yes, for the Science department. He's an Environmental Ecologist" Carol smiled softly as she, too, stared.

Hmm, I wonder if that mouse Patricia found was his doing.

"He teaches in the graduate department." Carol continued, wiping her nose.

"Sustainability, living off the land, that sort of thing. If it were up to him, he'd escape to the woods and never turn back."

She turned to look at Beth, who hadn't looked away from Daryl. "Honestly, I think his secret love of reality television is the only thing that keeps him here."

Beth couldn't help but laugh. A laugh so loud, it made Daryl look up from what he was doing and stare right back at her. Beth had just learned something juicy about him. Maggie would be so proud.


	4. Hope All is Well

Bad-ass Beth doing bad-ass things

Beth hummed her little tune over and over as she finished the last stitch in Carol's book.

Beth acknowledged that sneaking into the library's pressing room to restore a 46-year old book for a friend was not high in the bad-ass department. Still, it was the first time she'd ever done something like this, and it gave her a small sense of excitement.

When she'd restored Glenn's books in the past, she hadn't given them the full treatment. They all knew that sooner or later Muck or Chuck would tear through them again and Aunty Bethy would have to come to the rescue.

This book was different however. It meant something special to Carol, so it should be treated as such. Beth wanted to make sure Carol's book was as close to flawless as she could make it. Seeing as how Patricia was gone, and no one else in the department would give her a second glance, Beth figured this was as good a time as any to finish it.

Carol said we could celebrate. Two bad ass chicks celebrating…over a book.

Beth laughed as she pictured them in some loud club, music thumping, dancing with the yellow book between them.

Maybe I should suggest to Carol that she bring Daryl?

Beth let that thought linger as she stood in front of the book binder, placing the now sewn cover on the heated plate. After all, Daryl did spend a lot of time reading from his textbook, so wouldn't he want to celebrate the rebirth of an old one?

"Or I could just spend a nice time with Carol" she argued to herself as she slowly brought the level down and gently pressed the new plastic binding onto the cover. Despite herself, she couldn't stop hoping that their celebration might come to include a handsome ecologist professor.

Bad ass Beth thinking bad ass-thoughts

A few hours later Beth was staring at the perfectly restored DSM-2 in her hands. Beth was so proud of her work, she did a little cheer in her office. The sound of a stack of order- forms falling off her desk brought her back to reality and back to librarian-mode. Still, Beth was happy with the final product, and was eager to let Carol know.

After she retrieved the papers, she turned on the computer and logged on to her email. They'd never exchanged phone numbers, choosing to communicate via email instead. Beth preferred it that way anyway, considering she was always on her computer looking up one thing or another for the library. An added benefit to their email exchanges were the links she would send Beth about authors and other storytellers from across the world. Both women bonded over their shared love of literature, and Carol was a pool of knowledge when it came to that subject.

"Carol, you're favorite (diagnosed) neurotic has finished restoring your Mental Disorders book" Beth spoke out loud as she typed. "It looks better than it did in 1968, I'm sure. I'll bring it to lunch tomorrow!" With a quick click, Beth sent the message and leaned back in her chair.

Another job well done.

Beth placed her hand on the book and softly stroked the front page.

Good work Greene, good work

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

Beth didn't know what was stranger, the fact that Carol hadn't responded to her email, or that neither her nor Daryl were at the theater for lunch the following day. It wasn't the first time Beth had been left alone during lunch, but for whatever reason their absence just didn't seem right.

She put her gloved hands to her face and let out a slow breath.

Well this is just disappointing

Beth was eager to see the look on her friend's face when she gave her the book. She'd just have to wait until the next day.

When Carol didn't show up again, she started to worry.

"Hey Carol. I haven't seen or heard from you in a couple of days. I have your book, let me know if you'd like me to stop by your class and drop it off. I hope all is well."

Beth turned to look at the small stack Patricia had placed on her desk earlier that day. One of the librarians was retiring, so rather than hire a new person, Beth would be absorbing her responsibilities. Beth picked up the small manual and let out a sigh. She turned back to her computer.

"P.S. Patricia wants me to take over the responsibility of proofing the undergraduate's thesis. She says I have to learn how to format papers according to APA format. Since the 'p' stands for 'psychology' I was hoping to get your help, lunch buddy!"

Beth didn't really need Carol's help, but she hoped reaching out to her would encourage a faster response.

I hope, I hope, I hope…

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

Another week had come and gone and still no trace of either Carol or Daryl. Beth didn't know anyone from either the science or psychology department, and all of her friends had graduated years ago. She wasn't sure who she could ask to find out if her friend was okay.

Maybe they're on vacation together. Beth closed her eyes and tried to remember if Carol had ever mentioned an upcoming trip.

Hadn't Carol said it'd been years since she'd had a break?

That was probably it. Yep, Beth was certain that was the case.

This is as good time as any to take a little break. Right in the middle of the semester, around when midterms were taking place and students and professors were frantic trying to get things done before the Thanksgiving break…

Beth knew that was highly unlikely, but what else did she have to go by? She was sure she would see her Carol in a few days, probably tanned and relaxed, excited to share her adventures.

Some times when adults don't wanna be adults, they go to a magical place called denial…

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

Thursday morning Beth arrived a half hour late, having slept through her alarm clock. She was expecting Patricia to be standing at the desk staring her down as she walked in, but she hadn't.

That's odd.

One of Patricia's favorite past times was catching staff trying to sneak in.

Beth walked into her office and turned on her computer. As she waited for it to fully warm up she reached for the files in her box to review all the new orders that had arrived.

Tara walked in just as Beth let out a set of expletives "Morning sunshine," she laughed as Beth looked up at her with a scowl "Aren't you chipper this morning? I'm going to go sneak off and get the biggest coffee I can find. Wanna come?"

Beth inhaled deep, and closed her eyes.

Yes, I really do

"I can't, I just walked in, and Patricia would be so teed if I left right now." Beth shook her computer mouse, hoping the movement would speed up the monitor. The department really needed an upgrade.

"Patricia's been in with the Dean and some other people all morning, I doubt she'll notice if you're gone."

Beth pondered that for a second. "Well, that explains why I was denied my morning treat of Patricia Eyes."

Tara grinned and gestured for Beth to follow her.

"Nah, I'm good, thanks Tara. I should probably get a jump on things."

"Okay, baby-girl. I'll come bug ya later." Tara walked out as Beth laughed.

Both women liked to joke about their age differences when compared to the other librarians. Beth was "baby-girl" because she was 28, whereas Tara was "old-fogie" because she was 31. The next oldest would be Olga, 56.

Beth took out her cell phone and realized she had missed a call from her father. Silly man, he knew Beth barely looked at her phone first thing in the morning.

She made a mental note to call him back during lunch as she opened her email.

Beth stretched her arms above her head and let out a large sigh. How can you be tired, you literally just woke up. Beth glimpsed at her computer screen, and felt the blood drain from her body.

From an outsider's perspective, Beth's inbox wouldn't look suspect at the least. The fact that the Dean of the university had sent out an email from his personal account wouldn't raise an eyebrow. But Beth knew that wasn't the norm.

The other detail was the simplicity of the heading. Nothing special or unique, it simply read "Professor Carol Peletier."

Beth stared at the screen for a moment, not wanting to open the email just yet. She felt a large knot form in her throat, and felt tears pooling in her eyes.

Oh Lord, please. Please, no

Beth pushed her chair back and turned away from the screen. She reached behind her to pick up a picture of her nephews; the same one Carol had admired a couple of months back. She closed her eyes, and made herself turn back to the screen. With shaking hands, she reached for the mouse, clicked on the email, and read the Dean's message.

Less than an hour later, Beth was walking towards Maggie's front porch. She hadn't had the chance to knock when Glenn opened the door, rushing to get to work.

Glenn stopped immediately as he processed what was in front of him. Within seconds he was calling for Maggie.

"She's gone" Beth sobbed as her sister came out.

Putting her own hands to her face, Beth continued.

"Carol's gone. She passed away last night. Maggie…" her sister pulled Beth into her arms.

"Maggie, Carol's gone."


	5. I'm Gonna Miss Her So Bad

It was close to 10pm when the house finally reached the Hallelujah Zone, the term Maggie and Glenn used when the boys were finally in bed.

Glenn had opted to stay home and look after the boys while Maggie tended to Beth. It was a late night for them all, especially since the boys were overly active and emotional once they realized the state their beloved aunt was in. Beth knew they were little and weren't able to comprehend the nature of Beth's behaviors, so trying to put on a show for her and outshine each other wasn't as unwelcoming as Maggie thought it would be. Still, it was a bit of a relief when the boys finally passed out.

With Chuck and Muck finally settled, Glenn placed a kiss on his sister-in-law's cheek and excused himself, leaving the two women alone in the living room.

Both sisters sat on the couch processing that day in the still and quiet of the night. After a few minutes, Maggie began to sing.

"Sweet visions attend thy sleep, Fondest, dearest to me,

While others their revels keep, I will watch over thee"

Beth was curled up next to Maggie, knees pulled up to her chest, head on her older sister's lap. Maggie slowly stroked her hair as she continued the lullaby.

"Slumber my darling, the birds are at rest,

the wandering dews by the flowers are caressed.

Slumber my darling, I'll wrap thee up warm,

and pray that the angels will shield thee from harm."

Beth closed her eyes as Maggie sang the hymn their mother use to sing to them when they were children.

She couldn't imagine how something like this could happen to Carol. How something as common and boring as the flu could be significant enough to end her friend's life.

She squeezed her eyes tighter and tried to remember exactly what the dean's message had said.

Complications stemming from the influenza virus…hospitalization …weakened immune system…cardiac arrest.

She hiccupped into her sister's lap and continued to weep.

The message doesn't matter. Explanations don't matter. Carol is gone. That's it.

"Slumber my darling, till morn's blushing ray,

brings to the world the glad tidings of day,

fill the dark void with the dreamy delight,

slumber, thy mother, will guard thee tonight"

Beth opened her eyes and stared at the portraits Maggie had hanging on her walls. Pictures of Glenn and the boys at a park, Michael and Charlie smiling with their Grandpa Hershel at the farm, Maggie and Beth caught in an embrace, Maggie and Glenn on their honeymoon.

I wonder if Carol had family portraits in her home. Of her and Sofia during happy times maybe?

"How is this possible, Maggie? How does this happen?" she turned her head and looked up at her sister. Maggie wiped a single tear from her own face as she looked straight ahead. Carol's death had both women remembering the death of their mother, a memory that, five years later, continued to ache.

"I don't know Bethy" she whispered.

Beth slowly sat up, staring at a family portrait of the Rhees. She suddenly felt exhausted.

"Maybe Glenn can look up the answer for us." She spoke softly, a sad smile on her face.

Maggie let out a quiet chuckle. Earlier, in a feeble attempt to dull Beth's pain, Glenn thought it would be helpful to look up the number of deaths attributed to the flu per year. He was just about to quote an article from the CDC website before Maggie cleared her throat loudly. Beth was still uncontrollable at that point, so Maggie not- so-subtly told Glenn that maybe that moment was not the most appropriate time to be reading statistics.

"I swear that man" Maggie rolled her eyes and looked back to Beth "I promise you, he'll be sleeping in the garage for the next week for that."

Beth placed her head on her sister's shoulder. "Not the couch?"

"The couch is too good for him" Maggie patted Beth's leg and leaned her head onto her sisters' as well.

They sat in silence, both women lost in thought.

"I'm gonna miss her so bad" Beth's voiced cracked as the tears came flowing again, squeezing her eyes shut as Maggie's left arm curled around Beth, bringing her closer.

"Tell me some of the things you'll miss?" Maggie whispered, pressing a kiss to her hair.

Beth was quiet, images of Carol's smiling face filling her head.

"Her little quirks. Like, she was always tapping something. A pencil, her finger, her bag straps."

Unconsciously, Beth began tapping her finger on her sister's leg.

"Her laughter and how it would echo no matter where you were. The stories she would tell about her students." Beth was smiling again, lost in her memories.

"How she was so genuinely grateful for every little thing." Beth turned to her sister.

"I think that's what I'll miss the most"

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

It was strange how normal the following week was.

This irritated Beth.

Thesis requests arrived, book orders were submitted, archived documents were requested, yet no one was mentioning Carol. It just didn't seem right.

"Assholes." Beth muttered after a group of undergraduates came into the office asking about the status of their online orders. Tara raised an eyebrow.

"I'm sorry, but if those students were serious about getting their books before the deadline, they should have ordered those weeks ago."

Tara nodded in agreement giving Beth a small pat on her arm. Tara knew how much Carol had meant to her, so she let her friend vent.

"Baby-girl, I'm worried about you." Tara and Beth picked up a set of books, and made their way to the back. "You gonna be able to handle going to the memorial?"

Beth stopped in front of Tara, causing both women to drop their books.

"Memorial?"

"Yeah, didn't Pat tell you?" Tara bent down, reaching for the books

"The psych department is having a celebration of life in Professor Peletier's honor."

Beth looked at her friend and shook her head. "No, Patricia didn't mention it! When is it taking place?"

Tara shrugged "I think she said it was Friday?"

Beth gasped. She curled her hands into fists and looked up to the ceiling. "That….BITCH!"

Tara laughed. It was so rare for Beth to swear at work that she when she did, it sounded funny.

Beth quickly turned around and walked off, ignoring both her friend and the pile of books she left her with.

"Patricia pulled me aside today and made a big freaking deal about me working on Friday so that I could catch up on all these orders." Beth was fuming as she turned the corner

"She probably knew about the memorial, and wanted to make sure I didn't go. My god, that woman is such a control freak."

She got to Patricia's door and paused. She was embarrassed to admit it, but now that she was standing in front of the supervisor's office she started to panic a little. She wasn't use to standing up for herself, simply happy to let things be.

Come on Beth, grow a pair!

She took a deep breath.

For Carol

Tara peaked from around the corner, and gave her a thumbs up. Beth smiled at her friend's encouragement and looked back at the door.

"That old biddy is gonna hear from me" Beth whispered to herself.

She knocked first and opened the door immediately knowing that Patricia was currently "unavailable". It was a quarter 'til four after all. Everyone in the library knew what that meant.

Beth walked in as Patricia stretched in front of her, doing the classic upward facing dog yoga pose in the middle of her office. Beth wasn't surprised. It was, after all, Patricia's daily yoga break.

She opened her eyes and stared daggers at Beth. No one ever interrupted Patricia during yoga.

"Patricia, as you are aware, my friend Carol Peletier died last week. There's a memorial taking place in her honor on Friday, and I have every intention of going." Patricia let out a long breath and stretched herself onto her stomach.

"Everything will be caught up before then. Every book will be ordered, every draft will be completed, every stack will be finished, EVERYTHING."

Beth stared down at the woman, who looked ridiculous in whatever new position she had just put herself in.

"So just so you know, I'll be going. To the memorial. On Friday."

The return of bad ass Beth!

Patricia stretched out again, a look of boredom replacing the anger from earlier.

"Okay, dear." She gasped as she moved into a crow pose, closing her eyes in dismissal. "Make sure you close the door on your way out."

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

Friday morning Beth walked into the psychology department's conference room. The room was large and open, tables set out with drinks and finger foods. Each table was decorated with a different portrait of Carol from various moments in her life. More than a few of those portraits included pictures of her holding a beautiful little blonde.

Sophia

There were large canvases placed all throughout the room where people were invited to write down their favorite memories of Carol. Beth read a few of the entries, chuckling at the sweet stories people had shared.

She found an empty table slightly hidden in one of the corners and sat down. She stared at the brightly colored candles and flowers surrounding the room, and admired how the Christmas lights hanging across the walls gave the room a magical feel. Music was playing from somewhere, an odd collection of tunes for the room to enjoy. Beth recognized songs from Fleetwood Mac, Blondie, Run DMC, and The Civil Wars.

That's an odd combination Beth thought as she took a sip from her punch. She then remembered Carol's love of pop culture as David Bowie came on.

No, that's just right

There had to be close to a hundred people in the room, none of which Beth recognized. She was the shy librarian after all, never really setting foot outside her books.

Still, she felt comfortable in this place. All of them had something in common; they knew and cared for Carol.

Okay, I can handle this. I am handling this.

She looked down at her lap and stared at Carol's book. She didn't know why she thought to bring it. It was comforting she supposed. Beth placed her drink on the table and opened the book to a random page.

Dissociative neurosis. Characterized by a lack of sleeping, difficulty with concentration, belief in the existence of multiple personalities…

Beth stopped reading as the pages became blurry. That was the same disorder Carol had originally mentioned to Beth when she first gave her the book.

Tara was right, maybe she wasn't ready for this.

Beth got up and moved quickly towards the door. As she went through the threshold, she ran face first into what she assumed was a wall but then realized was a person.

"I'm sorry, excuse me" her voice cracked as she continued on, tears now running down her face. Beth ran out of the building, clutching Carol's book to her chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song Credit: Slumber My Darling (Stephen Foster)


	6. Just Go

It was funny to her how things just managed to continue. Winter arrived, the lion that it was, and life just…happened.

Beth worked, laughed with friends, spent time with family, went home to her apartment, went to bed, woke up, and started anew. She was determined to keep herself busy and happy; she couldn't afford to lose herself like she did before.

She was never the strongest in her family, physically or emotionally. Those traits were left to her brother and sister. Shawn, the oldest, was physically strong. Maggie, her hero, was emotionally strong. Beth was just there, coddled and spoiled rotten, the baby who lit up the sun. When their mother passed, Beth lost it. Without having the ability to cope, she fell into a catatonic state that terrified her family. Looking back, Beth realized how selfish she had been, not allowing them to properly mourn the death of their mother, instead focusing their attention on her.

She would never do that again. She would learn to be resilient and strong now that Carol was gone.

And part of that included breaking out of her routine.

She began with little steps, such as spending lunch time with Tara rather than alone. Initially, Tara had joked that Beth was only joining her because Beth couldn't handle the cold, which to be fair was partially true. She did hate going out in the snow, but she wanted to spend time with her friend more. Beth knew how fleeting those moments could be.

"Tuna salad?" Tara teased as they sat in the student cafeteria. "You're eating a tuna salad sandwich today? You're right, you are a rebel now!"

"Yes I am." Beth teased back, taking a large bite of her sandwich.

Yes, she was a rebel now, and rebels didn't eat turkey and cheese for lunch every day.

"And look," she pulled out a small baggie from her lunch bag. "I brought cookies instead of apples this time."

Tara stood up from her chair and raised her hands in defeat. "This is too much for me right now" she took a few steps back "I don't want you getting me into trouble with all this mutiny." Tara walked away from their table as Beth laughed at her friend.

Tara had been excited after Beth had told her about her plans to go out of her comfort zone. Though no one cheered her on as much as her sister had, that was for damn sure. Still, that didn't stop either of them from teasing Beth as often as they could.

As she took another bite of her sandwich, Beth scanned the busy cafeteria, getting absorbed with all the movement around her, staring at all the people as they went through their day. One of them caught her eye.

The man appeared to be looking for someone, scanning the room as well, wearing a scowl on his face.

Hmm, he's handsome

Dark curly hair, strong jawline, clean shaven, masculine features, no more than 40 maybe? She was terrible with ages. He turned his attention towards Beth and she noticed his dark eyes. She felt herself blush though it wasn't necessary, it didn't appear he was actually paying attention.

"Here ya go, baby-girl." Tara came back to the table with two ice cream cups in her hands, drawing Beth's attention away from the man. "Another week surviving Patricia's hot flashes. We've earned this." She handed one to Beth as she sat down across from her.

"Thank you, old-fogie!" Beth raised her spoon and Tara followed, clanking them together before digging in.

"What were you staring at?" Tara turned to where Beth's attention was seconds ago.

Beth gestured with her spoon "That guy over there, wearing the black t-shirt and jeans." The man was turned away from them, staring out the glass walls that surrounded the cafeteria. "He looks lost."

"He's cute" It was Tara's turn to stare at the man as she brought a spoonful of chocolate to her lips.

"You should go talk to him, ask him if he needs assistance" she turned to Beth "Maybe ask him if there's anything you can do for him?" she put the ice cream inside her mouth and smiled.

Beth shook her head at her friend and continued to eat her own

"What?" Tara asked innocently, gesturing towards the man. "I'm just sayin', it couldn't hurt. That's how me and Amy met."

Beth rolled her eyes and scoffed.

"Oh my god, you old fogie, that is so not how you and Amy met!"

Tara stared at her friend, same mischievous grin plastered on her face.

A few seconds passed and both women began to laugh. A minute later, they were wiping tears from their eyes, having gone into full blown hysterics.

Winter Madness has set in, thank goodness spring is a few weeks away.

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-  
Beth smiled as she made her way to the theater. As much as she adored spending time with Tara, she was happy to go back to her little piece of heaven. She had invited Tara to join her of course, but Tara had politely declined stating she had too much work to catch up on. This made Beth love her more. She knew that Tara was staying back intentionally out of respect for Beth. She knew that the theater was Beth's special place.

As Beth walked down the paved walkway leading to the arena, she thought about the past year and every way her life had changed.

From the outside it all looked the same. Beth still lived in her single bedroom apartment, still worked in the library, still spent Fridays with Maggie, and the last weekend of the month at the farm with her father. The changes were all subtle, but different nonetheless.

For example, Beth started paying more attention to herself, like wearing actual makeup besides her lip moisturizer. It wasn't anything too noticeable, but it was new, and that what enough for her.

Additionally, she caved and went clothes shopping with Tara and Amy, who delighted in updating her wardrobe.

"Just because you're a librarian, doesn't mean you have to dress like one." Tara's girlfriend had teased as she sent Beth into the dressing room with skinny jeans and pretty blouses.

Maggie had encouraged these changes as well, suggesting that to keep up the momentum she should try one new thing every week. It didn't have to be huge, but enough for Beth to notice. This week, she would eat in the theater while there was still snow out, something she avoided like the plague.

Beth Greene, total menace

Beth slowly made her way up the once-grassy mound leading to the arena and paused as she came within sight of her familiar space.

Yep, still here.

Beth let out a huge sigh as she sat down, closing her eyes and letting the cold air fill her lungs.

With eyes still closed she reached for the ground with her gloved hands "Heavens, how I've missed you."

She slowly opened her eyes and saw a familiar figure, roughly a hundred feet away, sitting in his usual spot under a tree.

Daryl.

Beth felt the familiar knot in her throat form, and the tears pooling in her eyes, realizing it had been a long time since she pictured him there.

Granted, she'd thought about Daryl from time to time, but it was usually after she had been thinking about Carol. Since her death, Beth had found herself more interested in psychology. One day Beth had an engaging conversation with one of the psych students after Beth had helped him with his thesis. He told Beth about a technique called "thought-stopping" which was essentially that…stopping a thought as it came and replacing it with something better. Whenever she would think of Carol (or Daryl for that matter) she would focus on something happy. Over time, she found herself relying on that technique less and less.

But there was no stopping the thoughts of Daryl right now. Not when he was right there in front of her.

Beth saw him take a drag from a cigarette. She'd never seen him do that before, and it made her sad.

He's still in mourning.

After a few minutes he stood up, stepped on the cigarette he had just thrown on the ground, picked up his bag and walked away.

Beth sat there stunned, feeling as if she had seen a ghost.

A ghost of a man, maybe

He had lost a considerable amount of weight, enough that she noticed from that distance. He looked smaller for some reason too, walking without the swagger he had previously.

He lost his friend too. He lost his Carol.

Beth looked down at her hands and took a deep breath, trying to will the tears away.

They fell anyway.

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

A full week had passed and Beth was once again in the theater, lunch by her side, unopened. It didn't matter really, she wasn't hungry. She was too nervous to be hungry these days.

But not too nervous to be absolutely freezing

She sipped from her thermos, the hot coffee burning her tongue as she waited. A few minutes later, he arrived.

Beth's new routine these last couple of weeks had been to show up at the theater every day, despite the weather, and wait for him. She had been starting to suspect he would never make another appearance until that moment when he finally showed.

Daryl slowly shuffled towards his spot, reaching into his pocket for a cigarette, before sitting down and opening his book.

She felt ashamed for doing what she was about to do, but knew she didn't have to be. She loved Carol. From how she spoke about him, she knew Carol loved Daryl.

She was doing this for her friend, not for herself.

With a small sigh, she gathered her things and stood up. The second she did so, all fear and shame left her body. She felt her shoulders go back, confident, as she made her way towards the man.

She walked slowly, giving him plenty of opportunity to see her approaching. Beth clutched her purse in her hands and felt the cold ground at her feet with every step. When she was a few feet away, Daryl looked up, and locked eyes onto hers.

Wow

He was more handsome than she could have realized from so far away. Looking back into his eyes, she realized how appropriate her name for him had been.

He tilted his head slightly, a look of confusion across his face.

So what now Greene?

Beth struggled to think of something to say, how to even begin what she was about to do.

Just go with what's in your heart, Beth.

Just go.

"Hi" she practically whispered it, not sure if he actually heard her. Daryl's eyes opened wider, as if he didn't think Beth would actually speak.

Beth sat in front of him, taking a deep breath.

"I only knew Carol for a few months before she passed" Beth brought her purse up to her chest, and pressed it against her heart. "In that short time, I came to know that I had met the most amazing, beautiful, lovely person ever" she smiled as she looked to the side of him, choosing to stare at the oak tree.

"She had the funniest stories. No one could make me laugh the way Carol could."

Beth smiled as she remembered one lunch when Beth was left in tears after Carol had told her a story about a students falling asleep in her class.

She finally looked at Daryl, who continued to stare with that sad look in his blue eyes.

"If I have a lifetime of memories from my short time with her, I can only imagine the centuries of memories you must have, and for that you are so very fortunate." She smiled at him. Daryl looked down. She thought she saw him nod but couldn't be sure.

Beth looked down and opened her purse.

"I'm sure you know that I was working on this for Carol before she…" Beth felt the tears slide down her cheek.

Dammit

She'd been doing so well up to that point.

"I was working on this before." She simply finished, as she took the yellow book out and stared at it lovingly. She looked up and held it out to Daryl.

"It meant a lot to her. I know its proper home is with you."

Daryl stared at the book and then looked at Beth. She nodded, encouraging him to take it. He put out the cigarette on a small pile of snow next to him before he reached for the small book, their fingers touching briefly. A sensation came over her, a spark she couldn't place, one that she allowed herself to feel. Daryl took the book and focused on the cover, gently stroking it in the same manner Beth had done hundreds of times before.

Knowing it was time, Beth slowly stood up and started to turn away, but stopped.

"Daryl?" He looked up at her quickly, as if he had forgotten she was there.

"When I lost my mother, I also lost a bit of myself. I didn't cope with it very well, and it nearly destroyed me." She wiped the few tears that had escaped and kept going.

"I was terrified. I mean, from one moment to the other, everything was different. I would never see my mother, I would never be whole again. Or so I thought. It was just scary knowing that things could change so quickly, ya' know?"

She knew she was babbling. The confidence and strength she felt earlier was leaving her. She pushed her hair behind her ears, though there wasn't a hair out of place.

"What helped me the most was focusing on things I knew could never change, things I could depend on. Those things tethered me to the present, and made life easier again. Like, the roosters crowing every morning, the sun rising and setting," Beth looked up to the sky "the clouds moving across the blue. Stars twinkling on a clear night."

"It's the certainty of life" she smiled looking back to him. "Find whatever that is for yourself, and you'll see you'll have a reason to smile again."

Beth shrugged, suddenly feeling self-conscious. "At least, that worked for me." She whispered.

With one last smile, she finally turned around and started making her way towards the library.

"Beth?"

Beth froze. His voice sounded strained, rough even. Beth turned as she saw his eyes staring right through her, that familiar sensation returning to her when she realized she never told him her name.

Daryl stared at her for a few seconds before looking down to the book in his hands. Faster still, he returned his gaze to her. Beth let out a breath she hadn't realized she was holding.

She smiled, understanding what he was trying to express.

"You're welcome."


	7. A Place Girls Go to Sometimes

The next day Beth found herself at that theater again leaning on the tree trunk that had been her haven for the past ten years. Although she hated the cold, Beth found herself loving the sight of the snow covering the arena, giving it an old-fashion feel. The theater was set up as stadium seating with alternating rows of cement and grass filling the entirety of the arena to accommodate an audience. Currently, the grass was replaced with dry tufts of dead ground as well as the small mounds of leftover snow covering the lifted stage area up front.

A handful of regulars were there, most of them like her, hiding from the theater during the winter months. Beth knew her regular lunch crew would return soon.

Beth put her headphones on and began humming along to the twang of the guitar playing from her phone. She looked around and felt happy.

She was well rested, having had the best sleep she'd had in months, and her whole body hummed in appreciation. She scanned the outdoor venue and saw that Daryl had arrived at his usual spot. He looked at her direction and smiled, raising a tentative hand in greeting. Beth smiled and waved back before finishing her lunch and singing along to Alison Krauss.

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

Wednesday morning she woke up after another glorious night. She realized she had even beaten her alarm clock, having woken up a whole hour earlier than usual. It didn't matter, she felt well rested. She went through her usual routine, going into her small corner kitchen and setting up her coffee pot before jumping into the shower. She turned on the news as she gathered her clothes, more so for the noise than to be informed. As she dried her hair, she remembered the straightener her sister had purchased her. She looked at the time. It was still early and had plenty of time before work.

Why the hell not? Let's go for straight hair today!

Forty five minutes later Beth was rushing to get to work. She put on a flowy black and white striped skirt and a black cardigan over a burned-yellow blouse. It was still cold out, so she put on some black tights for warmth. She was about to put on her comfy loafers before the yellow kitten-heels Amy had made her purchase caught her eye.

Why the hell not? Let's go bright heels today!

As she put on her heels, she glanced over to the mirror. She stared at her own reflection, a foreign feeling overwhelming her.

Greene, you kinda look pretty

Beth continued to stare, slightly uncomfortable by how nice she looked. Her straight hair tied in a loose side pony tail coming down mid-shoulder. The skirt, a little shorter and flashier than she was used to, but still work appropriate. Even the heels stood out in a manner that drew attention to her.

Looking at the clock again, Beth quickly applied some brown eyeliner, deciding to skip the lips and cheeks that day. She didn't need to be standing out any more than she probably would.

Baby steps Greene.

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

"Beth, you look amazing!" Tara's voice echoed throughout the library, causing more than a few people to turn her way. Beth quickly shushed her friend as she felt her face go three shades red.

"Did you straighten your hair? And, wow, are you actually wearing THE heels?"

"Oh shush Tara, you're acting like I've never dressed up before." She scolded her friend, mostly out of embarrassment.

"Sorry baby-girl. Didn't mean to make you uncomfortable" she followed Beth into her office and stood by the chair in front of her. "I'm just sayin' you look very beautiful today."

"Thanks old-fogie." Beth relaxed knowing her friend meant well "Patricia have anything exciting for us today?"

"Yep" Tara pointed to stack of order forms Beth had pretended not to see moments earlier.

"You have a lot of books to heal, my friend."

Hours later Beth was back in front of her computer, preparing order forms when Tara and Amy walked in.

"We were thinking of getting lunch off campus today, wanna come?" Tara hovered by the door as her girlfriend walked past her.

Amy went around the desk to Beth's side and grabbed both of her hands, forcing her to stand. "Let's go to AJ's. It's been forever!"

Beth looked over at the clock, knowing the place was going to be packed at that hour.

"We'll order ahead, so we won't be late coming back." Tara stated, clearly reading her mind.

Beth stared at the clock again. Greene, even when you're a rebel, you're still a wet blanket.

"No." Beth looked back and forth between her friends.

"Let's just order when we get there, who cares if we're late."

Amy and Tara looked at each other, clearly shocked at their friend's act of defiance.

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

Just as Beth suspected the place was busy and booming with life. AJ's was the town's most popular diner, having the best burgers and fries she'd ever tasted. They managed to get an open table with Tara and Amy sitting on one side, and Beth, always the single one, sitting on the other. As she picked up her menu, she noticed the subtle touches and glances the two women gave each other before sharing a menu, Amy leaning onto Tara's shoulder. Beth forced herself to look at her own menu. It was moments like those that made her feel alone.

Stop…think happy thoughts

An image of Daryl waving at her the day before quickly came to mind.

"Can I take your order?" The waitress who approached their table looked annoyed, as if asking them that question was the last thing she wanted to do.

"Uh," Beth looked at her friends who were clearly amused by the waitress' tone. "I think we still need another minute." She said politely.

The waitress rolled her eyes as she walked away.

"Someone took an extra dose of Bitch this morning." Amy stared at the woman as Tara laughed.

"Ah, be nice, Amy" Beth smiled as she put her glass of water to her lips. "I'd be angry too if I had those eyebrows."

"Holy shit baby-girl!" Tara laughed, amazed at her friends fiery response.

Beth shrugged as she looked down at her glass, secretly pleased that she had managed to shock her friends.

When the waitress returned, the girls placed their order and happily fell into conversation with one another. Minutes later when they're food arrived they realized there was no silverware.

"So, who wants to ask Eyebrows for utensils?" Amy looked at Tara and Beth.

Beth looked towards the counter and stood "I'll just go get some. I don't want to bother our waitress any more than we already have."

She walked towards the front of the diner and waited patiently for the hostess. As she did, Beth felt someone's gaze and turned to her left, only to see black t-shirt guy from before staring at her from a few feet away.

You gotta get more creative with names, Greene.

Beth sent him a closed mouth smile before turning back to the counter. She still felt his eyes on her and turned back again. He nodded to her in greeting. She turned again and smiled at the counter.

"Excuse me," Beth asked the hostess when she arrived. "Could I bother you for some silverware?" The woman nodded and turned to get the utensils while Beth's gaze went back to brown eyes.

"Hi." He said smiling as he spoke. Beth smiled again in return before turning to the woman and taking the silverware from her. "Hello," she responded as she walked back to her table feeling his eyes following her.

"You okay?" Tara asked as soon as Beth sat down.

Beth shook her head and kept it down, unrolling her napkin onto her lap. Out of her peripheral, she saw him walking up to their table, and felt her heart start pounding.

No, no, no, just keep walking by. Don't stop here.

She had no such luck. Beth saw both Tara and Amy look up as the man approached her and lean in to speak to her. Beth made eye contact with the handsome man standing a few inches away from her face.

"You have the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen." His voice was low and sultry. As much as she tried to stop herself, she actually felt herself swoon.

He winked and moved slowly back, straightening as he went.

"Shane Walsh? Your order's ready" the hostess called from across the diner.

Mr. Walsh turned and walked towards his order, but not before giving her the biggest smile she'd ever seen.

"Okay! That settles it," Amy was beaming as Beth tried to slow down her breathing. "You are straightening your hair from now on!"

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

No, she wasn't going to be straightening her hair every day Beth decided the next day, once she was back in the safety of her theater.

She probably wouldn't wear heels for a while either. It was nice getting attention from a nice looking man, but that was too much for one day. She only just started wearing lipstick for goodness sake.

Gosh Beth, you sound like Prudy McPrudison from Prudyville

She laughed as she remembered one of the many colorful terms her sister had for her throughout the years. Yes, Beth was a lot more modest than her sister (or friends even) had been, but she wasn't completely naïve. She'd had several boyfriends over the years, two serious ones that she guessed could be described as passionate. But still, something was always off. Maybe that was something she needed to work on next. Maybe she needed a heavier shove out of her shell.

She looked at the purple nail polish she was wearing. She was glad she had chosen to put the multi-colored glitter on top of the purple coat, it made her nails look shiny and fun. She had just started wearing nail polish too. Beth stretched her hands out in front of her. She liked how the glitter sparkled out there in the sun, and how the colors complimented the-

"Am I, um, interrupting something?" Daryl's voice startled Beth, who let out a short cry as she jumped in her seat, quickly putting her hands on her lap.

Must be why they keep us in the back.

Beth looked up and saw him standing over her, a small grin on his face, clearly amused by her reaction.

"Ah, no, um, not interrupting, ha ha…" Beth tried to come up with something clever or witty to say. The man who had occupied so many of her thoughts had magically appeared in front of her, but she had been too busy admiring her nails to notice.

"You just happened upon me in La- La Land." Beth was sure her face would be burning read forever.

He chuckled slightly before he gestured to the ground besides her. "Mind if I sit down?"

Beth shook her head, "no, not at all please, sit." Cool it Beth, be cool.

Daryl sat next to her and pulled out a cigarette pack from his front pocket. "Is this okay?" He gestured towards his pack.

"Yeah, that's fine." Beth smiled, still not quite over the initial shock.

He lit the cigarette as Beth forced herself to look around the theater. She saw Professor Riggs and Mrs. Holden looking in their direction. The theater lunch group never socialized so she was sure this was quite a sight for them.

"So, La-La Land, huh?" he smiled at her, voice gruff and masculine as he took his first drag.

"Yeah," Beth dared to look at him and chuckled. "It's a place girls go to sometimes. It's okay if you've never heard of it." She smiled, feeling immediately comfortable next to him.

He glanced sideways at her before taking another drag.

"Okay." He nodded as he looked in the direction of his usual spot, apparently contemplating what she had said.

The snow was mostly all gone at that point. The sun warm and bright and the sound of birds singing around them indicating that spring had pretty much arrived.

"I like it here." She wasn't sure if Daryl was speaking to her so she didn't respond, only nodding in agreement.

He turned to her and looked at her hands, still properly placed on her lap. "I like your nails." He smiled before taking another drag and looking out across the theater again.

Beth giggled before following his gaze. They sat quietly together for the rest of the lunch hour.

Beth was still adamant that she'd avoid the straightener and heels for the time being.

But she'll still do her nails.

That she'll keep.


	8. This Isn't About You

The following two days Daryl came to sit next to her, both times asking permission before doing so. Beth was tempted to tell him he didn't need to ask, but figured he was asking more so for his sake than hers, so she stayed quiet.

Thursday he sat and smoked his cigarette, staring out across the theater, whispering every now and then to himself. Beth thought it sweet that he felt comfortable enough to let his mind wander in front of her, being at peace in the silence.

She enjoyed the feel of him inches away. If she wanted to, she could reach out and touch him. Something about that gave her goose bumps.

Friday afternoon he brought a book that he quickly opened as he sat, turning the pages as he inhaled from his cigarette. It worked out perfectly; Beth had brought one of her books as well. What an adorable pair we make. As he settled down, Beth did a double take as she saw the cover in his hands.

Is that a rubber ducky?

She glanced up to him, brows furrowed in confusion, but he was too engrossed with the pages to notice. She looked at the cover again before sighing and returning to hers. From the corner of her eye, she noticed both her and Daryl turned the page of their respective book at the same time. She chuckled quietly and he turned to her.

He cocked an eyebrow as she smiled awkwardly.

"Oh, it's nothing" she answered his unasked question, turning back to her book.

After lunch was over, he did the same thing; collect his belongings, put out his cigarette in his water bottle (the only thing he'd bring with him to lunch), and stand up quietly, staring up ahead for a minute before looking at her.

"See ya, Beth" he'd smile at her as he'd walk away.

Beth never thought she'd look forward to the moments when Daryl would leave her. That came to be her favorite part of the day.

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

"Aw, Bethy, that is the most depressing thing I've ever heard."

Yup, Beth could always count on her sister to give her perspective on things.

"What? I'm just sayin' I really like how he always says 'see ya next time.' That means he's planning on seeing me. You know… next time."

Beth realized just then, saying it out loud, how silly that sounded. Still, she wasn't going to give her sister the satisfaction of being right.

It was a bright day that Saturday afternoon. Maggie and Beth were outside in the Rhee's garage standing by as Glenn worked on the family car.

"Yeah, I get that it sounds sweet, but until you have a serious conversation, I wouldn't read too much into those words" Maggie looked down to her husband "What do you think, Glenn?"

"I agree, honey. Whatever you say" he responded from under the car.

Beth rolled her eyes. That had been Glenn's response to all of Maggie's comments that day.

Maggie smiled at her sister as she raised her ice tea in celebration. The sound of the boys kicking their soccer ball in the front lawn drew their attention away for a second. Charlie, the more athletic of the two, kicked the ball with ease between his feet, while Michael tripped twice as he tried to catch up to his older brother.

"Whew, this one's a beast." Glenn rolled out from under the car and quickly stood up.

"Your turn" he handed the socket wrench to Maggie as he gave her a quick peck on the lips.

Maggie grabbed the wrench from his hands and took Glenn's spot from under the car.

"What do you really think Glenn? I'd like to hear a man's perspective."

Beth looked at her brother-in-law, curious for his opinion. He never pulled any punches, always telling her what she needed to hear.

He took a long gulp from his beer as he stared at Maggie.

"I don't know what to tell you Beth." He turned to her, shrugging his shoulders.

"How about you tell me that he must like me, 'cause otherwise he wouldn't come sit with me?"

Glenn just nodded, turning his gaze to the direction of his wife.

"Possibly." He took another sip from his can.

"Glenn, pass me the thingy" Maggie called out from under the car. Glenn turned and grabbed a lug-wrench from his tool box.

"It could also be that he's just lonely" he continued as he reached down and handed the tool to Maggie. He stayed crouched beside the car before looking up at Beth. "Just…don't be surprised if he stops showing up. He's just sitting with you for now. That's all."

From under the car, Maggie's arm came out and pinched Glenn in the arm. Hard.

Beth stared at him, determined to believe what she wanted to believe. "No, I think it means something."

He sighed, absentmindedly rubbing his arm.

"I agree, Beth. Whatever you say."

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

Sunday morning Beth woke up after finally having slept a couple of hours. That particular night was a rough one and she thought she'd never fall asleep. She turned over on her bed and stared at the ceiling.

She didn't have any plans that day. No meeting up with friends, no day trips to be taken, no shopping to be had. Tara and Amy had gone out of town to celebrate their anniversary that weekend so she couldn't call them. Sundays were set aside for Maggie and her boys, and Beth was not going to interrupt that. She didn't want to call her daddy, he would just worry about her and beg her to come home.

Beth closed her eyes and began to cry. She didn't know why she did this. It just happened from time to time.

Am I really going to do this today?

Nope, she quickly sat up and looked at the clock. 5:47am. She wiped her tears and stared out the window. After thinking about it a bit longer, she quickly put on her tennis shoes, cropped yoga pants, and a zombie t-shirt. She was not going to spend another Sunday morning feeling sorry for herself. She grabbed a baseball cap, the one she had stolen from Glenn to be exact, and headed out the door.

She was going to go on a little adventure.

It was a cold outside, so much so that Beth considered going back into her apartment and getting her jacket.

Nope if you go back you'll be tempted to stay put.

Just keep walking, Greene.

Although she'd lived in her apartment for a while, it was rare for her to actually go out and explore. She'd been on several walks before, but always took a familiar path, the one that led her to work. This brisk morning she decided to go somewhere different.

This Sunday morning, Beth decided to turn left.

She would explore the unfamiliar.

As she turned down a road she rarely went on, she let her thoughts wander. She started thinking about how nothing had really changed in her life. How a person could pick two random days from her life and find that they were very similar, despite what time period they were chosen from.

Stop the thought…think happy thoughts

Chuck and Muck.

The thought of her two nephews always made Beth smile. She really did have the best family in the world. Her nephews were the light in her life. Still, Maggie had already had Muck when she was Beth's age, and here SHE was spending her weekend alone, strolling down these empty streets...

Stop the thought.

Daryl.

The quiet, handsome man. The sad man…

Oh…no, stop THAT THOUGHT.

Beth sighed as she stopped walking, taking in her surroundings. Maybe this walk wasn't a great idea.

Beth found a bench along the sidewalk and took a seat. She had no idea how long she'd been walking, and despite the cold, felt beads of sweat forming on her forehead.

She took Glenn's baseball cap off and smiled.

She had walked exactly 2.3 miles.

She knew this because she had accidentally wound up in front of the sheriff's department. When she originally moved into this neighborhood, one of the first things her sister had done was look up how close the nearest police department was. That's how she knew…2.3 miles.

Beth let out a big sigh and looked up to the sky, trying to guess how long she'd been walking.

"Are you wonderin' how to get back?" Beth quickly looked in front of her. She saw a young man, boy actually, no more than 17, staring back at her.

She looked at him puzzled, not sure what he meant. The boy grinned something wicked, and Beth knew she was in for a treat.

"How to get back where?" she asked innocently, returning his grin.

"To heaven, 'cause you're obviously an angel trying to get back home." He blushed a little as he said it which made him look that much more adorable. Beth's smile turned into a laugh. A good, hearty laugh that felt great to let go.

"Ah, Carl, I did not just hear you say that." The woman had appeared from around the corner, holding a baby in her arms, grinning at the boy with eyes full of love and affection.

"I apologize on behalf of my step-son" she turned to Beth "It appears I still have some work to do on him."

The woman had the most beautiful, flawless, dark skin Beth had ever seen. Her short hair, bright brown eyes, and pearl white teeth made Beth think of royalty.

"Come on, Michonne" the boy looked at her, obviously embarrassed and gesturing her away.

Michonne laughed and handed him a blue bag she had been carrying with her free hand.

"Please child, like I'm the one who embarrassed you right now. Here, go take this to your father." The boy took the bag and started walking down the street towards the sheriff's department.

"And tell Rick that when I married him, it was under the assumption that he'd remember to pack his own damn lunch" she called out after him.

The boy laughed as he continued to walk

"Love you, Carl!"

"Yeah, yeah" he mumbled as he waved, not turning back.

Michonne turned to look at Beth who had not stopped smiling during their interactions.

"He pretends not to like me, but I know deep down he only slightly dislikes me." Michonne laughed as she sat down next to Beth.

"He's a teenage boy, I think that's the only way they show affection" Beth smiled, turning her attention to the baby in the woman's arms.

"This young lady is beautiful, hello there." The infant immediately leaned towards Beth, almost sliding off of Michonne's arms to get into Beth's.

"Yes, please take her, my arms are killing me." Michonne stretched. "Last time I suggest walking all the way here with a thirty pound sack of potatoes."

Beth held the baby, her chunky legs and feet hanging above her lap.

"What's your name, sweetheart?" she spoke directly to her.

"This is Candace. Cadie, actually, and she is very happy to meet you"

On cue, Cadie began bouncing up and down on Beth's lap, clearly rejoicing in the attention she was receiving.

"I love this time of year. I'm happy I can finally enjoy the outdoors with this bundle" she reached over and took Cadie from Beth, placing a big kiss on the infant's forehead.

Both women turned to the sheriff's department as two figures emerged, Carl and an older man. Michonne stood and turned to Beth

"Thanks for the company-" "Beth" she finished looking up at the woman.

"And the pleasure was all mine."

Beth looked on as the woman crossed the street and made her way towards her family. As Michonne and the man shared a brief kiss, Carl looked across and waved at Beth.

She suddenly remembered a similar moment she'd had with Daryl so many months before.

She liked that memory, especially how happy it had made her.

Beth smiled and waved back.

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

The following morning, Beth watched Daryl walk across the theater towards her. She had been inspired by watching Michonne and Rick the day before to try her "something different" today.

Its game time, Greene. Don't wuss out.

"Mind if I sit here?" he asked roughly before he sat.

"No, not at all" she shook her head and scooted over for him.

As he settled down, reaching into his front pocket for his pack of cigarettes, Beth turned to him and decided to make her move.

"You know, Daryl, you really are giving me quite the complex." He looked at her as he put the cigarette to his mouth, trying to process what she was saying.

"There you sit every day, doing your thing and not eating. Meanwhile here I am, every day, chowing down on my lunch as if it were the last meal I'll ever have."

He looked down, reaching for his lighter.

"I'm not hungry, is all" he lit the cigarette, probably realizing, like her, that this was the longest conversation they'd ever shared.

And I'm lecturing him

"I don't care if you're hungry or not, but your actions are hurting my self-esteem, so you better make it up to me." She reached for her bag, and took out the extra sandwich she packed.

"Here. It's chicken on honey wheat bread. I prepared the chicken myself, and made the bread from scratch. Now, I don't mean to brag, but this is probably the best chicken sandwich you'll ever have."

He reached out for the food slowly, careful even. He looked at the sandwich as if it was the strangest thing he'd ever received.

"This isn't about you Daryl, it's about me, and making me feel better about myself. So eat it."

Her heart was beating as if she had just completed a marathon, but she was determined to get him to eat something.

And if he so happened to fall in love with me in the process, so be it.

She watched him take his first bite. Then his second. Then his third. She stopped watching after she realized she was grinning. But it was okay, he was smiling back at her too.

"Quit with that look, girl, I'm still deciding if I like it" he told her between bites. She chuckled and took a bite of her own.

Yep, this moment is going into my happy thoughts.

"By the way" he took the last bite and looked at her. "You don't 'chow' down your food. There shouldn't be anything wrong with your complex. So stop thinking that, okay?"

Now he was lecturing her, and it was fine by her.

"Okay" she smiled, putting that thought away as well.


	9. Why You Gotta Make Me Like You

Beth took it as a personal victory the following week when she saw Daryl walk up, holding his own lunch. She also couldn't help from smiling to herself the second he sat down. She started playing with her hair, sneaking peeks, and smiling some more.

"Laugh it up, girl. Just don't go sayin' I told you so." He took out a simple sandwich that he finished in three bites. Not that she was counting.

"I would never." Beth feigned being insulted as she took bites from her salad.

Daryl pulled out an orange and began pealing the skin. "Ha. Yeah, I bet you'd never."

He licked the orange juice dripping from his fingers before pulling out his book. Beth saw the familiar bright yellow object on the cover, and figured it was as good a time as any to ask.

"Hey, Daryl?"

"Hmh?" he grunted, not turning away from his book.

"Why are you reading a book about a rubber ducky?" That got his attention. He looked at her, and then turned the book over as if trying to remember what he was reading.

"It's not about a damn rubber ducky" he continued staring at the cover.

Feeling bold, Beth reached out and took the book from him.

"Slow Death by Rubber Duck," she read out loud "The Secret Danger of Everyday Things." She scrunched her nose as she looked up at him "Why on earth would you read something like this?"

He shrugged as he reached for his cigarette. "It's for one of my undergrad classes. Trying to teach kids about the chemicals that are put in everyday objects. Stuff that will kill you over time."

Beth shrugged and handed his book back. "Sorry I asked."

"It's no joke, Beth, this modern world is filled with things that'll get you killed. Fake sugar, cleaning products, plastic bags. We're better off living in the woods."

"I believe you, but I guess I prefer ignorance." She took another bite of her lunch.

"Ignorance will kill you." He smiled, winking at her as he did so.

"Says the man smoking his second cigarette?" She responded nonchalantly, as she went to grab her own book. A split second later, she froze.

Oh dear god, did I just say that out loud?

She turned to Daryl who looked at her behind half-closed eyes.

We are not close enough yet that I can make fun of him like that. Are we?

Daryl held her gaze a bit longer and then started to laugh. A throaty laugh that made her entire body shiver. He shook his head and went right back to reading.

Maybe we are.

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

After lunch Beth was practically skipping as she walked towards the student store, clipboard in her hand, Tara hot on her heels. Tara always came with Beth to do in-store inventory. For one, she got to leave the library for a few hours. Secondly and most importantly, Amy worked across the hall at the student activities center, so it was always a treat for her to see her.

"Beth!" Amy came running out the second both women entered the lobby, apparently waiting on them from inside the building where both places were housed.

The petite blonde went around to Beth, placing both hands on her shoulders. "I've finally made the connection!" Beth turned to Tara who looked as confused as she was.

"Shane Walsh!" Amy exclaimed, as if that answered their question.

"Huh?" Beth furrowed her brow trying to make sense of her friend.

"Shane! Shane Walsh!" Amy turned to look at Tara, who was pinching her nose, apparently exasperated at her girlfriend.

"Okay, Amy, saying that over and over is not helping." Beth suddenly felt the happy feeling from earlier leave her body, being replaced by a small sense of dread.

"The guy from AJ's Cafe. The one who really liked your eyes. I knew his name sounded familiar. Turns out, he works here on campus."

"Of course he does." Beth sighed. She turned to Tara who gave her a tight mouthed smile. This town is just too damn small

"He's head of campus security. I just met him while I was over there, trying to set up for the Spring Equinox Festival when Mr. Walsh came out." She turned to look at her girlfriend "I started giggling like a school girl when I put it all together."

"Ugh, we're doing that damn festival again, it's so ridiculous" Tara, trying to redirect the conversation, began pulling Beth away towards the store.

Amy waved her off "I spoke to some of the students there. Apparently, he's single, has a dog, and seems to be a decent guy."

"Wow, Amy, it sounds like you found her prince, wait to go honey!" Tara rolled her eyes and continued trying to move Beth away.

"Beth, baby-girl" Amy practically sang as she followed them back. "I think you should take a quick stroll to campus security. You never know what you'll find there."

"Drop it." Tara whispered back to her. Amy at least had the decency to blush at that moment. Tara very rarely disagreed with her, but she knew Beth well.

Beth walked straight into the textbook section of the student store trying hard to forget what Amy had said, and pretended to get to work.

Silly Amy. How long has she known me?

Does she really think I have the stones to be that bold?

Beth knew she meant well, and it was actually very sweet of her friend to be so excited for her, even if it was all for naught.

She felt Tara stand by her, holding her own clipboard and mimicking Beth's actions.

"You know she has her special way of showing affection." Tara didn't look at Beth as she spoke, instead counting the books on the shelf in front of her.

"I know." Beth responded quietly.

A half hour later Patricia had called the student store demanding Beth return to the library. Apparently she was needed back to finish editing the latest batch of theses that had arrived. Beth rolled her eyes and handed her clipboard to Tara as she made her way out. As she stepped outside into the sunny gravel, she heard Amy calling out for her and turned around ready to face her friend.

"Beth, hey, um" she looked down as Beth watched her, a look of embarrassment clear on her face.

Beth took pity on her. "It's all good, Amy, I know you meant well."

Amy smiled "I just worry about you, you know?"

Beth quickly looked down to her shoes, realizing that her trusty loafers had seen better days.

"I know, but you don't have to" she replied not looking up.

"How are you, Beth? Really?" Beth finally looked up to her friend, surprised that such as simple question had startled her so much.

How am I?

The thought of Daryl popped in her mind. She decided quickly that was probably unhealthy. Fixating on a guy she barely knew, getting all excited over conversations and actions that were superficial, being too scared to act out on anything she actually wanted to. It was all bad. She was a grown up, after all. She couldn't continue acting like child, fawning over a boy who barely knew her.

"I'll be fine" she just shrugged. Amy took a step forward and hugged her friend.

It's funny how that small gesture made Beth want to cry.

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

Friday morning her alarm went off. As she reached over to hit the snooze button, she accidentally shut it off. Ah well, just lay here a few minutes. Don't close your eyes and fall back asleep.

She stared at the ceiling, thinking as she always did. That never did her any good. She laid there for another half hour.

It's okay; I'll just take a quick shower and go into work with wet hair. Just stay in bed a little longer Bethy.

She closed her eyes tight and seriously considered calling in sick. She just wasn't feeling it today. She didn't want to deal with people.

Actually, no. She just didn't want to deal with herself.

Another 30 minutes passed and Beth finally got up. She didn't bother showering or putting on makeup. She did wash her face and apply the same old lip balm she'd been using for ages. She put on her comfortable black slacks, white shirt, and red cardigan. She couldn't look any plainer if she tried. She just didn't care. After brushing her teeth and grabbing a banana, she picked up her purse and headed out the door.

Thank god it's Friday.

For the first time in a really long time, Beth could give a rip about lunch. She did need a break from Patricia however, who was probably in a worse mood than she was. Beth headed towards the theater out of habit, not knowing where else to spend that hour. She knew she wouldn't be eating; she'd need food for that. During her little temper tantrum that morning she'd forgotten to pack one.

You're allowed to have a bad day Greene. Just roll with it.

She saw him walking down the hill. She wished she didn't get excited every time she laid eyes on him, but damn it, she just couldn't help it. That made her even more upset. She turned and looked in the other direction, choosing to watch a small group of students instead.

How dare he make me feel things. How dare he!

"Everything okay, Beth?" He asked as he sat on his usual spot, to the left, slightly above her.

She turned to look at him. Her daddy always told her she pinned her feelings on her sleeve, making it hard for her to hide anything.

"I'm just having a bad day." She looked away again.

"I know how you feel," she looked back wondering what he meant.

"I left my smokes back in my office. I'm too lazy to go back." He was trying to make her laugh, and she appreciated it. They were still a bit of strangers to each other, so she appreciated that gesture. She smiled and turned back to the students.

"No lunch today?"

"No, I forgot it at home." Beth was determined to keep her eyes off of him for as long as she could, daring herself to look straight ahead and not give into temptation.

Stop the thought…think LOGIC thoughts

Glenn always told her that men were easy to read, they were either into you or they weren't. If she had to read too much into any action or words, it probably meant the feelings were one-sided.

Granted at the time Glenn had been referring to a beer commercial they had just seen, but Beth was able to read between the lines.

It was time she moved on. It wasn't healthy for her to keep doing this to herself.

She could see Daryl, just slightly to her left. She saw him reach inside his bag and pull out an orange. He began peeling it and once he was finished, handed it over to her.

"I ate my sandwich on my way over here. This is all I have. Take it."

She turned to fully look at him, shocked.

"Ah hell, just take it woman." He sounded so sincere she couldn't help but smile. She reached over and took the fruit from him, smiling as he shook his head.

"Thanks."

"No thanks needed. So eat it."

She giggled, remembering that just a few days earlier she had demanded the same thing.

Damn it Daryl, why you gotta make me like you so much.


	10. Damnit Dusty Springfield

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lot of people didn't like me too much after this chapter. I hope you can forgive me. I promise good things in the future!!

Beth was not going to mention the orange.

She was going to fight every urge and impulse not tell her sister about the orange. It was Friday family night; she was not going to bring up the fruit and the professor while her nephews played with their Legos.

She was not going to bring up how completely happy it had made her. How afterwards Daryl kept staring and smiling at her with every slice she ate. How such a simple act from him had made her feel like the world revolved around her for a fraction of a second. How that act had turned her sour mood around and made her practically float back to the office.

"You have something you wanna share, Bethy?" She turned to her sister and smiled.

Beth was currently on the floor with the boys. Chuck and Muck were busy building several different vehicles for their little Lego city, whereas Beth was tasked with making all the obstacles that the vehicles would soon be crashing into.

"I do actually," she grinned at Maggie before turning back to her nephews "But if its alright with you, just this once I'm going to keep it to myself."

Maggie's eyes widened at that comment. Beth never kept anything from her, good, bad, or in between.

"I'm trying something different today." Beth shrugged as further explanation as she placed the last block on her building.

Maggie chucked and didn't press further. Instead she went back to trying to figure out a new pearl stich for the scarf she was knitting. Maggie always hated knitting, their mother hell bent on teaching the girls that skill. Maggie figured that in order to defeat her yarn enemy, she first had to master it. Beth would never tell her sister that she was losing that battle.

"Sing a song Aunt Bethy!" Michael looked up at his aunt. He was the musician of the two boys, always humming a tune and begging his mother and sister to sing to him.

"Of course Muck, what would you like to hear?"

He shrugged his shoulders as he picked up a yellow block. Chuck stood up and started to run across the living room, flying the plane he had just finished.

Beth picked a few blocks of her own and began work on a new building as she started to sing the first song that came to her head.

"Fess it up,

dot on the palm of your hand.

I can help you to stand

Saved it up for this dance

Tell me all the things you can"

Beth sensed Maggie perk up a little from the couch she was sitting on as she reached the chorus. She saw a smile forming on her older sister, but ignored her and continued to sing.

"I just wanna sing a song with you

I just wanna be the one that's true

Maggie started smiling as she brought the scarf to her mouth, attempting, not successfully, to hide a new grin that was forming.

"Cause Blue Eyes

You're the secret I keep.

Cause Blue eyes,

You are all that I need"

Beth immediately stopped singing and froze, feeling that familiar sensation of her face heating up in pure embarrassment.

Oh. Damn.

At that, Maggie started laughing. "Keep going, don't let me stop you." She encouraged, suddenly realizing the source of her sister's mood.

Beth turned back to her building, going back to being an architect for the rest of the evening.

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

Tara was a little apprehensive Monday morning, definitely not her usual self. When they passed each other in the building, Tara would smile briefly before changing direction at the last second. If Beth didn't know any better, she'd swear that Tara was avoiding her.

"Hey Tara, I'm heading out for lunch, wanna join me?" Beth popped into the office Tara shared with Olga a few hours later, determined to get to the bottom of this.

"Aw, no, thanks hun. I gotta lot of work to catch up on." She gestured at a small pile of papers on her desk. It didn't seem to be a lot, but Beth didn't want to assume anything "I'll, um see you when you get back though, okay?" Tara herself seemed unsure.

"Okay sure, see ya later, fogie" Beth stepped out, feeling disappointed.

I hope her and Amy didn't get into a fight Beth thought as she walked outside. The weather was significantly warmer these days indicating that summer was fast approaching. She looked forward to the summer break, having the campus all to herself with the handful of staff who didn't have the luxury of getting summers off. The campus would be quiet, the hustle and bustle at the library slowing down. It was a great time to catch up on life.

She sat down and placed her lunch in front of her. Less than five minutes later Daryl was on his way down. Since the science department was on the east part of campus, he always came from the opposite direction as Beth who, coming from the library, walked from the west.

"Mind if I sit here, darling?" he said out of habit, already sitting at his spot to the left, slightly above her.

"Not one bit." She didn't look up at him, too busy fumbling with her lunch.

"So PB&J this time?" He looked at her lunch as he lit his cigarette.

"Yeah, I was feeling lazy this morning" she shrugged as he reached for his own. "Plus you can never go wrong with jam" She took a huge bite of her sandwich as she reached for her phone, eager to listen to her collection of old country songs she had recently downloaded.

Beth enjoyed the new routine and familiarity she and Daryl had been developing. She was still nursing the biggest crush of her life, but figured she should just count her lucky stars and enjoy these moments in between.

"Ah, for you its leftover I see" she saw him pull out a glass container with some sort of pasta inside. An image of Daryl in a kitchen came quickly to mind. She was embarrassed at how much that image excited her.

"Yeah, my buddy's wife sent me home with a pan full of this stuff." He spoke as he shoved a fork full of pasta into his mouth.

As she attempted to search for more conversation, she smiled to herself as she realized that Daryl had initiated this time. She did a victory dance in her head. Baby steps, baby steps.

Today Beth had decided she would begin asking personal questions. Asking about the weekend probably wasn't the most exciting (or most colorful, especially when compared to what Maggie had suggested asking him), but she was Bethy after all.

"So," she wiped her mouth as she turned her whole body in his direction.

"Besides hanging out with your friend, did you do anything exciting this weekend?"

Daryl shrugged as he took another forkful. "Not really. Mostly just hung out." He took a gulp from his water bottle and stared across the theater.

"By yourself?"

"Nah, I had some company."

Beth quickly looked down at her lap and pushed her hair behind her ear.

He had company?

It was the way he said it. Timid in tone, embarrassed almost. He had shrugged and looked down at his own lap as he spoke it.

He had company. Yep, you know what that means

She looked up and smiled at him. She turned away and focused her attention on a handful of students who were walking across the grass. She then followed a butterfly that had crossed her vision as it flew by and then forced herself to stare at a random soda can that lay several feet away.

Of course "he had company". He was a handsome, single man. He was intelligent, caring, and liked to share his lunch with lonely librarians. He definitely was the type of man who would have company.

Completely oblivious to the bombshell he had just dropped on Beth's dreams, Daryl closed the lid to his container and stuffed it back in his bag. He reached for a folder and grabbed his highlighter and pen, getting ready to do some work before class. Beth meanwhile took out her ear buds, plugged them into her phone, and played a random song from her new playlist. She was not going to focus on this. She was not going to dwell. She promised herself she would not make this a thing as she slowly focused on the lyrics playing in her ears

"You don't have to say you love me,

Just be close at hand. You don't

Have to stay forever, I would understand…."

Damnit Dusty Springfield

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

Beth dragged herself back to the library after the longest lunch break she'd ever had.

It isn't fair.

It wasn't fair that she felt the way she did. It wasn't fair to Daryl to be upset and feel betrayed for no reason whatsoever. She wasn't being fair to herself either for being so disappointed over something that had nothing to do with her. Beth sighed as she stood in front of the library door.

It wasn't fair that Daryl was moving on, and she was still exactly the same. She shook her head as she walked in.

As she approached the front lobby, Tara was there typing away at the computer. She looked up and gave her a quick smile before looking back at the screen.

"Okay, Tara, shoot. What the hell is going on?" Beth wasn't in the mood. Her best friend was avoiding her, and she could only take so much rejection that day, real or otherwise.

Tara looked up again and sighed. She leaned an elbow on the counter, placing the hand on her chin and looking her friend straight in the eyes. "I have some news for you, and I'm not sure how to tell you."

Beth rolled her eyes and walked up to her, placing both hands on the counter between them. "Try using English, emphasizing key words, and keeping good eye contact."

Tara sighed again "I was at Amy's apartment on Sunday. We were just lounging in the morning when Dre walked in. Not sure you know this, but she's staying with Amy for a bit."

"Okay" Beth wondered what Amy's sister Andrea had to do with anything.

"She was a little hung over. And she apparently had" Tara paused for emphasis "a busy night."

Beth just stared at her, still not anywhere close to figuring out what Tara was saying.

Her friend tensed and scowled before continuing. "Beth, you know where Dre works, right?"

Beth scanned Tara's face. What the hell?

"Um, yeah, Andrea works here."

"Yeah, but where exactly?"

"The campus? She's a secretary" Beth was still trying to figure her friend out when everything came to place.

Beth looked to the ceiling and figured it out. "She's a secretary in the science department" she finished as she dropped her head on the counter.

Of. Course.

She hit her head lightly on the counter repeatedly. Of course. Of course. Of course.

Tara reached out and placed her hands on Beths. "Your lunch friend works there too doesn't he, baby girl?"

Beth still didn't look up. She just made a set of disgusted sounds. "Yes he does" she said between grunts.

"Aww honey, I'm sorry, I know you had a bit of a crush on Professor Dixon, and if it makes you feel better, I don't think they're like, actually going out. I think they're just…" Beth looked up just then and gave her friend a look that suggested Tara better not finish that sentence. To her credit, Tara obliged.

Beth held her stare and then began laughing. She closed her eyes, feeling her shoulders rise and fall with every chuckle.

"Professor Dixon." She licked her lips as if tasting the sound of his name "You know what, Andrea deserves to go out with him, you know why?"

Tara quietly shook her head

"Because Andrea is a go-getter. She sees something, she goes for it. She doesn't pine, or try to will someone into liking her. She doesn't wait for those precious moments when he'll say a word or sentence to her." Beth hadn't realized her hands had formed into fists under Tara's grasp. "Andrea sure as hell doesn't stay up until the odd hours of the night baking her fifth loaf of bread, just to make sure it's good enough to share. Nope, she just goes for it."

Tara continued to stare at her friend, apparently riveted by how animated Beth was getting.

"But you know why she deserves him the most?" Tara shrugged, almost weary of what was going to come out of Beth now.

"Because she actually knows his full name" She pounded her fists dramatically "Daryl Dixon" she spoke as she leaned back, taking in a deep breath.

Both girls stared at each other for a long while not knowing what to do next. Beth looked at the clock above the desk and decided it was as good a time as any to end her day.

"I think I'm going to take a half day today." She said matter-of-factly as she walked around the counter and into the small hallway leading to her office.

"Yes, yes, I am going to take a half day. Do my 'something different' today. Leave three hours early" she spoke to herself as she picked up her belongings. She walked towards Patricia's office and knocked, opening the door when she heard Pat's annoyed "what is it?" response.

"Hi Patricia, I'm going to take off right now." She realized she was speaking louder and faster than usual, somewhat excited about the idea of leaving early when she still had so much to do. The older woman looked up at her, slowly removing her glasses. Beth stared back.

"Is everything okay Beth?" Patricia spoke slowly as she crossed her arms.

"No, not really, no." Beth looked down, once again feeling the resolve she had earlier leaving her.

"Will you make sure to make up any missed work, tomorrow?"

"Absolutely" She nodded

"Very well, see you bright and early."

At that moment, Beth could have hugged her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Blue Eyes- Cary Brothers  
> You Don't Have to Say You Love Me-Dusty Springfield


	11. Shake it Off and Move On

Beth practically ran to her truck, afraid that if she didn't get out of the campus quickly she would have a break down. She needed a distraction. She wasn't ready for reality just then. She needed something shiny to distract her, something to help dull the pain that was slowly rising up her body. She shook her head a little as if to recharge her senses and reached for her phone.

"Hey Bethy" her sister answered on the fourth ring. Beth could hear her nephews screaming in the background, apparently in some sort of argument.

"Hey Maggie. I got a quick question for you. If you're feeling kind of moody and need a distraction, what would you do?" There was a long pause.

"Well, alcohol always helps."

Beth rolled her eyes "Come on, Maggie, I need your help. I'm not feeling so great right now."

She heard a loud piercing scream in the background. Maggie swore under her breath before yelling to the boys that she was on the phone.

"That enough of a distraction for you?" Beth laughed this time. She loved her sister so much.

"Shopping usually helps." Maggie continued "Buying something stupid and unnecessary. That always works for me." She heard one of the boys (Michael she was sure) start yelling again. She didn't want to take up any more of her sister's time. She was obviously busy.

"Awesome thanks, Mags. I'll call you later."

"Hey Beth, wait!" she heard her call out right as she was about to hang up.

"Are you okay? Is this one of those times I need to worry about my little sister?"

"Maggie, you always worry about me." Beth was sure she sensed her sister smile amongst the crying boys.

"I'm okay, just a little sad. I'll explain everything later, I promise."

"Okay, good. Love you, Bethy"

"Love you too Mags."

Five minutes later, Beth was parked in front of a drugstore. She really wasn't in the mood to be around too many people, so she figured this place would be perfect. Plus she figured she should be proactive and buy some melatonin or something, just in case she had a hard time falling asleep later.

Maggie had suggested for her to go and buy something stupid and unnecessary. The neighborhood pharmacy probably wasn't the ideal place, but Beth figured it wouldn't hurt to browse anyway. She grabbed a basket and started walking aimlessly around the store. Beth walked between aisles of early holiday decorations Independence Day is three months away after all and random lawn furniture. She had a nice little patio area at her apartment, maybe she could get a potted plant or something. She turned the corner and walked into the candy aisle. Candy is always, always, always, a good choice she thought as she grabbed two packs of assorted Hershey chocolates. Beth took her time looking at all the items lined across the shelves before she reached the vitamin section and dropped a large bottle of melatonin in her basket. She started heading towards the registers when she came across the beauty department and slowed down.

Beth had a love-hate relationship with makeup. On the one hand, she enjoyed the confidence it gave her when she wore it, yet that confidence often led to nervousness about being noticed by other people. She walked tentatively down the aisle looking at all the shades of lipstick in front of her. She really wished Maggie or Tara were there with her, they were great at this sort of thing. She stared at the colors some more and figured it wouldn't hurt to pick up a new shade, just to try it out. She'd secretly liked red lipstick, and Tara swore up and down that she would be able to pull it off. Beth looked at the selection and scowled, not realizing that red came in so many shades. She picked up one that seemed a little too bright and put it next to her face.

"That shade would look really good on you!" Beth dropped the lipstick as the unfamiliar voice spoke.

"Oh, I scared you, I'm so sorry." The young woman came up to Beth and picked up the lipstick she had dropped. Beth laughed as she reached for it. "No, I'm just a bundle of nerves right now, please don't apologize." Beth put the cap back on the lipstick and put it back on the shelf.

"Oh no, don't put it back. I meant it. With your fair complexion, that color would look really good on you" the woman reached for the lipstick again and handed it to her. "Really, try it on!" she encouraged as Beth took it back. She was so moved by the woman's enthusiasm that she obliged, first smearing the color on her index finger before applying it to her lips.

"Huh. You're right. It doesn't look bad." She said as she looked at the small mirror placed on the shelf for that very purpose. She turned to the woman and smiled "Thanks."

The woman smiled back and nodded. She looked at Beth for a short while before speaking again. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to stare, but you look really familiar."

Beth laughed, nodding back to her. She got that a lot. Working at the library had that effect on people.

"Are you a student at the college?" Beth asked in return, watching as familiarity dawned on the woman who had started nodding enthusiastically.

"That's probably where you know me from. I work at the library. If you've ever been in there, you've likely seen me."

"Yes, that's where I know you from! You helped my boyfriend with his thesis last semester. You were so patient with him, I was about ready to ring his neck!" Beth laughed. That sounded about right. Thesis time was very stressful for the students, so oftentimes she saw the best of the frazzled.

"I'm sure he was fine. I'm Beth by the way." She extended her hand to the woman who took it immediately. "Hi Beth, nice to meet you. I'm Sasha."

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

During their brief conversation in the drugstore, both Beth and Sasha decided it would be a good idea to grab some coffee. Sasha had to study for a mid-term and needed the energy boost, whereas Beth didn't want to be alone with her thoughts (though she didn't mention that part to Sasha). Both women fell into easy conversation, something that was usually difficult for Beth.

"So what classes do you take at the school?" Beth asked after a good half hour of getting to know each other. "I'm a psych major, mostly in the child development department." Beth put her drink down slowly and looked at her new friend. "Did you know Carol?" Beth asked quietly, feeling her heart speed a bit.

Sasha looked down at her mug "Professor Peletier? Yes, I knew her." She began absentmindedly tracing the rim of her mug. "She taught a lot of my classes, and was kind of my mentor."

Both women were silent for a few seconds, letting thoughts of Carol fill their mind. "Did you take classes from her too?"

Beth shook her head "No. I met her, unsurprisingly, at the library." Beth chuckled softly. "She came in to get a book mended and we kinda became friends after that."

Sasha took a deep breath and began playing with the stirring stick in her coffee. "She was pretty great, wasn't she?" Beth smiled and nodded in agreement. "She really was."

"I can't believe it was something as stupid as the flu that…"Sasha shook her head and took a big gulp of her coffee rather than finish the sentence.

"I know" Beth crossed her arms and placed both elbows on the small table in front of her, looking past Sasha at a random tree in the background.

"Some of the professors in my department say it was because of Sophia. They said she just never recovered from that loss. It weakened her heart and made it difficult for her to fight the illness."

"I mean," Sasha continued "that's just tragic, losing a daughter. I can't imagine that sort of loss. I'd fucking lose it if something happened to my brother."

"Do you know how it happened? Sophia I mean?" Beth didn't know if it was okay to ask that question, but felt comfortable around Sasha to ask it anyway.

"I don't. It never seemed right to ask, you know?" Beth gave her a sad smile in agreement. Sasha looked at her watch "Oh, shit, I have to go. I was supposed to meet Bob fifteen minutes ago. I totally lost track of time." She quickly got up and packed her belongings in her bag. "It was really great to meet you Beth."

"You too. And you know, I'm always at the library. It's starting to wind down just a bit, so if you ever want to hang out again…"

"That would be great Beth, I'd like that!" She quickly scribbled her number on a napkin, making Beth promise to call her if she ever needed help buying new lipstick. Beth laughed and promised she would.

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

Once Beth got back inside her truck she called her sister, knowing she would be worried sick about her. Maggie insisted on her coming over, regardless of it being a school and work night for the boys. Once she got in, the boys came running up to her, reminding Beth that there was nothing that would cheer her up more than those kids running to greet her.

"Okay, spill it!" Maggie handed Beth a glass of wine before she stepped inside the door. "Wow, Maggie, an actual wine glass? No plastic super hero cups today?"

Maggie shook her head as she took a sip from her own. "Nope, this is going to be a serious conversation I take it, and that deserves serious attention." Beth walked into the kitchen as Glenn was setting the boys up with a movie. She had a seat at the table, and proceeded to bend forward and place her cheek on the table. Maggie walked behind her, lightly squeezing her neck as she walked by. She sat next to her sister just as Glenn walked in. "Is this a sister's only thing? Because I sort of get nervous whenever Maggie brings out the good glassware." Beth laughed as she felt the wood scratching her lightly under her skin.

"It is a sister's thing, but don't think for a second that means you aren't included." She answered while watching him from her awkward position at the table. Glen smiled at her and patted her head as he went to grab a beer from the fridge.

"What's going on Beth?" her sister looked down at her, tone gentle and worrisome.

"In the big scope of things nothing really." She rolled her head slightly so that her forehead was now pressing down on the table.

"Today during lunch I found out that Daryl is seeing Andrea" at that moment, Beth realized how something that could be summed up in one sentence still had enough of an impact to make her feel sick to her stomach.

"Who's Andrea?" Glenn was looking at Maggie when he asked. Maggie shrugged, unsure as to what the answer was.

"Andrea is Amy's sister." Beth answered as she rolled her head back to face the direction of her sister and brother-in-law. Recognition dawned on Maggie as she took in what Beth was saying.

"Who's Amy?" Glenn still looked confused.

"Amy is Tara's girlfriend, dad." Michael had somehow snuck into the kitchen and was looking at his father with a look of disappointment.

"Hey, get back out there boy" Maggie stood and led Muck out of the kitchen.

"It's nice to know not all the Rhee boys are entirely clueless." Beth chuckled as she slowly raised her head to face Glenn. He was watching her closely, obviously working on how to say what he wanted to.

"I know it shouldn't upset me, but it does. I liked him. I was hoping it would have been me." As she said those words out loud, she dropped her head back onto the table, fighting the urge to cry. God I'm pathetic.

"Beth, you didn't want it to be you." Glenn said after a minute.

"Are you sure? 'Cause right now her life is looking pretty good compared to mine." She lifted her head again and downed the last of her wine.

"Nah, it isn't like that." He went around and sat next to her and looked her square in the eyes. "Andrea, she's a band aid. She's a pain killer. He's probably still hurting from Carol and needs a distraction, something that will take the pain away." He put his hand on hers.

"He doesn't want a cure from the hurt, he just wants to dull it."

He smiled at her and patted her hand "You don't want to be pain killer, Beth. No happy endings ever come from them. No good story develops from something that begins that way."

She smiled as she looked at him. She felt her eyes moisten and slowly nodded in agreement.

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

The following day, Beth sat in her little office as the Black Keys played from her computer. She thought for a long time about what Glenn had told her. He was right. She didn't want to be a distraction for Daryl. If that was what he needed right now, Beth was damn happy that it wasn't her. She wouldn't have been able to handle it. She was no pain killer.

She knew this, all she had to do now was believe it.

Beth looked around her little office. Besides the pictures in her frames that she had updated from time to time, everything else was exactly as she had organized it years ago. This angered her.

Well Greene, you wanted a push. You've been pushed.

You aren't a band aid. You're a bad ass. And bad assess just shake it off and move on.

So move on.

She quickly got up from her seat and walked out towards the hallway. She found Tara a few feet away in deep conversation with Olga.

"Tara I have a question for you" Beth interrupted, not caring in the least what the two women had been discussing.

"What's up?" Tara looked concern.

"How do I look?" Beth was almost timid as she asked it.

Tara balked. That was clearly not what she was expecting.

"Uh, you look fine Beth" Tara answered, still taken aback by her question

"No really, Tara. How do I look?" Beth gestured at her outfit, trying to emphasize what she was trying to ask.

Tara gave Beth a once-over and took a step forward.

"Take off the cardigan." Beth quickly took it off, making her strapless floral dress more revealing now that she didn't have her cover. "And um, take your hair down." Beth quickly undid her side ponytail and fanned her hair over her shoulders. Tara smiled and turned to Olga "You look beautiful Beth" Olga smiled and nodded in approval.

"Thanks fogie. I'll be right back" Beth walked back to her office, placing the blue cardigan over her chair before she turned to leave again. As she was about to walk out, she saw her reflection on the large silver frame hanging by her door. She quickly French braided her hair again, just at the crown of her head, tying it loosely and a bit sloppily over her left shoulder. She loved braids, and thought that particular style looked good on her. She turned and put her cardigan back on. She loved cardigans, and this one was cute and form fitting, hugging her small curves and giving her a look of sophistication. She squared back her shoulders and looked at the reflection once more. If she was going to give herself a push, she was still going to be Beth when she did it. Just for fun, she took out the red lipstick Sasha had helped her pick and applied it to her lips.

A few minutes later, Beth was walking out her office again, feeling a little more scared, but a lot more confident than she had been for a long time.

"Ah, there she is! That's it!" Tara called out to her as she was about to step outside. Beth turned and looked at her friend. "Baby-girl, now you look stunning."

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

She had never been to that part of campus, never had a reason to. She knew how to find it though; she knew every inch of this school. All the librarians were tasked with giving tours of the campus whenever requested. For whatever reason, students always seemed to go to the library whenever they got lost, so Beth made an effort to learn every nook and cranny of the Georgian school. Now here she was, a place she had always directed lost students to, but never actually had a reason to come.

Not that she had a reason now, but what the hell. What did she have to lose?

"Can I help you?" the female behind the desk asked as she walked in.

Great, what now?

"Yeah I, uh, lost something?" Beth realized she sounded completely confused, but she hadn't exactly planned this out. Rebels didn't plan things, right?

"Okay, you'll have to fill out a Lost Property Report" the girl reached down underneath her and handed a form over to Beth, forcing her to walk in further into the office. As Beth pretended to look over the document she sensed another person walk up in front of her.

"Its okay Rosita, I got this" Beth smiled as she continued reading the form. She had to fight the urge to giggle as she looked up, pushing her hair behind her ears.

Mr. Shane Walsh was staring back at her with that familiar grin on his face.

So this is what it looks like when a guy is interested in you?

Beth quickly looked down at her form again, writing her name and number on the corresponding lines.

She still sensed him looking at her. Surprisingly, she didn't feel herself blush.

Rosita walked away leaving Beth and Shane alone in the campus security lobby. "How may I help you" he leaned his head close to Beth's in order to read the name she had just written "Miss Beth Greene?"

"Well" Beth stalled. She still had no clue what she was doing. She started to chuckle out of nerves, though it appeared to make her more endearing to Shane. He continued watching her, an amused smile plastered on his face.

"I seem to have misplaced" Beth scanned the room, searching for a prompt to help her figure this out before her eyes locked on the clock above his shoulder.

"I seemed to have misplaced my lunch" She finished, a proud look on her face.

Bad. Ass.

Shane chuckled as he leaned further on the counter. "Okay then, Ms. Greene. Let's go out there and help you find it."


	12. Little Bethy is Growing Up

Beth closed her eyes, and took a deep breath.

Seven, six, five, four, three, two, one. Breathe.

She let it out in one long exhale. She opened her eyes and scanned her surroundings. Not including the theater, the small pond by the library was her favorite place to sit between breaks. A family of ducks had decided to make those ponds their home and Beth enjoyed coming out and feeding them when she was able to. The past week and a half had been very adventurous for her, so she decided to take a page out of Patricia's book and try some meditation.

She closed her eyes again and took another breath. Six, five, four, three, two, one. Breathe.

She had absolutely enjoyed her time with Shane the previous week and she suspected he had as well. Glenn and Maggie assured her that the calls and messages he had been sending her were definitely a good indicator that he was a little smitten with her.

Shane had surprised her earlier that day by stopping at the library and taking her out to AJs, promising that in no time he would take her out on a proper date. It wasn't because he didn't want to, he had other responsibilities.

Whomever Amy had spoken to about Shane had given her the wrong information. No, he did not own a dog, but he did have an infant daughter whom he had sole custody of. Baby Judith kept him busy on nights and weekends, so their dates had been during the day time. He absolutely beamed when he spoke of his daughter, which made him more attractive to her.

As they parted ways, he gently pulled her towards him and placed a chaste kiss next to her lips. She felt the air leave her body, having realized that was the first time, in a very long time, that she had felt a man's lips on her.

She had no idea how to process this.

Five, four, three, two, one. Breathe.

She was still too jittery to return to the office, so she made a detour to one of the benches that oversaw the pond. A couple of ducks had quickly approached her, conditioned to approach any adult who sat close by.

"Hello ducks. No bread today." She could have sworn they looked irritated at her.

"Sorry friends, I'm a little busy trying to figure myself out right now, I can't bother with you today." They didn't seem to sympathize.

Beth put her hand by her lips where Shane had kissed her. It was sweet and what she needed. She sighed and closed her eyes again. She didn't want to think it….wasn't going to think it…had been doing a good job not thinking it…

I wish it had been Daryl

"Ugh! No!" she yelled, scaring the ducks away. Her moment of Zen was leaving. She needed to bring it back.

Stop the thought…think happy thoughts.

Shane placing his hand on her lower back as he led her to a booth at AJs.

Shane talking about Judith

The kiss.

Four, three, two, one. Breathe

Another positive change was her potential new friendship with Sasha. She had called Beth the previous day asking if she wanted to join her and Bob at the new sushi restaurant that had opened a few blocks away. Beth brought Tara with her, and all four of them got along wonderfully. It was nice to be surrounded with good people and simply enjoying each other's company.

Three, two, one. Breathe.

As she slowly got up and headed towards the library she tried to remember the last time she'd had lunch at the theater. She hadn't been avoiding it intentionally; it just ended up that way. Between spending time with Shane and getting to know Sasha, as well as the recent peak in student activity at the library that kept her working through her lunch, Beth hadn't been able to make it out there.

She knew the theater would be waiting for her when things calmed down.

Now, whether a certain man would still be there when she made her way back, well, that was completely out of her control. She'd just have to wait and see.

Breathe.

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

The rest of that week had not slowed down in the least. The thesis rush was greater than usual, making Beth stay at the library past seven the last few nights. She usually didn't mind having to work late, but now she had something of a life starting. She didn't want to waste it working.

Her phone buzzed alerting her of a new message. She smiled knowing immediately who it was as she reached for it and looked at the screen.

I think it's time for your break. You should come out here and keep me company.

Beth scoffed at her phone, trying to figure out what to type in response. Before she had a chance to, it buzzed in her hand again.

Please? I'm out of my mind bored.

"Ha!" she exclaimed as she began typing.

"You sure know how to make a girl feel special, Shane. Tell me about being bored again?" she spoke out loud as she typed.

If he wanted her company, he was going to have to work for it.

The phone rang immediately after she sent the message causing Beth to laugh out loud. Tara came into her office and sat quietly in front of her desk, resting her elbows on the desk "I hear you laughing in here, what's going on?" she asked sternly, leaning forward with her face resting on her hands.

Beth held up one finger as she answered her phone.

"Yes hello?" She answered sweetly as she grinned at her friend, cluing Tara in as to who was on the receiving end of the line.

"Hello, Beth this is Shane. I just wanted to call and let you know that I've been thinking about you all morning." She covered her face with her free hand, causing Tara to grin widely at her.

"Go on" Beth encouraged him, leaning forward towards Tara. Tara rolled her eyes, but didn't stop smiling back at her friend.

"I was wondering if you would be so kind as to grace me with your company. The office is quiet right now, so I believe we would be able to have some great conversations."

Beth brought her hand down from her face and tried to play it cool.

"See, was that so hard?" she argued and was rewarded with a chuckle. Beth looked at the clock and groaned when she realized it was barely 10:30. "I'd love to come out. Let me see if I can sneak out of here."

"That would be fantastic. Hope to see you in a few, gorgeous." Beth squeezed her eyes shut at the term of endearment. It always embarrassed her when he said it, mostly because she knew he meant it.

"So that's what, three days this week that you've hung out with him during lunch?" Tara teased as soon as Beth hung up. "Plus the two days last week? It's getting serious isn't it baby girl?"

"Absolutely" Beth teased in return "I think he might be ready to propose."

"Oh, ha ha!" Tara took hold of Beth's hand and gave it a quick squeeze "Good for you friend, it's about time you got your groove back. Just don't forget, you promised to have lunch with Amy and me this week. Don't flake on us now that you've got yourself a beau!"

"Of course not Tara, don't be absurd" she swatted at her friend

Beth scanned her desk and winced when she saw the pile of order forms and requests that had accumulated that week. She really didn't have the luxury of taking an extra-long lunch break, but she wanted to see Shane. She couldn't help it.

Beth stood from her seat and absentmindedly straightened her skirt as she walked toward the door. "So what kind of mood is Patricia in? I'm going to see if she'll let me take off for a couple of hours."

Tara was still sitting in the chair at Beth's desk. She stretched her arms wide above her and let out a long yawn. "Hell if I know. Pat's gone for the day." She looked at Beth and extended her arm towards her, fingers curled in a fist. Beth grinned wide and reciprocated the gesture, giving her friend a fist bump.

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

Beth really didn't get a chance to hang out with Shane for too long. After a half hour, he received a phone call from the sheriff's department letting him know that one of the officers was on his way to talk to him.

"Should I be worried that a sheriff is coming to talk to you?" Beth joked when Shane got off the phone. He looked at her with a serious, yet humorous, expression. "No. Those bastards can't prove anything until they find the body."

Beth groaned at his joke causing him to laugh. "Nah, its all part of the job. Liaison with the sheriff and all." He gestured at his office as he said it. "We're just making sure this campus remains safe for all you lovely people" he winked, causing the now-familiar butterflies in her stomach to dance.

"Well then, I won't keep you. I should head back anyway. Those books wont order themselves." He stood up and led her towards the exit. Right as he opened the door for her, he gently grabbed her arm causing her to turn around and face him "So what do you think about dinner tomorrow night?"

Beth almost told him no.

Friday nights are family night with Maggie and the boys. I can't change things.

"I'd like that" Beth answered quietly, hoping her initial doubt hadn't registered.

Maggie would kill her if she turned down a first date to hang out with her.

Shane smiled as he stepped to the side to let her out. "I'll call you later" he promised as she walked past him. She stopped right outside the door and turned to him again. Quickly, she leaned towards him, got on her toes and gave him a quick peck on the lips before stepping back. As his lips began to form a smile, Beth winked at him and turned back, walking outside to a greeting sun.

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

What the hell was that?

Beth found herself by the pond again, reflecting back on the last 15 minutes. Did I just initiate a kiss? Granted, it was quick and completely chaste. It probably didn't actually register as a kiss if she really thought about it, but still. She had done it.

Did I also wink? Since when do I wink?

She scoffed and shook her head.

Ever since she took the initiative to go find Shane, she'd find herself having similar moments of disbelief. These moments were never out of embarrassment or shame or regret. They were more out of wonder. She had no idea she had it in herself to behave in that matter. Confident. Assertive. Feisty almost.

And it didn't suck.

"Huh. Little Bethy is growing up" she whispered to herself.

"Well if I didn't know any better, I'd say I was stalking you." Beth began smiling as she recognized the voice speaking to her. She looked up and saw a familiar face smiling back.

"Hello Michonne. How great to see you again." Beth stood up and walked towards Michonne, who was currently pushing Candace in her stroller.

"I guess I shouldn't respond like this if you were actually stalking me, right?" Beth sheepishly added as the older woman laughed and shook her head. "Probably not."

Michonne walked around and took Candace out of her stroller and went to sit on the bench Beth had just vacated. "This is my favorite spot at the school" she said as she placed Candace on her lap facing the pond.

"It is beautiful" Beth agreed as she sat down next to her. "You come here a lot?"

"No, I wouldn't say a lot, but often. Rick, my husband, collaborates with the head of campus security here so sometimes we come out to join him."

"Rick works with Shane Walsh?" Beth was surprised by the connection.

Really, this is such as small town.

Michonne looked at Beth and smiled as she nodded her head. Beth noticed that her smile didn't quite reach her eyes.

"I take it you know Shane?" She asked cautiously. Beth nodded and started playing with Cadie's hand "Yeah, I know him." She felt her face go slightly red as she continued doting on the baby, who had somehow made it onto Beth's lap. The women remained silent for a second as they watched her.

"So Beth, are you a student here?"

"No, I work at the library. Been here ten years now."

"Wow, ten years? You must love it."

"I do actually. I started as a Literature Major when I first enrolled here. I began working at the library during my freshman year to help pay for tuition and found that I really enjoyed it. After I graduated, I enrolled at Valdosta State for my master's in Library Sciences and I've been here ever since."

"How great it is to find something you love and succeed in it" Michonne was watching her daughter during the conversation, who cooed at her mother as she bounced on Beth's lap with glee.

"Carl is starting college this fall. I think Rick is relieved he's coming here. He'll be able to keep his eye on him. Or at the least guilt Shane into keeping him in line."

Beth looked at Michonne wondering what she had meant by that. She was about to ask when Cadie started bouncing even quicker, squealing in delight as she saw her father and brother walking towards them.

Both women stood up, Beth still holding on to Candace. "Hey there doll, did you miss your pa?" Rick came straight to Beth and pulled the baby from her arms.

"Carl, you remember Beth right?" Michonne laughed as she placed her arm around his shoulder.

"Yeah, hey Beth." He managed to mumble out, face turning red and not looking at Beth.

"Rick, remember that time I told you about Carl flirting with a girl outside your station? Meet Beth." She grinned wider, pulling Carl closer into an embrace.

Rick started chucking as he turned to Beth, a wide happy smile that any woman would be lucky to be on the receiving end of.

"Is that right? Well hello Miss Beth, it's damn nice to meet you" he let out in a slow southern drawl, extending his right arm as he balanced Candace on his left.

After shaking his hand, Beth turned to look at Carl who looked completely mortified in his step-mother's arms. She couldn't help but feel a bit sorry for him. She knew what it was like to be in an uncomfortable situation more than anyone else.

"Hey Carl, I never got a chance to thank you for that. I was having a really cruddy morning that day, and your sweet words made me smile. It's nice when a girl gets some attention from a cutie like yourself." She lightly swatted his arm at the last word, and was rewarded with a big smile. She caught Michonne and Rick look at each other for a second, clearly amused by the whole exchange.

"Well, we should probably start heading back now" Michonne said as she reached for Candace who was not thrilled to be leaving her daddy's arms.

"Thanks so much for the distraction, I love any excuse to be out here" Beth smiled as she reached for Candace's foot and gave it a quick squeeze.

"Carl, I hoped you enjoyed the five cent tour, that's all your getting for now considering how much I'm paying for the actual education" Rick patted his son on the back as Michonne placed Candace back in her stroller.

"You'll love this school, Carl. It really is one of the best in the area." Beth smiled at him as she pulled her purse strap over her shoulder. "And if you ever want a proper tour, let me know. Showing off this campus is one of the perks of being a librarian."

"That is very kind of you, Beth. We will definitely take you up on that offer" Rick responded in all sincerity.

"Yeah, thanks Beth. When can you give me the tour?" Carl exclaimed, getting a little more excited than necessary.

"Easy there Carl." Rick half whispered to his son as Michonne laughed and shook her head.

Beth turned to look at the library. It was such a beautiful day, and the thought of going back in was not appealing at the moment.

Technically, I would be working she justified to herself before turning to the family again.

"How about right now?"

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

Several hours later, Beth was finally ready to stop task avoiding and got back to work. The minuscule amount of guilt she felt at being out of the library for so long quickly dissipated when she realized half the library staff was already gone. Tara had only stayed because she wanted to know how it had gone with Shane. She was quickly disappointed to find out that Beth had more to say about the Grimes' family then of Mr. Shane Walsh.

"Ugh, even when you're in relationship you're a total square" she grunted as she walked back to the front lobby.

Beth laughed. She knew she was a square…but she was a quickly becoming a prism square. The kind of square that had dimensions and popped out at you when least expected.

"Oh god!" she laughed at herself. Here was another example of the strange new thoughts forming in her head. As she continued to scold and amuse herself, Tara returned to the office, the playful look back on her face.

"There is a very handsome gentleman who is requesting your assistance in the lobby right now." She beamed at her friend.

"Oh really?" Beth responded equally amused. "Well, I just can't seem to keep those men off of me now can I?" she laughed as she stood up to greet Shane.

"You shouldn't have to. You are totally adorable." Tara poked at Beth's shoulder as she walked further into Beth's office, clearly giving her friend some time with her new man.

Beth smiled as she walked up the front. She liked feeling confident she decided. She liked feeling wanted. It had been a very long time since she indulged in those feelings, but hey, better now than never. As she stepped into the lobby, a smile painted on her face she made eye contact with the man who never stopped giving her butterflies.

"Oh." She exclaimed as her face quickly turned to shock then embarrassment as she accidentally knocked over a pile of books. She quickly picked one up and stood again.

"Hey Daryl."


	13. Happy to be Back

She stared at Daryl for a few seconds, attempting to process the sight in front of her. It occurred to her at that moment that this was the first time she had seen him outside the theater, and it seemed wrong somehow. Like a daydream come to life.

"Do you need help with those?" he gestured at the books that Beth accidentally knocked down seconds before.

"No," she furiously shook her head "I, uh, meant to drop them on the floor at some point today. I guess I got ahead of myself" she smiled at him, wishing there was some force that could take pity and blink her out of existence.

He laughed at her attempt of a joke, and try as she might, she couldn't fight the urge to laugh back.

We're both nervous. She realized when they both stopped and made fleeting eye contact with each other.

She was flustered for a second but then realized she had the upper hand there. He was on her turf now, she could dictate how this went.

"Can I help you with something, Professor Dixon?" she asked in a mock authoritative voice. He brought both of his hands together and started squeezing them before releasing and then biting the pad of his thumb.

Is he more nervous than I am right now?

He cleared his voice before speaking. "Nah, I was just passing by. Thought I should stop and say hello." He kept looking at the counter in front of him, picking up a pen and tapping it on the counter. Carol use to do that she remembered fondly as she watched.

She furrowed her brow before looking up at him again "Wait, you were passing by? Isn't the science department on the other side of campus?" Beth was genuinely confused. Daryl stopped playing with the pen but kept his eyes down.

"I wanted to see if you were okay." He finally responded as he slowly placed the pen back in its holder.

"If I was okay?" she repeated, curiosity echoed in the words she spoke.

Why would he come to see if I was okay?

"You haven't been at lunch" he finally looked at her, seemingly able to read her thoughts. "I wanted to see if you were okay."

She stared at him, trying to figure out how to respond. She felt the nervous giggles creeping up, and was proud of herself for keeping them at bay. She knew she should say something, anything, in response, yet just couldn't figure out what.

Just keep it simple, Greene.

"I'm okay." She smiled at him, tucking her hair behind her ear.

"The library has been really busy" she continued "end of the school year and all." She shrugged almost apologetically. The butterflies were gone and her heart had returned to normal speed. She now felt a sense of calm, a familiarity being near him.

He nodded and led out a short breath, almost as if relieved by her words.

"Right," he took a step back, looking around the room.

"So, uh," he turned to look at her again, blue eyes hooded "is the library winding down at all?"

Beth looked down at the stack of returned books piled on the counter. She turned to her right and saw that all the computers which lined the walls were occupied with students as other students stood by waiting for an on open spot. She looked to the left just as a handful of students came up to bulletin board to sign up for thesis assistance. A third student walked up to the counter and picked up several Requests for Book Retrieval applications.

"Actually," she looked back at Daryl "yes." She smiled wide, "It is slowing down a bit."

"I'll see you tomorrow?" he asked, absentmindedly reaching for the bag he had placed on the floor.

Beth pressed her lips together in a tight smile as she nodded, reaching towards the pencil holder, picking up the pen he had put down.

"Alright" he turned around and walked towards the exit then stopped. He turned towards her "I'm glad you're okay" He gave her a half smile before walking out.

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Her first instinct was to call Maggie and fill her in on the craziness that just took place. Her second instinct was to run back to Tara and get her input on things. Her third instinct was to run to the bathroom, stare at herself in the mirror, and replay the conversation over and over again.

She decided against all of these options.

She was making healthy and positive strides in her road towards self-awareness. She was not going to slip back to previous ways and over analyze every part of the interaction. She would not perseverate on the fact that he came out of his way to find her because he was worried. How he managed to ask her to come back to lunch with him the next day. Or especially how both were able to see past each other's bull-crap and communicate what they really wanted from the other.

She groaned to herself and lightly pounded her fist against her forehead.

You're still you, Beth

With a sigh she decided to compromise. She would only give herself the amount of time it took for her to get back to her office to obsess over this encounter before she dropped it and went along with her day. Once she was sitting back at her desk, she would let it go.

She found Tara waiting for her in her office. Quietly, Beth walked around and sat at her seat, shaking the computer mouse to awaken the monitor.

"I take it that was Professor Dixon?" Tara asked

"I prefer to call him Daryl. But yes, that was him" Beth typed in her login and password, not bothering to look up at her friend.

"You're not gonna say anything about what just happened?" there was a gleam of mischief in Tara's eyes. Tara knew that it affected Beth more than she was letting on.

"There really isn't anything to say" Beth clicked on her email, hoping there was something there to distract her.

14 unread messages. Yep, that'll do it.

"Beth?" Tara now looked worried.

Beth sighed. "He was just checking up on me." With that simple sentence, the butterflies returned.

She felt herself blush, but continued with her work.

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

When Beth was nervous, she baked. A habit she had inherited from her mother, much to the delight of her siblings. It was her way of having control over situations that were completely out of her own. When Beth arrived home that Thursday evening, she quickly got her flours and spices out and got to work. Tomorrow was going to be interesting. Lunch with Daryl, dinner with Shane. In a small part of her brain she knew she should have felt something. Guilt? Shame maybe? The fact that she didn't feel anything of the sorts didn't bother her. Maybe that was part of her evolving.

She looked at the supplies in front of her as she considered what to bake. A big smile formed on her face as an idea came to her. With a chuckle, she went into her fruit basket and selected what she needed. Looking back, Beth should have realized the significance of what she had chosen, but at the moment she was too focused on the task at hand.

After all, if she was going to finish the orange zest muffins before bedtime, she had better get started.

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

The muffins were a hit as was evident by most of them being gone minutes after Beth had placed them in the library break room. She saved one for Shane, who was currently on his way over to meet her.

"Beth," Olga stuck her head inside Beth's office, a huge grin on the older woman's face. "Someone's here for you." She whispered, making Beth laugh. "I'll distract Pat, you take your time." Beth laughed even harder; they all enjoyed being sneaky right under Patricia's nose.

"Well hello there Shane" she greeted as she walked up to him.

"Hello back, gorgeous. Staying busy back there?" Shane gestured towards the back.

"Trying not to" she smiled in response.

"Well, that's good to know" he nodded in approval.

She smiled back at him and remembered the muffins "Oh hey, before I forget, I made some muffins last night. Do you like oranges?"

Shane frowned and shook his head. "No, not a big fan. But thanks."

"Okay." She couldn't help but feel a little disappointed.

Ah well, shake it off.

Shane didn't appear to have noticed her change in affect as he leaned forward across the counter "I was thinking of coming to get you around 7 tonight? Nice dinner, maybe go for a walk after?"

"That sounds lovely. I look forward to it" once more, she was surprised by the fact that she hadn't blushed.

He leaned back "I thought you would. So what are your plans for the rest of the day?"

She shrugged "Nothing really. I'm meeting up with a friend for lunch." She giggled a little at that as she tucked her hair behind her ear.

"Oh yeah? Who? Tara?"

Right at that moment Tara came up to the front completely in work mode, unaware of the pair. She was carrying a stack of books that she set down before scanning them onto the computer.

Beth shook her head. "No, someone else. He's a…newer friend" she sensed Tara perk up and look in her direction. "We usually eat at the old theatre by the drama department." She tried to say that matter-of-factly, like it wasn't a big deal. Which, to be fair, really wasn't. She had no reason to hide her friendship with Daryl from Shane. Besides, if Shane had any problem with it, he didn't show it.

"I hate that theater" Shane grunted. "It's caused me so many headaches over these past years, I sometimes wish they'd just take it down."

She heard Tara gasp as Beth dramatically put her hand to her heart. "Bite your tongue Shane Walsh, I love that theater!"

He shrugged "You wouldn't if you knew the hoodlums that gathered there on the weekends."

"Well, I was going to invite you to join me for lunch there, but now I'm not so sure" Beth was a little hurt by his declaration. That had been her little haven for the past 10 years and she felt protective of it.

"No, it's okay. I'm not a fan of eating outdoors anyway"

"It's a good thing you got Daryl" Tara called from the far side of the counter. Beth shushed her friend before turning back to Shane. He continued with his smirk, unaffected by Tara's comment.

"Thanks for the invitation, Beth." He told her in a lowered tone. "I know why you did it, but it's okay. I'm not worried." He winked at her and began walking backwards towards the exit. "I'll see you tonight" with a final wave he walked out of the library.

Beth continued staring at the door, not quite sure how to process what just happened. Luckily, she had Tara there to give her impression.

"What a cocky motherfucker" Tara gasped as she also stared at the door.

"Tara!" Beth chided her as she made her way back to her office. Tara dramatically rolled her eyes as she went back to work.

As Beth went back to her office she replayed the conversation in her head. She sighed as she sat at her desk and leaned all the way back in her seat.

Was Shane not worried because he trusted me? Or because he thinks I would never be interested in anyone else?

She picked up her muffin and took a big bite.

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

She snuck out of the office early for lunch. She was on edge for whatever reason, something she rarely felt. Beth was usually easy going, but there was something that was bothering her, and she could not for the life of her put her finger on it.

As she walked up the grassy field, she couldn't help but wonder how Shane could dismiss it so much. What was there to dislike? Trees, grass, flowers…like a little remote island in the middle of campus. As she turned to her usual spot, she was pleasantly surprised to find that Daryl was already there, sitting crossed legged, book in his hand.

She tried to ignore the butterflies in her stomach as she walked up to him. She also didn't want to acknowledge that the bad feelings she was feeling earlier were slowly dissipating with every step closer she took to him.

"Hey there" she smiled as she sat at her usual spot. He jumped slightly, obviously surprised by her. She laughed a little as she settled in.

"Damn girl, you sure know how to sneak up on a guy."

Beth scoffed "I did not sneak up on you. It's not my fault you were too busy with your book."

Surprising herself (again), she took the book from his hands "Let's see what you're scaring yourself with this time" she looked at the cover and read it out loud "The Hundred Year Lie: How to Protect Yourself from the Chemicals in Your Life" she looked cautiously at him.

"Why? Why do you do this to yourself?" she half joked, half pled to him. Daryl took the book from her hands.

"Because unlike some people, I don't like to live in denial" he rasped as he dog-eared the last page he had read and placed it back in his bag. He retrieved a cigarette from its pack.

"Denial huh? Tell me Professor, what does it say about smoking in that book of yours?" she winked, smiling wickedly at him as he turned to her.

He reciprocated her grin as he placed the cigarette between his lips. "Smart ass" he mumbled as he lit the end.

She didn't know what it was about him that made her feel so comfortable, to be able to joke around with him despite the fact that it'd been weeks since they had lunch together. Maybe it was because she didn't feel any pressure now that she was seeing Shane. Or maybe because she finally accepted that Daryl wasn't interested romantically in her. Maybe it was her new found confidence.

What she did know was that she enjoyed spending time with him, and it appeared he felt the same about her.

"Would you like to try an orange muffin?" She asked, smiling shyly at him.

"Did you make it?" He looked back, giving her the same half smile he had given her the day before.

She nodded and looked out across the theater. "From scratch actually"

Daryl followed her gaze as he took a long drag.

"Well then hell yeah." They turned to each other and smiled.

Beth knew one more thing. She was happy to be back.


	14. Thank You

"So, tell me everything…absolutely everything." Maggie was bobbing her head with a little too much enthusiasm. Beth rolled her eyes and attempted to ease off on the annoyance. This was Beth's first date in a really long time; Maggie was allowed to be inquisitive. Sasha giggled as she sat on Beth's other side. Beth had warned her friend about this, yet somehow that hadn't deterred her from coming.

As luck would have it (and because this really was a small town), Sasha happened to be the younger sister of Tyreese Williams, one of the managing distributors that Glenn worked closely with. Glenn and Tyreese got along great together, so when the connection was made, Maggie jumped at the chance of expanding their social group.

Which brought them all together, Bob included, to this warm Saturday afternoon, the women relaxing in the backyard on old plastic folding-chairs, while the men stood around the BBQ.

"You're still not saying anything, Bethy." Her sister warned, glaring as she spoke.

"It was nice" Beth responded as she watched Chuck and Muck running through the sprinklers. Maybe if I go join them, I won't have to talk to her

She turned to look at Maggie who was still glaring. Beth groaned and took a sip from her tea.

"I know what'll make her talk." Sasha reached over and switched Beth's tea with her own.

"No, Sasha, ew!" Beth reached for her drink, but Sasha slapped her hand away.

"It's just ice tea with a little bit of rum. Drink it up and talk!" Sasha gestured towards Bob to bring her another one.

Beth tentatively took a sip, and was surprised to find she liked it. She shrugged and drank some more.

"We had a great time, he was a total gentleman, planned a lovely evening. It was nice."

Maggie rolled her eyes and let her head fall back on her seat. Sasha wasn't ready to give up yet however.

"Okay let's try this, 20 questions, lightning round. Answer these and we'll stop bugging you"

Maggie perked up and smiled as she swung her legs and sat up in Beth's direction. She placed her elbows on her thighs and leaned towards her sister. "Yes, great idea Sasha. Wait, we'll need Glenn for this."

Maggie called for Glenn who quickly came to sit next to Maggie. He was just as curious as Maggie was and therefore happy to play.

"Me first, I'll start with an easy one" Sasha smiled as she got the game rolling.

"Where did you go for dinner?"

"We went to Angelo's" Beth took another sip.

"Did he kiss you goodnight?" Maggie eye's sparkled.

"Pass."

"Did he do gentlemen-y things, like open doors for you and pull out your chair?" Sasha smiled.

"Yeah, he did."

"Did he kiss you goodnight?" Now it was Glenn's turn to smirk

"Pass." Beth gave him a dirty look as she started to feel the effects of the rum.

"Did you go anywhere else afterwards?" Sasha continued.

"Yes, we took a stroll down the neighborhood and looked at all the Fourth of July decorations."

"Did he hold your hand?"

"Yes, Maggie, he held my hand the entire time we walked."

"Did you make plans to see him again?" Glenn asked.

"Tentative plans for another night. I see him a lot at the campus anyway" She clarified as she saw the look of disapproval from Glenn's face.

"Bethy," Maggie's stern look was back. "Did he give you a kiss goodnight?" she tilted her head as she asked the question, as if that would make Beth more willing to answer. It worked.

"God, Maggie, yes! He gave me a kiss goodnight." Beth gulped the last of her tea before setting it down dramatically. "You happy?"

"No, not quite. How was it?"

"That's my cue" Glenn stood up and walked back to Bob and Tyreese.

Sasha leaned closer and nudged her friend's arms, "Yeah, Beth. How was it?" she smiled. Beth closed her eyes and tried to think of how to describe it.

"It was...aggressive."

"What!" The look of humor quickly left her sister's face. Beth turned to Sasha who looked taken aback as well.

"No, that came out wrong." Back tried to back pedal, trying to figure out a better adjective. "The kiss was unexpected?"

Without meaning to, Beth began laughing. "I'm totally saying this wrong!" she said between breaths. Maggie and Sasha looked at one another before focusing back to Beth.

"How about you start over?" Sasha said as she handed back Beth's ice tea.

"I wasn't expecting it." Beth attempted again "He was dropping me off at my apartment. As I looked down to grab my keys he kind of just pulled me towards him and initiated a kiss. It was invasive, not how I would have thought a first kiss would be. It didn't suck." Beth was pulling at her shirt as she spoke. She was always uncomfortable talking about that sort of thing, but these were the things she was supposed to talk about with the women in her life.

She looked up to see Maggie who looked a little worried. "I wasn't going to let him have the last move, though. Right before I stepped into my apartment, I gave him a little peck on the cheek. I can initiate a kiss too."

It was silly really. She had been slightly shaken by Shane's kiss. In an effort to balance it out, and give herself a less stressful memory, she left him with the chaste kiss. He smiled as he placed his hand on his cheek, making Beth wonder if he had ever received one before.

Maggie seemed to have calmed down a bit as Beth continued drinking her rum-free ice tea.

"Do I need to worry about you baby sister?"

Beth looked at her sister before turning her attention to her nephews.

"No, you don't." she said as she stood up. "Don't worry Maggie. I've got this." She smiled as she ran to the boys, feeling the cool water sprinkle at her bare feet.

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

Sunday morning, Beth woke up with a bit of a headache, but a cold glass of water and a banana quickly fixed her up. As she put on some loose capris and a red tank top, she processed her previous conversation with Maggie and Sasha. Having said those things out loud made her more aware of the doubts she had been feeling during the past week in regards to Shane. Then again, she was relatively new with relationships, so she didn't know how valid her concerns should be.

Beth had been a late bloomer when it game to romance. Jimmy was her first real boyfriend, someone she had started dating during her sophomore year of college, although she had known him throughout her childhood. She was sure he was the love of her life, something that became more real to her when she lost her virginity to him. Both had attended the same college, but Jimmy decided to transfer out of state after a year, so their sweet romance slowly dissolved with the distance and time. She met Zach a few years later. She had a lot of fun with him, and their relationship could have lasted longer, but after the death of her mother, Zach froze her out, not knowing how to handle a grieving girlfriend. It was for the best she had decided. Beth realized later in life that she had only been with Zach because she was lonely, a mistake she would not make again.

But isn't that what you're kind of doing right now? Beth froze at that thought.

She shook her head as she put on her black chucks. Beth was a lot stronger now, emotionally. She was also more confident. She could honestly say she trusted herself, and was in a healthier state in her life. She would never put herself in a bad situation, or even a situation that would make her uncomfortable. She wasn't going to dismiss this thought, however. She was just going to see where things went with Shane. Because that's what grown-ups did.

An hour later, Beth was pulling into the makeshift parking lot near the county library. As she got out, the exquisite smell of fruit and honey filled Beth's senses, and she wondered why she hadn't come to the famous Kings County Farmers Market more frequently. With a few text messages, Beth quickly found Sasha, Tara, and Amy in front of a citrus stand.

"Hi Beth, I'm glad you could make it" even though she had just seen Sasha the day before, she was happy to see her friend again.

"You bet! You made this sound so great, how could I not. I really should come out here more often."

"Us too" Amy gestured to herself and Tara as she placed some lemons into her tote bag. "We're getting to be that boring couple that only lounge on the couch and watch TV on the weekends. It's nice to leave the house." Amy walked up to the merchant and paid for her stuff. Tara laughed as she turned to her friends "I don't know what she's talking about. Going to a farmers market on the weekend? See, we can be spontaneous." She commented as she walked up to join Amy.

Beth smiled as she walked to the following stand, Sasha close behind. "I can't wait to be in a boring relationship" Beth sighed as she picked up a ripe mango and brought it to her nose.

"With Shane?" Sasha asked, watching her closely.

Beth grimaced before shrugging and putting the mango back.

Sign 1: not thinking about him in your future.

"I know you don't believe it right now, but you will find that someone to be bored with. It'll happen before you know it" Sasha smiled as she placed her arm around her.

"What will happen?" Amy and Tara joined them.

"Beth will find her soul mate" Sasha answered with a grin "And they will be boring together."

"Oh, no doubt about that." Tara winked at her friend. Beth would have been a fool not to believe her.

After a couple of hours of walking around and enjoying each other's company, the four women found themselves sitting on a bench eating shaved ice treats that Beth had treated them to.

"I can't believe I've lived here close to ten years, and never been out here before." She marveled out loud as she took another spoonful of cherry ice.

"I like coming here more for the environment" Sasha responded looking around. "Shopping outside in the open air. What's not to like?"

"Plus it's great to come and people watch." Tara added "The most earthy and interesting people tend to flock here."

Beth perked up at those words. A beautiful Sunday morning. Fresh produce, open air, nothing but nature around us. Nothing else going on in this sleepy town. She stood up and started scanning the market. It was quite a few blocks wide, stretching out across a mile of the down town shopping area. Still, she felt sure she'd find what she was looking for.

"You okay Beth?" Tara looked up at her from her seat. Beth walked a few steps forward and spotted a familiar blur of shaggy brown hair. She immediately giggled and turned to her friends.

"I'll be right back ladies" she put the remainder of her shaved ice down and walked in his direction. "Is she okay? Did you see how red she got?" she heard Amy tell Tara as she walked away. Yep, she knew she was beet red. She just hoped it cleared by the time she reached him.

"I knew it!" She cried out as she got within arms distance. Daryl quickly turned around, a look of shock and then amusement as realization set in.

"I knew you'd be here!" she smiled triumphantly at him as she looked behind him and saw what stand he was at. "I mean, I didn't know you'd be at this exact location here," she reached for a jar of strawberry rhubarb jam. He chuckled as he took the jam from her hands.

"Careful girl. I've seen how clumsy you are." She playfully punched him in the arm, and was rewarded with his laugh. He put the jar back in its place and stepped back to watch her closely. Beth couldn't stop herself from properly looking at him as well. He was wearing a tan short sleeved button down shirt and baggy jeans. Usually when she saw him he was in professor mode, so it was nice to see him outside of that environment. She hoped he was thinking the same thing.

"So you come here often?" she asked as he waved goodbye to the merchant and started walking towards the produce.

"Yeah, I suppose. I'm here about twice a month." She liked that he looked at her when he spoke; it allowed her to take in his features and reinforce the fact that he was incredibly handsome. "You?"

She shook her head "No, this is my first time. I'm here with some friends" at that moment she turned in the direction of the girls, who just so happened to be staring back at her. Sasha and Tara quickly turned away once they were caught, but Amy kept staring, grinning widely at them. Luckily, Daryl was still watching her so she could at least save herself from that embarrassment.

"I should probably get back to them. I just wanted to say hi." She smiled at him. Even though she was the one who approached him, she couldn't stop the familiar fluttering sensation in her tummy.

"I'm glad you did" he smiled back, and that warming sensation came back to her face.

"I'll see you Monday?" he asked, finally looking down at his bag full of produce.

She nodded. "You bet. Bye Professor Dixon."

"Goodbye Baker Beth." He grinned as he walked away.

She stood there dumbfounded as she watched him leave.

Sign 2: Swooning more over Daryl's nickname for me, then when Shane calls me gorgeous.

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

It was probably guilt that had made Beth rush home and start baking. She washed and pealed the peaches she had purchased and began work on some mini-peach cobblers. She kept the dough cold so that she could pop them in the oven early the following morning and have fresh pies to take to work.

She was determined to get Shane to try one of her pastries. It was of great urgency now. She left for work earlier than usual but didn't mind. It was worth it to have the strong smell of warm cobbler to accompany her on her drive to work. She parked in the campus security lot, figuring that the odds of her getting ticketed there were probably low considering who she was dating. Besides, she liked being a little bit of a rebel.

"Morning Rosita" she smiled as she walked up. "Is Shane in yet?" Rosita looked at her with a bored expression on her face. She was obviously not a morning person. "Yeah, hold on a sec." She went to go get him as Beth placed the warm cobbler on the lobby desk. She busied herself reading a copy of the year's campus crime report when she heard the familiar steps walk up to her. "Hey there gorgeous" his masculine voice filled the lobby. "What brings you here so early?"

"I brought you a pie" she said. That's pretty direct and to the point.

"Oh" he looked down, not sure what to say. "It's small"

Rosita laughed as she watched the couple interact. It was a pretty awkward and stilted conversation. Sign 3?

"Yes, it is. It's mini-peach cobbler. If you like it, I have three more in the car" she smiled.

"I'll have it if you don't want it" Rosita interrupted as she took her place back behind the counter.

"No, it's not that I don't want it. I'm just not a fan of sweets" he looked at Beth unapologetically.

"You don't like sweets?" Beth couldn't comprehend what that meant. Who didn't like sweets?

"Well, some sweets are okay." He grinned wickedly at her as he leaned forward. Both Rosita and Beth groaned out loud, and Shane at least had the decency of looking embarrassed.

"Do you like sweets?" Beth looked at Rosita who was currently filing her nails.

"Uh, yes! Yes I do." Beth slid the pie in her direction, and Rosita quickly jumped out of her chair and grabbed it. "Awesome, I'm taking my break now" she said over her shoulder as she walked towards the back offices.

Beth chuckled as she watched her go and then turned to Shane. "What am I going to do now, Shane? You don't like sweets? That's kind of my specialty."

"I wouldn't worry about that Beth. I'm sure you'll figure it out" he said, grinning wider. She scoffed and rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, okay." She said as she started to walk backwards towards the door. He shook his head and followed her out, holding the door open for her.

"I'll call you later" he leaned and whispered into her ear. Beth shrugged and turned to look at him "If you'd like" she responded, hoping her indifference would bother him. "I'll be having lunch with Daryl later today, so maybe you can call me after." That should do it.

Instead of being bothered, however, he leaned further down to kiss her. Beth put her hand in his face and stopped him before he was able to make contact.

"No, no kiss" she declared taking her hand down and walking out in front of him.

She turned to look at him, and was relieved to finally see a look of shock.

She waved and turned towards her car.

"You don't get to choose which sweets you get."

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

She couldn't help it. As soon as she got back to the library, she pulled Tara into her office and debriefed. Even though she wanted her honest opinion, Beth couldn't help but enjoy all the exaggerated features her friend made as she retold her morning's events.

From disgust, to amusement, to anger, and finally pride for her friend, Tara's face told her everything she needed to know.

"Yes! Ha ha ha, yes! Bad-ass baby-girl Beth. You are my hero!" Tara clapping enthusiastically by the time Beth had finished.

"You sure I wasn't being too sensitive?" Beth almost whispered it.

"Friend, no." She stepped in front Beth to emphasize her point. "Beth, you are not a sensitive person. You a have a good head on your shoulders never doubt that. You are justified in every feeling you ever feel."

Beth smiled. She knew it, but it was nice to hear it from someone else.

"Besides," Tara continued "It's good for men like Shane to get dropped down a few notches. If you choose to continue this relationship, you'll be good for him."

Beth sighed. "I don't know if that's what I want."

Sign 4.

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

"Baker Beth." He greeted her as he sat down at his usual spot.

"Professor Dixon." She greeted in return. She took a bite of her sandwich as she forced herself not to look in his direction. She was trying to think logic thoughts, trying to sort things out. It didn't help when she had Mr. Blue sitting so closely to her. She smiled fondly as she remembered her old moniker for him.

I'm justified in every feeling I feel Beth reminded herself as she took another bite.

"I got you something." Daryl reached over and pulled out a small brown paper bag. He handed it to her as if it wasn't a big deal. She looked at him before taking it from his hands, not sure how to respond.

"Daryl, thank you." She practically gasped, taken completely aback by his actions.

"Don't thank me yet. It's nothing really." He said as he lit the cigarette already in his mouth.

Beth looked at the bag for a short while before pulling out its contents. It was a small bottle of pear-honey jam. Beth recognized the label from the farmer's market booth she had seen Daryl at.

"This is supposed to taste good on all sorts of baked goods. Since you've been treating me for a while, I figured it was time I repaid the favor."

She turned the small glass jar in her hand, completely at a loss as to what to say. She looked up at him, and saw him give her that half smile of his that she had grown so fond of. "Or maybe it's my subtle way of asking for more goods." He chuckled at his own joke.

Before she could process what she was doing, she leaned over and wrapped her arms around him in a hug. An awkward, self-conscious hug, but a hug all the same. He had just reached for the cigarette in his mouth when Beth had enveloped him, essentially trapping him in that pose. She didn't let go even when she felt him bring his arm from under her, and gently grip his hand on her elbow. "Thank you." She said as she felt his chest against her cheek. "Daryl, thank you."

She pulled back and looked at him. He was looking over her head before looking back at her "It's nothing." He shrugged, standing up and putting out the cigarette with his shoe. Beth looked at her jar again and smiled. She put the jar bag in the bag, and stood up as well. Daryl was still looking over Beth's shoulders, causing Beth to turn and look in the direction Daryl had been staring.

"The fuck is that guy staring at?" He grumbled as Beth turned to face him again.

"Probably us." Beth shrugged, not feeling a single care in the world.

Sign 5

She sighed and turned around towards the figure again.

"That's Shane, my sort of boyfriend." She sighed as Shane made his way towards both of them.

Well this just got even more interesting.


	15. I Am the Wafer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes!!! I've finally figured out the Ao3 Formatting thing. Sorry about earlier chapters. When I'm able to, I'll go back and reformat. Sorry gentle readers, I'm new to all of this!

“Sort of boyfriend?” Beth thought she heard Daryl mutter under his breath, a habit of his that she was beginning to pick up on. She thinks she sees a flash of disappointment in his eyes as he turned to stare at Shane.

Maybe she was hoping it.

Beth mentally shrugged as she mirrored Daryl and turned to watch Shane, silently counting down the seconds to their inevitable introduction.

It was probably the last thing she should have been concerned about at that moment, but Beth couldn’t help but feel conflicted. _Exactly whose side am I on?_

She took a few steps towards Shane before stopping and turning back to Daryl. She wished she wasn’t so damn naïve in regards to the opposite sex. She wanted to know what he was thinking. She turned to look at Shane who had the same blank expression on his face. She wanted to know what he was thinking too.

_Oookay, this may just be a little awkward_

“Hey” she smiled as Shane got within arms distance.

“Beth” he answered, though his eyes remained focused on Daryl. She unconsciously moved between both men, thinking it would be the safest for all of them. It was silly, really. Both men stood a good feet and a half taller than she did, so Beth wasn’t really protecting anybody.

Both men glared at each other, Daryl watching Shane through hooded eyes, while Shane scanned Daryl up and down.  Daryl had his arms crossed, almost as if bored, whereas Shane had the classic officer stance down, both thumbs hooked on his belt, shoulders back.

“This is my friend.”  Beth gestured towards Daryl as she turned slightly to her right, putting both men on either side of her. Shane referenced Beth for a second before looking back to Daryl. After what seemed like an eternity, Shane stretched out his hand.

“I’m Shane, Beth’s lover.” He said as means of introduction. Beth frowned at him but he was not paying any attention to her. She turned to Daryl and found his eyes were already on her. He had obviously seen her reaction.

After a few more seconds he took Shane’s hand.

“Daryl.”

Shane gave a half chuckle and let go of Daryl’s hand. “Just Daryl?”

“Just Daryl” Daryl repeated “I don’t need a label, Beth knows me well enough without one.”

Beth laughed nervously. _Dear Lord, what is happening?_

Feeling the need to stand up for him, Beth turned to Shane. “Daryl is a professor in the science department” she looked between both men, but neither looked at her.

“And Shane,” she continued as she turned to Daryl “is the head officer of campus security.”

_And_ _not my lover_ she wanted to add.

“I’m surprised Beth hadn’t mentioned me before” Shane still hadn’t referenced Beth, and that possibly upset her more than the lover reference.

Daryl shrugged as he reached for another cigarette. “Beth doesn’t owe me anything. She’s free to decide what or whom she chooses to mention.”

A voice deep inside of Beth perked up at this comment. It was the same voice that had been picking up several red flags that the still-insecure part of her refused to acknowledge. _Isn’t it supposed to be Shane who defends me?_

Shane continued his stance, no real indication that Daryl had hit a nerve.

“Well Daryl, it’s awful nice of you to keep my girl company” Shane carried on, ignoring Daryl’s comment.

“She’s the one giving me company.” Daryl responded roughly.

She looked at Shane and saw that he had begun chewing the inside of his cheeks, finally showing signs of agitation.   _This isn’t going the way he wants._ Beth realized as she observed him.

At that moment she realized that neither men were ever going to be friends. She would just have to sort out what it all meant to her at a later point. Right now she knew she had to put a stop to this. It was unfair to subject Daryl to Shane any minute longer.

“Okay, I think my break is over.” Beth reached down to pick up her bag and saw that both men continued to leer at each other. She sighed and turned to Daryl “Thank you so much for the jam, it was lovely.” She smiled and was rewarded with a smile back. 

She turned to look at Shane “Want to walk me back to the library?” _So I can get you the hell away from Daryl?_

“You go on ahead, I’ll meet you later.” Shane responded, keeping his eyes on Daryl.

“You should never turn down an invitation from a woman like Beth,” Daryl stated, voice low and almost threatening. “Especially when the woman is, how did you put it? A lover.” Daryl grinned as he said the last part, and at that moment Beth knew Daryl hadn’t believed him.

She was so busy admiring Daryl at that moment that she hadn’t noticed Shane taking a step in his direction. “Why don’t you stay out of it, professor.” Now it was Shane’s voice which held the threatening tone, one that made Beth’s heart race.

“You’re the one who came and interrupted us, officer” Daryl growled back

“It didn’t look like I was interrupting much of anything.”

“Then I guess you weren’t paying attention” retorted Daryl

Beth was genuinely surprised at Shane’s comment. Hadn’t he seen their hug? Or had that somehow escaped him. If he had missed that exchange then why was Shane being such a jerk?  Beth then realized that both meant had closed the distance between them. She had to put a stop to this quickly before things got really ugly. It was bad enough that some of the lunch regulars were starting to look in their direction.

_Come on Greene, these are the guests you invited to your Beth Party. Do something._

“Oh my god, are you two done?” She was surprised by her tone as she swung her shoulder back strap over her head and grabbed Shane’s hand.

“Daryl, I’ll see you tomorrow, okay? Come on Shane, you’re walking your _lover_ back to the office.” She made sure to emphasize that word as she pulled him away in the direction of the library.

“It was great meeting you, Officer Shane” Daryl called out as they walked away. Shane immediately stopped and turned around, but Beth kept her hand on his and continued pulling him away. Her heart was pounding as she walked away, angry at herself for allowing the situation to get to where it did. Almost immediately she forgave herself as she realized their behaviors were completely out of her control. 

Both were quiet on the way back. Beth trying to replay every second, and Shane, well, who knew what the hell Shane was thinking.

By the time they reached the front door of the library Beth turned to look at him and was surprised to see he looked exactly as he always did, no signs of distress anywhere.

She let go of his hand and was about to tell him goodbye before he interrupted. “That is not what I expected” he half laughed as he ran his hand through his hair.

“What do you mean?” Beth asked, dreading his response.

“When you said you had a friend named Daryl,” he laughed again as he shook his head “I was expecting some scrawny redneck in suspenders.”

She glared at him before she spoke “And not a respected Professor of Ecology and Sustainability?” Beth asked slowly, feeling the anger rise in her gut.

“Oh, he’s respected is he?”

Beth slowly shook her head and turned around “I better get in before Patricia adds more things to my inbox” she called over her shoulders. She really didn’t want to see him right now “I’ll call you later” she added seconds before the door closed behind her.

* * *

Beth understood she was fairly new with grown-up relationships. But she was pretty sure that in any type of relationships, you had to at least  _like_ the person you were dating. Beth opted to take the stairs rather than the elevator back to her office, giving her more time to process. She barely heard Patricia scold her for being back so early and not taking her full hour of lunch. Beth assured her that she wouldn’t work more than her eight hours that day as she walked past her.

After an hour she was surprised by how much work she had managed to get done considering her eventful lunch. After she submitted the final UPC number for the agriculture textbook orders, she turned off her monitor. Beth closed her eyes and remembered the interaction between Daryl and Shane. Before she realized it, she had started to cry.

“Yes!” She heard Tara before she actually saw her “Patricia is going into a meeting with the dean so we will have a full hour before-‘’

She froze as she saw Beth sitting and quietly sobbing at her desk.

“Oh my God Beth, what’s wrong?” She quickly rushed to Beth’s side and pulled her into an embrace. “What’s wrong friend?” Tara ran her fingers down Beth’s hair in a soothing gesture, trying to figure out what else to say.

“I don’t know” Beth softly gasped, trying to figure out what was going on with her.

“Okay,” Tara continued stroking Beth’s hair. “Let’s try to figure it out.” Tara pulled back and sat on the floor in front of her.

Beth nodded as she used her hands to wipe her face. She closed her eyes and inhaled deep.

_5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Breathe._

“Shane met Daryl.” Beth opened her eyes and almost laughed. Tara’s mouth had fallen open, and she held an expression that could either be described as horror or disgust. Tara quickly shut her mouth and shook her head. “Go on,” she encouraged Beth.

Beth went onto describe in as much detail the standoff between both men. Well, mostly Shane’s behaviors and Daryl’s reactions to him.

“So, as you can see” Beth blew her nose as she finished telling the story “it was a bit of an awkward lunch, and I honestly don’t know why I’m reacting this way.”

 “That must have been very uncomfortable.” Tara reasoned “And Daryl’s your friend.”

“Yeah and Shane…” Beth began

“Oh Shane can go blow himself!” Tara interrupted. “Really, is he so insecure that he felt the need to whip it out and measure it for the both of you?”

“Oh my God Tara!” Beth brought her hands to her face and started laughing. She could always, always, depend on her friend.

“Hey,” she reached out and patted Beth’s knee “I made you laugh just now.” She winked at her.

“Tara, what am I going to do?”

“I can’t answer that Beth” she took Beth’s hands in hers again and held her gaze. “However, I suspect you already know what to do.”

Beth squeezed Tara’s hands. “I don’t think I like Shane anymore.” She whispered.

“I don’t think you do either” Tara whispered back.

* * *

It was 5:13pm, and Beth had no desire to go home. She slowly packed her stuff and made her way out of the library. Rather than heading towards the parking lot, Beth made her way to her favorite bench and decided it was as good a time as any to spend some quality time with the ducks.

“Hey friends, mind if I join you?” she asked a small flock that had been resting nearby. She remembered the uneaten wafers she had from lunch, and promptly took them out and threw them to the ducks. Two of them went scampering after a particularly large piece, one with a dark blue streak across its head, the other a dark tan one. Beth watched both ducks fight humorously over the wafer, and for whatever reason it reminded her of the Shane and Daryl showdown from hours ago.

_I am the wafer_ Beth thought as the blue streaked duck successfully snatched the wafer and waddled back to the water.

“Hello gorgeous” the familiar voice came from the right. That term of endearment use to make her feel uncomfortable because she had been so insecure, she didn’t believe anyone would ever think that about her. Now the discomfort was over something different.

She turned and saw Shane approach her, a big smile on his face. He leaned over and gave her a kiss on the cheek, and Beth had to stop herself from crying again.

She knew what she had to do at that moment.

And it sucked.

“Hi Shane” she greeted in return as he sat down next to her.

“These damn ducks, always wanting to be fed” he shooed a duck away that was hoping to get some food from him.

She turned and looked at him for a while. When he finally looked back, the grin he had been wearing slowly began to fade, and a look of concern began to take its place.

“You don’t like the ducks?” she asked softly, almost as if she was giving him one last chance.

He didn’t respond, just continued to stare at her.

She took a deep breath and looked back to the water.

_Be honest. Be brave. Be strong._

“Shane, I really didn’t like the way you treated my friend earlier today.”

“Who, Daryl?” Beth nodded slowly. He cursed under his breath and brought his hands to his head. He leaned back, stretching his right leg in front of him.

“And it makes me sad that you seem pretty dismissive of my feelings and the stuff I try to make for you.”

He turned and looked at her again. “You mean your pies?”

She nodded again, trying not to be hurt by his tone.

_Be honest._

“I can’t help but think that if you’re going to be so passive about something as small as that,” she continued “then who knows what other things you’ll be passive about later.” She looked down at her hands, proud to see they weren’t shaking.

He stood, hands still splayed on his head as he walked towards the water.

“It’s probably best if we just…” she didn’t know how to finish that sentence.

_End this before we get too invested?_

_Go our separate ways?_

_Wish each other the best and say goodbye?_

As she continued to struggle for the words, Shane turned around and approached her. He took her hands and knelt in front of her. She stared at their hands, too afraid to look up.

“Beth?” He whispered, forcing her to meet his eyes.

He gave her a small smile and leaned into her ear “Its okay.” He gave her a small peck on her cheek before turning and walking away.

* * *

 

She sat there for a few minutes longer struggling to identify the emotions taking over. It was a strange mixture of confusion, relief, and sadness. She didn’t think it was even possible to have all those at once, but only having one feeling didn’t seem right either.

Eventually she stood up and brushed off the wafer crumbs from her skirt. She reached down and took her bag and slowly made the walk towards her car, feeling incredibly tired and looking forward to her jammies and bed.

As she began practicing the conversation she would surely be having with Maggie when she called her later that evening, Beth stopped dead in her tracks as a new feeling took over. Not Confusion, or relief, or sadness.

Absolute certainty.

At that moment, Beth knew without a shadow of a doubt that everything would be okay.

Holding on to that feeling for a few moments longer, she turned around and looked behind her. Roughly fifty feet away stood Daryl Dixon, a look of surprise etched on his face.

_Be brave._

_S_ he tentatively smiled and raised her hand. He smiled in return and waved back. Beth lowered her hand and closed her eyes. There will be time to build new relationships. There will be time to continue her path of self-discovery. She was still Beth, and there was still time to grow.

No need to force anything just yet. She was just going to let things play out.

She turned around and walked towards her car.

_Be strong._


	16. An Invisible Piano

She was trying really hard to stay between the lines. Charlie had made Beth promise to color Hulk perfectly, otherwise he would get mad at her, and Beth wouldn’t like him when he’s mad.

Charlie was currently sitting on her lap watching her color, completely focused on the superhero in front of them. Maggie was sitting across from them, busy with her own page, quietly humming the Spiderman theme as she went.

“What color should his pants be, Chuck?” Beth whispered softly in his ear, squeezing him in a backside hug.

“They should be brown Aunt Bethy, duh” he replied reaching for the crayon.

If there was anything that was going to cheer Beth up after her eventful week, it was hanging out with the Rhee family. That never failed to do the trick.

“Don’t you feel so much better now?” Maggie asked, still focusing on her page. Maggie still had that uncanny ability to read her thoughts.

“Absolutely” Beth answered as she turned her page slightly to get a better angle.

They continued their work quietly, listening to the soft sound of wax scratching on paper.

“There, all done Chuck.” She held up the picture in front of both of them “what do you think?”

“It’s perfect Aunt Bethy.” He quickly jumped off of Beth’s lap and went running to his room, undoubtedly to tape the picture up on his bedroom wall. Beth smiled as she watched him go, missing those simple days of her youth when all it took was a finished drawing to brighten her day.

She leaned on the table placing her chin on her hand “Be honest with me, Mags. Was I being too hard on him? Was I wrong in breaking up with him just like that?”

Maggie kept coloring as she shrugged “That’s not up to me to answer for you Beth.”

She reached out and took her sister’s hand still focused on her picture “You’re a smart girl, and if his actions led you to break up with him, then I guess you did what was right for you.” Maggie put her crayon down and looked up.

“Besides, it’s not like you broke up with him because you didn’t like his earlobes or something like that. He hurt your feelings, and that’s that. There is no right or wrong there.”

Beth squeezed her hand before letting go and picking up the crayon Maggie had just put down.   
“I know.” She said as she started to scribble random circles on a new sheet.

“And now,” Maggie continued sitting back in the chair “now you know what to look for in a relationship. You’ll be able to recognize the signs better because of your time with Shane.”

Beth nodded as she looked at her circles. This whole experience had taught her a lot, and for that she supposed she could be grateful.

“I guess now I know I don’t like tough guys” Beth shrugged. “Big, authoritative, manly-man types”

Maggie smiled “See little sister, that’s where you and I are different. ‘Cause right there, you just described my type of man.”

Almost as if on cue, Glenn walked into the kitchen

“Michael I told you, I’d get that ball down when I could” he said as he went to the refrigerator.

“But dad, the ball has been stuck up there forever. I want it now!” Muck squealed.

“I told you, I can’t get it down until Tyreese brings my ladder back” Glenn argued.

Beth turned to her sister and saw Maggie dramatically fanning herself as she stared at her husband. She looked at Beth and mouthed the word “oh yeah” as she turned back to Glenn. Beth had to put her hand in her mouth to keep from laughing.

“Well call him now!” Michael demanded causing an obviously annoyed Glenn to turn around.

“No Michael I’m not going to call him. Besides, I’m reading the new Captain America so I’m a bit busy. Now, do you still want this juice box or what?”

Maggie had put her index finger to her mouth and bit it in mock arousal as she continued to stare at Glenn, and Beth had to look down at the table to keep from completely cracking up. It didn’t work for long, because after a few seconds she started laughing so hard that she was gasping for air.

Glenn finally turned to the girls “Did I miss something?” he asked innocently as he looked between Maggie and Beth.

“Oh baby, you are such a turn on” Maggie said as she got up and pressed a big kiss on Glenn’s lips, surprising and causing him to step back a few feet.

“Ew gross. Charlie, mom and dad are kissing again” Michael grabbed the juice box from Glenn’s hand and ran out of the kitchen. Beth was finally able to calm down and take a deep breath when Maggie let go of Glenn, who had a look of both humor and confusion sprawled on his face.

“You need to quit it with the wine, ladies” Glenn exhaled as he walked out, following his boys.

Maggie kept smiling at him as she sat down at the table again. She turned to Beth and did a little shoulder dance before continuing with her coloring.

Beth sighed really deep and leaned back in her chair “You know Mags, there is something I’m grateful for, in terms of Shane I mean.”

“What’s that?”

“Early on, I made some comment to him about how I was a really shy, and the response he gave me was pretty great. He said he didn’t believe me for a second. He said I was a strong, confident woman, and that was what had attracted him to me in the first place.” Beth closed her eyes and remembered the conversation.

 _“How you going to say you’re shy and insecure, Beth?”_ he had told her _“You came into the building, looked me straight in the eye, and pretty much asked me out. There was nothing shy or insecure about that girl.”_

Maggie was looking intently on her, a small smile on her face “Did you feel confident?”

She thought about it for a second. “I did” she realized.

“Well then, that’s another thing you can add to your list of important traits in a man. Someone who will make you feel confident.”

Beth smiled and continued scribbling on her page.

“Although if you ask me,” Maggie continued “I don’t think you really need a man for that anymore.”

* * *

 

Another positive thing about being newly single that Beth came to appreciate was how her friends gathered around her to try and cheer her up. Beth was actually doing fine, but there was no way she was going to turn down pizza and hanging out with the girls.

She made it to Amy and Tara’s apartment and managed to open their door while simultaneously carrying two pizzas and a dozen chocolate chip cookies, Amy’s favorite.

“Hey Beth, let me help you with that” Tara came out and took the cookies from her, leaving Beth carrying the large pizza boxes

“Thanks Tara…” she mumbled as Amy came out laughing, taking a pizza box from her.

“It’s because she knows I won’t be sharing those cookies with her once I get my hands on them” Amy explained while they walked into the small apartment kitchen.

“Why do I always get mixed up in your lover’s quarrels?” Beth asked as she opened a box and took out a slice.

“Because you’re the honorary third girlfriend” Tara called from the living room, making herself comfortable on the floor.

As Amy got the paper plates and cups out, Beth kept turning in the direction of the guest bedroom. She knew she was going to have to eventually confront this. It was just part of the process, the last piece of the puzzle that kept her from moving forward.

 “Is Andrea home?” she asked Amy as she followed her to the living room.

“No, she’s working her side job. No clue when she’ll be back”

Amy had brought one of the pizzas into the living room and placed it on the floor between them. They had decided to have a girl’s night in, pizza, cookies, and beer, complete with a movie that was entertaining enough to hold their attention, but not so much that it would distract them from just hanging out and talking.

Beth leaned back against the sofa as Tara scrolled down the television screen, looking for something to watch.

“Okay, can we all agree to watch something from the early 90s? You can never go wrong with something from that decade.” The three of them agreed as Beth reached for her beer.

She frowned as she looked at the light blue can “Watermelon beer?”

“It’s really good, you’ll like it” Amy encouraged as she reached for her second slice of pizza.

“Sleepless in Seattle?” Tara asked.

“Too depressing.” Beth said after taking a big gulp.

Both Amy and Tara stared at her.

“What?” Beth suddenly felt defensive “The kid’s mom dies of cancer within the first minute. Plus, I’m not ready for a romance movie yet. Pass!”

“Okay, no romance and no death” Tara turned back to the screen and kept scrolling.

“Oh, stop! There, that one.” Amy pointed to the screen “There’s a little bit of romance, and a little bit of death, but both are done in the name of comedy.”

Beth leaned forward towards the screen to see what Amy had chosen.

“Robin Hood: Men in Tights?” Tara scolded

“Yes, it’s a classic. It gets my vote.”

“I second it” Beth mumbled, mouth full of food.

“You two are strange.” Tara acquiesced as she pressed play and reached for her food.

The title hadn’t come up on the screen yet when they heard the front door open. Beth felt a little light headed and her heart began to pound loudly, which she wasn’t ready to blame entirely on the beer.

“Hello ladies” Andrea announced as she practically ran into her room. Tara and Amy exchanged a quick look before both turning to Beth.

Beth smiled awkwardly and took another bite. Then she took another sip of her watermelon beer. That wasn’t enough. She took a gulp.

Less than five minutes later Andrea emerged, newly changed, brushing her hair as she made her way towards the pizza.

“Don’t wait up for me. I’ve got another date with my hot professor tonight” she exclaimed as she reached for a slice.

Amy rolled her eyes, as Tara looked over at Beth. Beth met her eyes and shrugged slightly.

“Well,” Amy said as she swatted Tara’s hand away from the food “make sure you tell Daryl that Beth sends her love.”

Beth turned to her and tried to give her a dirty look. Andrea, for her part, swatted Amy’s hand back and got a slice. She smiled at Beth and made her way out the door.

Beth closed her eyes and leaned back in the seat again, hearing the merry men rapping from the television, wishing she could just click a button and feel nothing.

The front door opened again, and Andrea’s head popped in “Wait, what did you say?” she focused on Amy.

“I said,” Amy attempted an exasperated tone “tell Daryl that Beth says hi.”

Andrea shook her head “Who’s Daryl?”

All three girls quickly turned to look at her, Amy slowly raising a cookie to her mouth.

“The professor your dating” Amy said as she took a bite of the cookie.

 “I’m dating Phillip. Who’s Daryl?” Andrea had stepped all the way into the apartment by then.

“Who’s Phillip?” Tara asked.

“The science professor I’m dating. Who. Is. Daryl?” she walked slowly towards the girls, clearly a little amused by this point. Beth put both her hands to her face as she felt herself growing red.

“The science professor you’re dating is named Phillip? I thought it was Daryl.” Amy stood and walked to her room.

“You’re really going to make me ask who that is again, aren’t you?” Andrea called out after her sister before turning and looking between Beth and Tara.

Amy came back moments later with a copy of the previous year’s school catalogue.

“When you said you were going out with a science professor from your department, you said it was this guy” she opened the catalogue to one that had clearly been marked and handed it to Andrea.

Beth was able to glimpse a bit of it as it was handed over. It was a picture of Daryl in front of a group of students, obviously some advertisement for the science department.

 “Not that one, genius” Andrea’s accent came out strong. She pointed to the bottom right of that same page and handed it back to Amy “That one. Professor Phillip Blake”

“Oh,” Amy pouted as she looked down.

“Him?” She looked at her sister and Andrea responded with a smack to her shoulder.

“Daryl is cuter” Amy said as she went back to the floor and showed Tara.

“Oh yes, much cuter.” Tara agreed and turned to Beth “Beth wins when it comes to choosing science professors.”

“Wait, you’re talking about Daryl Dixon!” Andrea exclaimed as she finally made the connection. She dropped her purse on the couch and went around sitting next to Beth. She took her phone from her back pocket and started texting immediately.

“What are you doing?” Beth panicked as she reached for Andrea’s phone.

“Relax, I’m just telling Phillip that I’m going to be late” she said as she typed. She put the phone down and reached for a beer.

“I want to hear all about this.” She shook Beth’s shoulder lightly. “It sounds like it’s gonna be a great story”

Beth smiled wide as she saw how excited Andrea was. She turned to look at her friends who were both  smiling as well, Amy leaning her head on Tara’s shoulder, encouraging her to talk. Beth shook her head and reached for the remote, raising the volume of the television, deciding to get lost in the movie instead.

* * *

The heat was getting to be too much these days, yet Beth could not stay away from her little piece of green once the lunch hour arrived. She got to her spot, grateful for the shade under the tree providing enough cool to make it bearable. She leaned back all the way and felt the soft grass tickle her back.  She placed her right arm over her eyes, palm facing up, and focused on all the noises around her.

July was right around the corner, and the campus had grown quiet and slowed down some. There were very little faculty and students around, something that didn’t bother Beth in the least.

She sensed Daryl approaching her, knew it was him before he fully arrived. She wondered if she would ever get over the initial shyness she always felt when he came by. She didn’t remove her arm or sit up; she just continued to lie there. She was too comfortable, and wanted to enjoy the quite. She also wanted to get to know him better.

Beth knew what he looked like, was starting to learn his mannerisms, and could distinguish the sound of his voice. But now she wanted to learn what he sounded like when he moved, how he affected her surroundings, experience a different level of recognition.

She remained still as she heard his steps walk up to her. She heard him stop for a second, and then continue again before he reached her.  She felt and heard a small thump by her head as he placed his pack down. She heard the way the air moved slightly as he lowered his body, as his hand made contact with the grass next to her, and as he settled all the way to the ground. She heard the sound of him fussing with his pocket, the unmistakable sound of him pulling out a cigarette from its box, and the click of his lighter.

She moved her fingers gently, as if playing the keys to an invisible piano, giving him a sign that she was awake and present. Her left arm was splayed across her stomach, those fingers mirroring the motions of her right. If she concentrated hard, she knew she’d figure out what song her fingers were playing.

 “I’m sorry Beth.” He said after a few minutes of silence.

Beth stopped playing her song, frozen at his words.

“I wasn’t being very respectful to your man.” Beth slid her arm to the top of her head and turned towards his direction.

“It’s okay. He wasn’t being very respectful to you” she responded sadly, not taking her eyes off him.

“Doesn’t make it right.” He said as he turned to look away, picking at his slacks.

Beth sighed and slowly sat herself up.

“Daryl?”

He turned to look at her. She smiled at him and reached for the bottom of his sleeve, which he had folded up to his elbows. She pulled at it gently.

“It’s okay, I forgive you” she didn’t let go of his shirt until he looked down. She hadn’t realized that she was stroking her knuckles against his exposed skin. She quickly let go and felt herself blush. She pushed some loose hair behind her ears and focused on the grass in front of her.

“Besides,” she continued as she started playing with the grass “he was kind of a jerk.” She looked back at him “We’re not together anymore.” She smiled shyly before pulling on the grass again.

“Is that right?” he responded, a grin forming on his face.

She laughed as she saw it “Yeah, that’s right. Why you smiling Professor Dixon? Break-ups are a sad thing.”

He chuckled at that as he put out the cigarette beside him.

“Yeah, real sad.” He said as he turned to her, smile bigger than before.

She shook her head and rolled her eyes “Nice to know I have your sympathy.”

“I’ll only give you sympathy if you’re really sad about the whole thing.” He looked at her, daring her to respond. Instead she rolled her eyes again and looked away.

“Actually, don’t take this the wrong way, but I’m kind of glad for it. It makes what I’m about to ask less awkward now.” He looked at her and took a deep breath.

Beth felt her stomach do a flip, not sure what to expect.

“Carol” he said firmly.

Beth blinked and put her hand to her chest.

“Beth.” She said as if introducing herself for the first time.

“No,” he laughed, clearly a little embarrassed.

“Carol” he attempted again “It’s her birthday next week.”

Beth felt her hand close into a fist on her chest, felt her eyes beginning to water.

“Her mother and sister want to throw her a party of sorts. Well, more like a brunch really. It’s just an excuse for some of her family and friends to get together and remember her.”

Beth’s face lit up in a smile at that thought of that.

“I was wondering” he added slowly “if you wanted to come with me.”

“Yes” Beth answered without giving it any thought. “I would love to come.”

“Yeah?” She didn’t know why he would be so surprised.

Beth smiled and nodded in response.

“Well alright then” he smiled at her.

“Alright then” she responded.

Blue. That was the song she had been playing.


	17. Through the Trees

Beth guessed she'd been standing in front of her bathroom mirror for over twenty minutes. She alternated between getting ready and daydreaming about her afternoon with Daryl. He had told her that this would be a casual afternoon, so no need to get "fancied up." She decided on wearing jean capris and a flowly yellow floral blouse. Something about that color made her think of Carol, and she couldn't quite figure out why.

"I'm not nervous. This isn't a big deal" she told herself as she parted her hair in three sections at the crown of her head.

"This is not a big deal" she repeated as she finished her braid, tying the end at her side.

She walked out to her kitchen and tried to keep herself busy until Daryl arrived to pick her up, trying hard not to smile at that thought. She looked around and noticed the small pile of laundry on her sofa. She had considered cleaning up a bit, but decided against it, choosing to sleep in rather than clean. Besides, she had a feeling seeing her messy apartment wouldn't bother Daryl away. It wasn't as if she had a week's worth of dishes piled up…which she didn't anymore because she made sure to wash them the night before. Even still, he'd be there soon, so she figured a little pre-brunch cleaning might ease her nerves. She put the laundry in a basket and took it to her room trying, unsuccessfully, to keep her mind occupied on mundane things.

The second she walked into her bedroom, she heard a knock. Immediately, her heart started racing.

_5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Breathe._

She slowly walked back to her living room and walked up to the door. She took a deep breath and opened it.

"Hi Aunt Bethy!" Charlie greeted her, a huge smile on his face.

"Chuck?" Beth was confused "Maggie? Hey guys."

"Hello baby sister, how you doing?" Maggie walked in, Charlie firmly on her hip. Beth turned and followed them inside, scowling when Maggie sat herself comfortably on her couch.

"What are you two doing here?" Beth asked, honestly confused.

"Oh, I came to bring this back to you" Maggie handed Beth a plastic container missing its lid. Beth took it from Maggie and examined it closely

"This isn't mine" she spoke mostly to herself as she turned it over in her hand.

"You came all the way across town to…" it hit Beth the second she saw Maggie smiling.

"Maggie, are you insane? Get outta here!" Beth panicked as she realized her sister had arrived to see Daryl.

"Oh relax, Elizabeth." Maggie leaned back on the couch as she plopped Charlie right next to her. How was Beth supposed to relax? She was a hot mess at the moment, and having her older sister present to witness her freak out first hand was not helping.

"Ain't no harm done" Maggie smiled widely at her younger sister, clearly amused by her reaction.

Beth stomped her foot, clenched her fists, and looked up at the ceiling, embarrassed at the fact that she had just been reduced to a temper tantrum.

"I swear Maggie, so help me God…"

"Did I, um, come at a bad time?" Both women turned to the front door only to find Daryl standing there, one hand out in greeting, the other tucked in his front jean pocket.

_Must be why they keep us in the back…_

"Mommy, you forgot to close the door" Chuck scolded her "that's how strangers and weirdos get inside." Maggie wasn't paying attention however, she was too busy checking Daryl out top to bottom.

"Oh Chuck, the weirdos are already in here" she turned to Chuck and gave her sister a dirty look.

She turned back to Daryl "Not you." He smiled in response and took a tentative step inside.

"Wow Beth, not even going to invite him in, are you? How did mom fail you?"

Beth turned slowly to her again and mouthed a dirty word. It only made Maggie laugh more.

"So, I take it you're Maggie?" Daryl walked further in, stopping right next to Beth.

"Yes, hello. Nice to meet you Daryl-"

"-Daryl" his name overlapped with Maggie's as he attempted to introduce himself.

"I guess you already know my name" he chuckled as he let go of her hand. Both turned to look at Beth who was pinching her nose, too flustered to notice them staring.

"So we better take off." Maggie looked at her son as she stood "Chuck has gymnastics and we don't want to be late."

"Mommy, it's not gymnastics, its super hero training."

"Oh yes, sorry I forgot. They only call it that so they can charge more." Maggie tutted as she walked towards the door.

"So call me later Bethy, and let me know how it goes with that thing" she turned and directed her attention back to Daryl.

"It was sure nice meeting you Daryl. Hope to see you around."

He smiled and waved goodbye to her as Beth followed her out the door. She was about to say something to her but Maggie interrupted "You're welcome, Beth" she winked as she walked down the hall.

Beth stepped back inside her apartment and closed the door behind her.

"Siblings, right?" Daryl smirked when Beth finally got the nerve to look at him.

"Ah, so you get it?" Beth chuckled.

"Yeah. Merle was always…" he chuckled and shook his head almost as if whatever memory came up was too much.

"Let's just say, I'm glad he's clear across the state" he finished as he made eye contact. Beth smiled in return and turned to look at the clock.

11:17am

"So, I guess we should head out?" She shrugged, knowing that from that moment on he was taking the lead. And Beth was happy to follow.

* * *

 

She followed him out of the apartment building, holding the cake she had made, insisting that she could handle it on her own. Daryl protested but settled for holding all doors open for her, the most gentlemanly thing he could do (he had laughed at that comment when she made it). As they made their way into the street she followed him to his pickup, idly commenting about the beautiful day. There wasn't anything special about his truck; it was one of those basic Ford pickups from the late 1980s, yet it seemed to suit him well. As he went to open the passenger side, Beth noticed a few crates in the back filled with an assortment of flowers, she looked at him only to have him smile and wink at her, as he took the cake from her hands, allowing her to step in easily.

On the trip over, they fell into an easy conversation about nothing in particular; Beth's idea to bake a cake for the occasion, Daryl wanting to take the first bite. Daryl debating about taking on a new class for the following semester, Beth cringing at the idea of having to order that new book if he decided to go for it. The awkward silence that Beth dreaded never came.

A few minutes before noon, Daryl pulled up into a small green farmhouse sitting on a large apple orchard. There was a small wooden gate that appeared to surround the home, along with a lush yard that also circled the house.

"This is gorgeous" she said as she stepped out of the truck. Daryl took advantage of her distraction and removed the cake from her hands. She didn't protest this time.

"It's been in their family for decades" he responded as he gestured her to follow him. She absentmindedly tugged her blouse as she followed Daryl, letting the songs of the whitetails flying above them fill her senses. She noted how comfortable Daryl appeared, obviously having been here many times before. They hadn't reached the second step of the porch before the front door swung open.

"Daryl Dixon!" The older woman came rushing out to greet him, placing both of her hands on top of his, essential holding the cake with him.

"Meg" he greeted in return as he leaned in and placed a kiss on her cheek. He stepped aside and turned to Beth.

"Meg, this is Beth Greene" he looked back at the older woman "She's a good friend of Carols"

The woman beamed at that last part, making Beth blush a little.

"Beth," he turned back to her "This is Megan McBride, Carol's mother."

"How lovely to meet you Beth" the woman came up to her and pulled her in for a soft warm hug.

"And you" Beth said as she squeezed tightly before letting go. Megan's eyes were bright and brimming with tears.

"Now come in Beth, you too Daryl." She led them inside towards the kitchen.

Meg hadn't stopped thanking Beth for her cake, especially after Daryl promised her that it would be the best cake she had ever tasted. Upon hearing him say that, Beth was sure she could fly.

"I thought I heard you in here" a younger woman came in from the south side of the home and pulled Daryl into a big hug.

"Susan, this is Beth, an old friend of Carol's" Meg placed her hands on Beth's shoulders as she made the introductions "This here is Carol's little sister."

Beth was enthralled by the similarities between both mother and daughter. Their bright eyes, small nose, and wide smile. Both women had the same short hair Carol had, Meg's hair wisps of gray and white, closer to the Carol's shade, whereas Susan's was a dark walnut color. There was no doubt that these three women were related.

"Ah, so you're a friend of  _Carol's_ " Susan said as she turned to look at Daryl who bit his thumb as he walked towards the refrigerator. Susan opened her mouth in a silent cheer at his obvious embarrassment, as Meg chuckled slightly and shook her head.

"Beth, what an honor to finally meet you" she placed a soft hand on her shoulder and gently squeezed. Beth was moved by the familiarity of the gesture and placed her hand on top of hers.

"Finally meet me?" Beth asked as she looked between mother and daughter. There was no chance for them to answer however, the women having been interrupted by the doorbell. Susan put her finger to her lips as she walked out of the kitchen, leaving Beth to wonder what it all meant.

"Damn McBride women…" Daryl muttered to himself as he pulled out a drink.

"Hey, don't swear." Beth chided him with a playful slap to his shoulder. Daryl looked at her scowled.

Meg laughed as she followed her daughter to the door. "Oh Daryl," she commented on her way out "I really like this one."

Beth smiled up to him, giddy to see his reaction, red in the face and refusing to look at her. She didn't want things to get awkward, so she smiled wide at him and poked his side, happier still to see him squirm.

"Aw, Daryl, she likes me." She cooed when he turned to look at her.

"Yeah well, she likes me too, so no accounting for her taste." He smiled back as he pushed himself from the refrigerator.

"Come on. Let me give you a proper tour of this place before everyone shows up."

* * *

 

After the brief tour of the house, Daryl had taken her outside and walked her around the apple orchard, sharing memories of Carol from the many years they knew each other.

"So, you two have been in each other's lives for a long time" Beth stated after they had decided to sit for a bit on a fallen tree they had stumbled upon.

"Twenty years" he responded, taking out his second cigarette since they sat down.

"I don't think I've known anybody that long that wasn't family" she responded somberly, playing with the dirt on the ground with her Toms.

"She was my family."

Beth looked down at the marks her shoes were making on the dirt, not knowing what to say to the man sitting next to her.

"I can't imagine that sort of loss" she finally responded, still looking down

"I mean, I understand the loss of a family member, but yours was more than that wasn't it?"

He looked at her, head tilted slightly.

"What do you mean?"

"Losing someone who was many things to you. A lover, family member, a friend." She gave him a shy smile as she slowly turned to look at him.

Daryl shook his head as he inhaled his cigarette. "Nah, Carol and I were never together like that."

Beth was surprised, going back in her mind at all those interactions of theirs she'd witnessed.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I just assumed…"

Daryl shook his head again "No, I mean, there was a time long ago when maybe, but no" he threw the butt of his cigarette in front of them and crushed it with his boots.

Beth was still attempting to process this information. She stepped on the butt as well, moving it around with her toes.

"And then Sophia died, and everything changed. The Carol I'd known for all those years was just gone."

"How did it happen?" Beth asked before she had a chance to think.

"An accident, simple as that." He looked up towards the house, peaking out slightly from the trees.

"She was roller blading outside, stepped onto the street the same time a car was turning." He kept his eyes on the house "The car wasn't speeding, wasn't doing anything wrong. The driver was blinded for a split second by the sun. That second was all it took." He turned to look at Beth. "It was almost worse that way. Nothing or no one to blame."

Beth looked down at her hands, her vision blurring.

"Carol changed, both for the better and the worse. She became stronger, resilient, but she was never the same." He looked down at Beth's dirt designs and then up to her "Her light went out, and it never came back on."

They sat silently for a while, hearing the voices of family and friends gathering outside.

"I saw lots of pictures of her and Carol at the wake the school had for her. They were lovely, both beautiful girls." She remembered, looking down at her now dirty shoes.

"Huh," he grunted to himself as he looked sideways at her.

He stared at her for a short while, Beth feeling the intensity of it on her neck. "You know, I actually saw you at that thing."

Beth turned to him confused.

"Really? I don't remember seeing you there." Not that she would have, she wasn't there very long.

"Yeah, well, I didn't so much as see you as, uh, feel you." He chuckled slightly at that last word, gesturing towards his chest. "You kind of ran into me on your way out."

Beth looked at him embarrassed, feeling her entire face growing hot.

"That was you" Beth half gasped half giggled. He gave her his famous half smile as he nodded, causing her to laugh again.

"Well, you're very sturdy" she looked at him, shoulders shrugged not knowing what more to say. Daryl saved her from further embarrassment by laughing at her, as he looked up towards the orchard tops, clearly a little embarrassed as well by her statement.

After a few minutes Daryl sighed loudly, moving his head downward as he looked down at the ground again. "Hell. I miss her."

Beth quietly nodded. As much as she wanted to be out there with him, she recognized that he probably needed a minute alone. She turned to look at him, observed how he had his head down, legs spread out, his hands on his knees, almost as if he wasn't sure of what to do. She reached out and placed her hand on his. She squeezed it tightly and felt him relax. She leaned forward and pressed her lips gently on his cheek, kissing him closer to his mouth than she had intended. He turned his head in her direction as she slowly pulled away. She stopped the moment his eyes focused on hers, a mere inch away from his, and they sat there silently gazing at each other, Beth feeling his warm breath on her lips.

She closed her eyes and smiled as she struggled to find the strength to move.

_This isn't the time_

"I'm gonna see if Meg or Susan needs my help" she whispered as she opened her eyes, squeezing his hand once more before she stood and walked through the trees.

* * *

 

She wasn't quite sure how she made it to the back porch from the orchard. She was sure a part of her was still with Daryl, his presence so strong that she still felt his breath on her as she walked away.

"Beth!" A familiar voice greeted her, breaking her of her trance.

"Sasha" Beth beamed as both women walked towards each other, embracing tightly when they met.

"What a lovely surprise" Beth smiled at her friend as she released her.

"Isn't it? I didn't know you'd be here, but then again, it makes perfect sense" she smiled as she looped her arm around Beth's waist and led her to one of the wicker seats that had been placed outside. There were roughly twenty people outside now, their voices intermixing with the other. Laughter surrounding them, and it just felt right.

"You come here alone?" Beth asked as she sat down next to Sasha.

"No, Bob and Tyreese came with me. Bob was one of Carol's students as well, and Tyreese, well, he knew I'd need the extra emotional support."

Sasha turned back to look at the house "They're both inside chatting with some other students and friends who came out today. How about you? Did you bring Maggie with you?"

Beth shook her head.

"Actually, no. I came with Daryl" She smiled to herself as she pushed a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

Sasha froze for a second before a huge smile appeared on her face. She knew that Glenn and Tyreese talked just as much as she and Maggie had, so she was positive Sasha knew all about Daryl. Plus, she had seen them at the farmers market. She leaned over to Beth as if to tell her something, but at the last second moved back, apparently having changed her mind. Beth was secretly relieved.

"Beth, sweetie, have you seen Daryl?" Susan walked up to the girls, scanning the backyard searching for him.

"I left him in the orchard, it looked like he needed a minute" Beth said softly, knowing that Susan knew what she meant. "Is there something I can help you with, though?" She stood as she saw Bob and Tyreese walking towards her.

"That would be great, thanks." Susan gestured Beth to follow her inside so that they could bring all the food out and get the brunch started. Beth gave both men a quick hug before she followed Susan inside, telling Sasha she would be back soon. After Beth's third trip to the kitchen, a movement from the window caught her eye. She saw Daryl leaning towards the bed of his truck, taking out the crates of flowers he had brought.

"We're going to plant a garden today." Meg walked up next to her, turning towards the window as well.

"Daryl brought some flowers from his greenhouse. Thought it'd be nice to do in Carol's honor. She loved gardens" Beth saw Tyreese approach Daryl outside and offered to help carry some of the crates. When both men were out of sight, Beth turned to Meg and smiled fondly at the older woman.

"Carol was such an amazing woman. I am very lucky to have known her, even if it was only for a few months."

"Were you a student of hers?"

Beth shook her head as the memory of their first meeting at the library filled her head. "No, I wasn't a student." She responded shyly. "I just mended a book for her once, and after that we became friends."

Meg put her hands to her mouth as realization set in.

"Her father's old book? The DSM?"

Beth nodded

"Oh, I remember her talking about that. It meant so much to her. And us" she walked to the small living room, Beth following closely behind. On top of a bookcase were several pictures that Beth hadn't noticed. Many photographs were years old, one of Megan and Carol's father from their wedding. On the first shelf, Meg pulled out a small yellow book Beth would have recognized anywhere. Meg looked at it fondly as she handed it to Beth.

"Daryl brought it to us a while back. Said someone special had fixed it." She smiled at Beth, indicating he had meant her. "He said that someone had poured a lot of love into this book, and it needed to be where it would be cherished and treasured."

Beth hadn't stopped looking at the book, slowly caressing the cover like she had so many times before.

"I think I'm going to return the book to Daryl," she continued "I believe that he's in a place where he can finally cherish and treasure it for himself."

"What makes you say that?" Beth asked, looking up at her. Meg just smiled as she tilted her head slightly, never letting go of her eyes.

"Oh."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god, I am so so so humbled by the positive response my little story has gotten. Thank you, thank you all!!!!!!!!!


	18. Flowers in Your Hair

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so so much for the lovely comments and all the kuddos. You are complete me!!!

One wouldn’t think that they had all gathered together to remember a friend who had passed less than seven months ago. Yet there they were, friends and family all together, and Beth didn’t feel anything but happiness.

She had fallen into an easy conversation with Susan, both women sharing stories about their youth. Granted, Susan had a good ten years on Beth, but even still they seemed to have gotten into similar mischief as children.

More often than not, Beth would turn and look at Daryl who was on the other side of the yard, close to the food naturally, chatting with Tyreese. She couldn’t help but realize how much their actions emulated each other’s, Beth looking at Daryl a second before he would turn to look at her, and likewise for him. It was almost as if both had thought to seek each other out at the same moment. Every time without fail, they’d both smile shyly before turning away. More than one time she had caught Susan and Sasha giving each other knowing looks whenever Beth returned to their conversation.

“Excuse me, hello.” Meg stood amongst the crowd, raising her voice in attention. “This is the moment during brunch when I interrupt you and thank you for coming out here today” she continued, wide smile on her face. A few people laughed and raised their drinks at her.

“Today isn’t a day to mourn for Carol” her voice cracked at her daughter’s name, causing Susan to stand and join her mother, wrapping one arm around her and whispering something into her ear. Meg closed her eyes and shook her head at whatever Susan had said as both women held hands.

“Today is a day to celebrate each other as friends and family. To be around those we love and who love us back” Meg wrapped her arm around her daughter and placed a kiss on her cheek. Susan wiped some tears from her eyes and smiled as she looked at the people in front of her.

“Today is a day to be grateful that we are alive and present to receive this love” Meg’s voice cracked again as she looked down for a second. She took a deep breath and raised her head, taking a moment to look at each person’s face, as if she wanted everyone to understand what she was trying to articulate.

“Let us all live every day like today. For our Carol. For our Sophia.”

The backyard erupted in cheers as mother and daughter embraced. Sasha and Beth had joined in on the cheers and hugged each other, smiling and crying at the sight of the other. After a few seconds Sasha went running to Bob, leaving Beth to turn to the man who continued to make the butterflies soar.

She met his eyes the moment he turned to meet hers. They held each other’s gaze and it was Daryl who initiated a smile this time. He slowly brought his hand to his corner lip, placing it on the exact spot where Beth had kissed him hours before. Beth took a deep breath and smiled in return, unconsciously bringing her hand to her heart and curling her fingers over the spot, feeling the thumping growing stronger and faster. She wasn’t sure what she was communicating to him at that moment, and she was willing to bet he didn’t either. So they both just stayed in that pose; love, family, and friends surrounding their being.

“And now, we’d like you all to join us in honoring her” it was Susan’s turn to speak. “Our friend Mr. Daryl Dixon was generous enough to bring some flowers for us to plant today. We’d love for you all to pick some floras and plant them in that little garden by the orchard. A special thanks to the lovely Axel who built it for us.” Beth turned to the man in question, a tall lanky man with orange hair and a long mustache, goofy grin on his face as he waved embarrassingly at the crowd.

“So everyone, come on!” Susan gestured enthusiastically “Chop, chop, we’ve got some planting to do”

* * *

 

Beth smiled as she looked around the large backyard, people talking and laughing all around her. Not a somber look on anyone’s faces, just smiles all around. A large patch of green and brown had been turned into a makeshift garden, the guests all taking turns in picking out flowers from the crates, before gently planting them in their new home. Beth had cheated a little, choosing a variety of zinnia flowers rather than a single color. Daryl had brought plenty, and she was pretty sure that he wouldn’t mind if she helped herself.

She was currently on her knees, digging holes for her flowers, not minding at all about the stains that were forming on her capris. She wiped the sweat off her forehead with the back of her palm, happy to know her flowers would be receiving plenty of sunshine. From across the yard, she saw Daryl scan the garden before making eye contact with her. He smiled and started making his way towards her, awkwardly putting his hands in his pockets. Beth smiled in return and looked down at her dirty hands, hiding her face from him as she closed her eyes. She wanted to feel his presence before she saw him again, just like she had the day he had invited her to come.

“What have you got here?” Daryl asked sitting right next to her, crossing his leg as he gently leaned into her.

“Some beautiful zinnias” she held up a magenta one.

“This is a good one.” He took the flower from her hands and stared at it. “This color zinnia symbolizes lasting affection.” Beth followed his gaze to the flower, smiling sadly as she thought of her affection for Carol.

“And this one” he gestured towards one she had already planted. “This white zinnia symbolizes goodness.” He pointed to one next to it “The yellow embodies daily remembrance.” She looked at the colors surrounding them, realizing that Daryl must have chosen the variety specifically for Carol.

“When you present zinnias in a mixed selection like you got here,” he gestured at Beth’s selection “the flowers as a whole take on a new meaning.”

She turned slowly to him as he did the same. Without warning he reached out and brushed her brow with his thumb, removing a smear of dirt from her forehead.

“And what’s that?” She whispered, trying to keep her composure.

Daryl sighed and looked back at the flowers.

“In remembrance of a friend” he answered as if speaking to them.

Beth felt a lump form in her throat, but forced herself to remain at ease. Today was not a day for mourning after all.

“What about you? What did you plant?” She asked.

“A sweet pea shrub” he pointed towards the small wooden gate that surrounded the garden entrance.

“Sweet pea,” she repeated as she looked at the violet buds “do they hold a special meaning?”

“Yeah. Sweet peas are a way of thanking people for a lovely time upon their departure.” He looked at Beth “A form of goodbye”

She felt the tears tickle down her face, having lost all ability to control their flow. She was about to wipe them away when she heard Daryl’s whisper.

“Don’t” he gently stopped her hand and put it down. “No need to dirty your pretty face” he wiped the tears from both cheeks as he smiled at her.  She chuckled slowly as she looked down. He handed back the magenta flowers and watched her plant them.

* * *

 

It was close to 10pm, and only a few people remained. Besides Sasha, Tyreese, and Bob, a few others stayed around to help the McBride women clean up and further reminisce.  Axel, the old family friend who had built the garden (Beth made a mental note to ask Daryl about him),Eugene (Susan’s quiet and odd husband), and Haley and Noah, two former students of Carols.

Though there were less people around, it could be assumed that the party had remained at full force based on all the laughter and noise coming from them. Their ruckus could also be explained by the alcohol Bob and Daryl had picked up hours earlier.

Haley had just finished telling a story about Carol from when she was a student in her classroom, leaving all the guests laughing and groaning, Susan more so as she held onto her husband. “Yeah, I’m surprised Carol didn’t get into trouble, some of the things that woman did in front of her students shocked me!”

Noah turned to look at Haley “Remember when Professor Peletier showed us those penis graphs?” Haley almost spit out her beer as the entire living room erupted in laughter.

Meg dramatically put her hand on her chest “What on God’s earth are you talking about?”

Haley started shaking her arms and head as if trying to clarify. “They weren’t penis graphs.” She hiccupped when she was able to compose herself.

“It was a dot chart that was supposed to show correlation versus causation in one of our research classes.” Noah added.

Daryl started laughing “I saw that graph! Carol showed it to me.” He turned to Meg “They looked like dicks to me.”

Beth swatted his chest at his comment seconds before the memories came to her as well

“Oh! I remember that story!” Beth suddenly exclaimed, a little louder than she’d intended “She told me about it during one of our breaks. She was so angry that they all laughed.” She turned to Daryl “She was angry that you laughed too! Called you an ass”

The entire group continued laughing, especially after Noah had found the charts on his phone and passed the photos around.

Beth was feeling really relaxed, not quite drunk, but a little passed tipsy. She and Daryl were sitting on a large loveseat, plenty of room where it wasn’t necessary for Beth to rest her entire body against his side, but she was too comfortable leaning on him, and Daryl didn’t appear to mind. Sometime during the conversation he had draped his arm around her, his hand chastely placed on her left shoulder.

“I loved hearing her stories.” Beth continued as she smiled at Meg.

“My favorite was the one she told me of the student falling asleep in her class.”

“I don’t think I ever heard that one” Susan responded leaning forward in her seat.

“Me neither” Sasha added.

Beth turned to look at Daryl and he shrugged and shook his head.

“Well, I guess one of her students fell dead asleep during one of her lectures” Beth began, happy to have a story to contribute “rather than wake him up right away, she made her whole class get out of their seats and stand up there with her, in front of him. She then had the whole class erupt in applause and cheers just to wake him.” Beth started giggling as she remembered the way Carol had told it to her. “That poor kid. Woke up to an entire class going crazy on him.”

The room broke out into laughter again at Beth’s story, with only one exception. Noah had seemed to sink further onto the ground before Bob noticed him and drew everyone’s attention to him.

“Noah, was that you?” He shouted. The room got quiet as all eyes went to him.

Noah looked around the room, his dark skin seeming to turn darker by the second. “Ah, shit. I was tired, man!” If possible, the room broke out into louder hysterics, everyone laughing harder than their breathing could keep up. Daryl’s arm slid off of Beth’s shoulder so that he could clap his hands and lean forward in laughter. Beth had her face buried in her hands, almost as if trying to keep the laughter from escaping any further. Even Noah had rolled to his side, clearly just as amused at hearing his own story as everyone else had been.

“Oh my, I think that’s the sign that it’s time to go.” Sasha said as she stood up, wiping the tears from her face. “There’s no way anything is going to top that tonight.”

“Yeah, I should head out too, find a hole to bury myself into” Noah chuckled as he jumped to a standing position.

The rest of the party slowly got up and started to head out as well, hugs and goodbyes being exchanged amongst everyone. Finally a few remained, as Beth and Daryl began the transition out.

Tyreese and Daryl, who had really hit it off, chatted by the door as Beth went into the kitchen to help Susan and Meg finish loading the final round of dishes into the washer before they left.

“I need you to promise right now that I’ll be seeing more of you in the future” Meg told her as she handed back the clean cake tray Beth had brought earlier.

“With our without Daryl” Meg finished with a kind wink.

“I would love that.” Beth said as she hugged Meg, giving her the tightest hug she could muster.

“Preferably with Daryl” Susan added, earning her a quick swat from her mother. Susan laughed and gave Beth an equally affectionate hug. “It was fantastic meeting you” Susan whispered as she released her.

“It was my honor to meet you both” she held Susan’s hands as she turned and looked at Meg.

Daryl walked in moments later and went straight to Meg, pulling her into a bear hug

“My Megan. You take care of yourself you hear?” He made sure to look her straight in the eyes as the last word. Meg shook her head and placed both hands on his face, pulling it down softly so that she could kiss his forehead. She angled her head slightly and whispered something that caused his ears to turn red. He nodded and chuckled softly as he released her and turned to Susan.

“Bye sweetheart. Never quit giving that man of yours shit” he laughed as he hugged her.

“You know me too well” she smiled as she squeezed him back. She leaned further and whispered something to him as well. Daryl shook his head as he pulled away, looking at her with mock exasperation.

“Damn McBride women” he huffed as he walked towards Beth.

* * *

 

The drive back was quiet and somber, a contrast so strong from the previous hour that the silence nearly made Beth’s ears hurt.

She turned to look at Daryl’s profile, his features prominent in the closeness of the truck. Still blaming the alcohol running through her body, Beth reached out and touched his cheek, the exact location she had kissed him and where he had placed his own hand hours before. She felt him smile under her fingers.

“Trying to take advantage of me, Greene?”

She giggled as she brought her hand down. “You wish” she smiled as she focused forward, staring at the dark road ahead of her.

A few minutes later, Beth was missing his voice.

_Want him to talk to you? Talk!_

“So,” she started, searching for conversation. “Whose idea was it for the garden?”

He turned and smiled “Why, did you like it?”

She nodded “Yes, it was lovely.”

He turned his focus back on the road, turning on the blinkers as he came to a stop. “Actually, it was Meg’s idea. She wanted to do something special in remembrance.” He gently turned the wheel.

“She said you got it from your greenhouse?”

Daryl smiled as he shrugged, keeping his eyes on the road. “Well, not really mine.” He turned to look at Beth again “The greenhouse technically belongs to the university. It’s the one by the science department.”

“Oh yeah.” Beth remembered when it was built, about five years ago, and how much time and money had gone to it. The press was all over the construction of the greenhouse; apparently it was a big deal, nothing like it for hundreds of miles. It was supposed to be beautiful, housing a huge variety of plants and vegetation. Beth had never gone to see it, much to the dismay of her family.

“I oversee much of the production in there. Making sure things run smoothly, the temperature doesn’t get too hot or cold. Making sure the sprinklers don’t fail, that nothing but the best is grown.”

“That sounds amazing.”

He looked at her again and just smiled, raising his head a little with pride. She looked out the window again, surprised that they were already at her street. She felt a twinge of sadness at the thought of going inside her apartment alone.

_It’s okay Beth, not like its anything new._

He slowed down in front of her apartment “Well, let’s find a place to park so I can walk you up-“

“No!” she exclaimed earning herself a confused look from him.

“I mean, you don’t have to. It’s already late” she was practically fumbling as she reached for the lock. The thought of having an awkward farewell at her doorstep seemed a little more than she was ready for at the moment. She didn’t want to have to say goodbye in such an intimate way, close her apartment door on him, hearing him walk away… nope, she wasn’t having that right this moment. Better to end it sweetly right here.

“Anyway” Beth attempted again “I don’t want you to have to go through the trouble of parking when you can just leave me here right in front of the door.” She smiled sweetly at him, hoping she hadn’t offended him with her insecurities.

“Alright” he said as he parked his truck outside the apartment doors, still looking a bit confused.

She got out of and walked around to the driver’s side, Daryl having rolled down the windows by the time she reached him. She put both hands on the window frame as she looked into his blue eyes.

“Thank you so much for bringing me today. It was truly special, and something I won’t soon forget.”

He shrugged as he looked at her “Nah, thank you for coming. I don’t think I would have been able to handle all that on my own.” It was her turn to be puzzled as he looked past her to the door.

“You best get in there now. Like you said, it’s already late.” He smiled as she rolled her eyes. She held on to the window pane a bit longer before pushing herself off, waving at him when she got to the door. She took the stairs two at a time to the second floor, and let herself in to her little space. She turned on the radio in her room as she got ready to go to turn in.

As she finished her nightly routine and crawled onto bed, a wave of emotions engulfed her, leaving her momentarily frozen. A pull between sadness and joy tugged at her, neither emotion staying long enough for her to drown in. Before she realized what was happening she was crying. Not out of sadness, but out of necessity. Slowly, her tears changed into something new. They weren’t tears of loss, but of hope and possibilities.  

She cried for a few minutes longer before she clicked off the lights, not bothering to turn off the radio. She hummed along to the chorus and then slowly began to sing before sleep claimed her.

_There will come a time, you’ll see_

_With no more tears and love will not break your heart_

_But dismiss your fears_

_Get over your hill and see, what you find there,_

_With grace in your heart and flowers in your hair._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song Credit: After the Storm by Mumford and Sons


	19. Two Can Play

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no words. The MSF killed me. Absolutely killed me. I mourned the loss of Beth Greene for a good long time and I know I will never be over it. Thank you all for the kind messages of support, they really helped me get through this. 
> 
> I started this story at a sad point in my life as a way to channel my feels into something good. The outpour of love and support completely humbled me and gave me the confidence to continue. Now, that our beautiful girl is gone from the show, I am going to make damn sure she lives on in this story. I have a lot of happy things in store for our Professor Dixon and Baker Beth, and I hope they give you some peace as they have for me. So come closely to the screen so I can give you all a huge hug. Thank you for being the loveliest group of readers this girl has ever known.

Beth woke up earlier than she wished she had, turning over and seeing it was before seven. A Sunday morning talk show was playing in the background, and it took her a second to realize she had left the radio on. She smiled softy at the memory of her Saturday, and then groaned when she attempted to get up, realizing she was slightly hung-over. She forced herself up and prepared some coffee before heading back to bed. She didn’t have any plans that day, thinking she was going to need all of Sunday to recoup from an emotional day. But she wasn’t feeling emotional; she had poured her feelings out last night before passing out.

After a few minutes, she got up again, figuring she might as well start fully waking up. She sat on her couch, book in hand, drinking her coffee as she leisurely turned the pages of the novel she had read so often she practically had it memorized. She heard her phone ding in the other room, but was too lazy to get up and check it. 

 _What to do today_ she wondered, happy to have a whole day to herself _._

Right as she thought of the perfect morning plans she heard her phone ding again. She walked back to her room and put on a simple black skirt and white tank top, then braided her hair to her side. She was looking for her comfy sneakers when the phone went off again. She cursed as she turned to look for it, knowing it could only be one person messaging her at the moment.

Just as she suspected, she glanced at the phone and saw that Maggie had sent her three messages.

_Mr. Blue is HOT!!!_

“Oh geese,” Beth groaned as she scrolled down to the next one.

_No really, good going there Bethy._

“Yep, yep, I did good” she sarcastically answered, though didn’t type it.

The last message was pretty long, but it made Beth smile.

_Just so you know, I only stopped by yesterday because I knew you were going to be a nervous mess, and I wanted to distract you. I’d rather have you irritated at me than a wreck in front of him. And what do you know, it worked! Call me later, I can’t wait to hear all about the brunch ;)_

“Oh Maggie, you know me so well.” She was about to type a message full of love and gratitude before she received a last message.

_Also, I really wanted to see what he looked like. HOT!!!!_

* * *

 

This morning was particularly brutal. Beth already felt the sweat pooling at her lower back as she got out of her truck, yet she couldn’t think of a better way of spending the morning than at the farmers market. She removed her sunglasses for a second, drying off some sweat that had gathered on the lens before putting them back on.

She started humming to herself as she walked towards her destination. She had completely gone through all of the pear-honey jam Daryl had purchased her, and she was eager to buy some more for her and Maggie. It was going to be the fourth of July in a couple of days, and she was going to bake some pies that would taste great with the jam. As she reached the stand, she put her sunglasses on her head. She wiped the sweat that was just above her cheek bone and wiped it on her skirt as she looked at all the jars, trying to find the one she wanted.

“If I could make a recommendation?” A nice looking Hispanic man stepped into her view and greeted her with a warm smile. She couldn’t help but reciprocate it.

“A recommendation?” Beth repeated.

The man nodded and turned around reaching for a jar with a green pepper sticker on the lid

“You wouldn’t believe it, but jalapeño jelly is quite delicious. A combination of sweet and spicy, something I’m sure you’re familiar with.”

“Ew,” Beth scrunched her nose and giggled, not quite sure how to react but reaching for the jar anyway.

“No seas latoso, Caesar” the owner of the jam stand laughed from across the tent.  Both Beth and the man identified as Caesar turned to look at him. “Dejarla en paz” the older man continued as he straightened out some jars in front of him.

“No te metas, Javier” the man scolded at him before turning back to Beth “He’s telling me not to bother you and leave you alone” he translated, causing her to laugh.

“He’s not bothering me, thank you though” she smiled at the older man and looked down at the jalapeño jelly. Javier laughed as he shook his head and went to sit back in his folding chair.

She turned to the man who was still looking at her. She felt odd not saying anything to him, and figured it wouldn’t hurt to chat. “So, you know a lot about jams?”

“I know a lot about a lot of things” he smiled “how about I take you out and you can pick my brain.”

Beth took a second to mentally check herself. She had pretty much rolled out of bed and changed into the first thing she found. She hadn’t even showered for goodness sakes, and she was fairly sure she had forgotten to put on deodorant. She was sure she smelled. With all this in mind, how was someone actually flirting with her, let alone actually asking her out?

She scanned his face, noting that he had a little frown on her face. _Oh no, he thinks I’m rejecting him._

“Oh, sorry, I’m barely waking up right now and I’m just…”she shrugged and looked at him. He was cute, she’d give him that. He had soft features that made him look kind, and despite his bad pick up line, he wasn’t giving off a creepy vibe.

 _Why not?_ She thought for a few seconds before turning fully to him

“That sounds like an incredible opportunity there, picking your brain and all” she smiled, feeling the warmth return to her face. “But I can’t. I’m, uh…seeing someone at the moment.”

_Well, It’s kinda true._

“Of course you are, linda.” Ceasar said with no malice at all. “Someone as beautiful as you isn’t running around unclaimed.”

“Oh.” Beth brought her hand to her mouth, thrilled that a total stranger paid her such a sweet compliment. “What a lovely thing to say” she managed through her embarrassed smile.

“It’s the truth” he gestured towards Javier, still sitting in his chair and watching their interaction.

“Well, if you ever change your mind, I’m here a lot” he waved at Javier and smiled a toothy grin at Beth before turning around and walking away.

Beth smiled to herself as she continued searching for her honey jam, making a mental note to share that story with Maggie when she finally called her back.

“You sure have a way of making men fawn for you, don’t you Beth?” Beth turned towards the voice and felt her heart swell.

“Michonne!” She walked up to her quickly and gave her a hug.

“You’re always sneaking up on me, that’s just not fair!” Beth beamed as she leaned back to look at her.

“Well, I use to be a hunter.” She grinned, gently squeezing her arms before releasing Beth. “Had to learn to be sneaky. I see you had to turn down another poor guy” Michonne teased as she looked in the direction Caesar had left. Beth looked at her in confusion “Carl being the other one?” Michonne clarified with a wink.

Beth rolled her eyes as she turned to pay for her jams. “Yeah, that’s me. Complete heart breaker.”

“Good for you Beth, make them work for it. That’s how I got Rick.”

Beth smiled at that comment. She’d only met him once, but she could tell Rick was a good man. Michonne had done well.

“Where’s Cadie?” Beth realized as she watched Michonne pick up a couple of jars.

 “Carl’s watching her right now. It’s too hot to have her out. Plus, mom likes some alone time.” She picked up a jar of rhubarb and orange jelly. Beth had missed that one and went to pick it up as well.

“I love oranges, I bet I can make something yummy with this.”  She spoke as she looked at the jar.

“You bake?”

Beth nodded “I love to. I’m baking pies and bread for my family’s 4th of July barbeque. Really, I’ll use any excuse to bake stuff.”

Michonne nodded as she signaled to Javier she was ready to pay. “Well, with these jams, I’m sure it’ll be delicious, whatever you make. A good friend of ours told us about this stand, and I’ve been coming here ever since.”

Beth nodded as she reached into her wallet to get some more cash “Yeah, a friend of mine told me about this place too. Though he says it was just to get me to make more treats for him.”

“Would this be the same friend you turned down that gentleman for?” Michonne laughed at seeing Beth’s face turn red.

“Oh, no. I’m not seeing anyone. He was just so sweet, I didn’t want to flat out turn him down.” She shrugged as she put the orange jam in her bag.

“What about Shane?”

Beth turned and looked at her, surprised that she would remember his name. She’d only brought him up in passing a while back.

“No, we’re not together anymore.”

Michonne stared at her for a second before giving her a small smile “It’s probably for the best.”

Beth returned Michonne’s smile as she nodded in agreement. “Yeah, I suppose.”

“Well, you’re a sweet and beautiful girl; I have a feeling you’ll have someone eating up your goods in no time.”

Beth smiled “Well, there is someone who really enjoys my goods…” she paused and looked up at  Michonne who stared back, both women realizing how suggestive their comments had been.

“Oh no, that’s not what I meant” Beth burst into laughter and Michonne joined her. They continued laughing until they were interrupted by Michonne’s phone. She was still chuckling as she answered “Hello? Hey handsome. No, I’m at the market. I ran into Beth here”

She turned to address Beth “Rick says hi.”

Beth waved awkwardly at the phone.

 “She says hi back.” Michonne continued and started walking down the street, Beth following. “That’s a great idea, but I think she said she already has plans with her family.” She paused “Oh Rick, you hopeless romantic. I’ll call you back in a bit.” She shook her head as she hung up.

“Rick wanted to know if you wanted to join us for Fourth of July” she smiled, answering Beth’s unasked question.

Beth was touched “Aw, that was so sweet of him” she blushed a little then asked “what about that hopeless romantic comment?”

Michonne laughed as she led them both to a fruit stand nearby “he thought you might hit it off with a friend of his that’s coming over. Rick can be a damn sap sometimes.”

Beth scanned the fruit stand and made her way to the apples, suddenly feeling a little uncomfortable. “Actually” Michonne said after a few seconds. “You might know him, he works at the-” a loud pounding made both women turn towards the street to see a woman dressed in black strumming on an electric guitar. Within seconds another woman joined her, then another, then a young man followed suit. Suddenly, a wave of about twenty students, some of which Beth recognized from the campus came rushing out, and started to dance elaborately to the rhythm of the guitars. After a few minutes, the young man stood on top of a crate and began to sing. “Mother I can hear your foot-fall, now. Soft disturbance in the dead- fall how.  It precedes you like a black smoke pall, still the wanting comes in waves…”

Both Michonne and Beth were enthralled by the impromptu performance in front of them. After a few more versus a women, apparently playing the role of the mother, pushed the man off the crate and took his place, singing about saving the young man from the brink of death, and mocking him for taking her love for granted. The lyrics were haunting, and the singing amazing, Beth got chills. After the performance, the crowd went crazy, applauding and cheering them as they quietly picked up their stuff and took off in various directions.

“That was unexpected” Michonne said, shaking herself from her stupor.

“It was beautiful,” Beth whispered, still watching the area where the performance had been. Yep, it was a good decision to come to the market today.

* * *

Monday morning dragged like very few mornings did. It was two days before the holiday break, so the few people who remained on campus moved slower than usual, including the delivery guys that were supposed to drop off the final round of textbooks. Beth was in Tara’s office while both girls played on their phones. They were the only ones in the library at the moment, and had nothing else to do until the books arrived.

Every once in a while Tara would send her a text message, even though they were less than three feet away.

_You should have kissed him._

“Ha!” Beth said loudly as she typed her response.

_I was too emotional. I probably would have started bawling._

Tara laughed

_It would have at least been a memorable kiss._

“Oh yeah, very memorable.” Beth looked up at her friend “I’m sure that’s what every guy wants. A girl blubbering as they make out”

“I love a blubbering girl” Tara joked “it usually means she’s deep.”

Beth laughed as she went back to her game of solitaire. She was about to move a king over to a blank space when her game was interrupted by another message.

_What are the odds I can get you to come out to lunch early?_

“If we do, who’ll take the order?” Beth asked her friend. Tara looked up from her phone with a confused look.

“What?”

Beth quickly looked down at her phone again and realized the message hadn’t come from Tara.

“Oh…” she said quietly.  She looked back at Tara “Sorry, I, um, got a message from Daryl.”

“He has your number?” Tara sat up straight in her chair.

“Yeah, I gave it to him for this weekend. He wants to know if I can come out to lunch early today.”

Tara smiled wide. “Go” she encouraged her. “You know these books aren’t coming today.”

Beth knew it was true. It was too close to the holidays, books ordered around that time always arrived mid-July. Beth puckered her lips as she thought for a few more seconds, and then made up her mind.

“You’re right. I’m doing it.” She got up and looked down at her friend “You should come with. I don’t want you stuck here alone.”

“Nah, I’ll be fine. Amy’s on her way up anyway. She’s just as busy as we are at the moment.” She smiled wide again. “Go” she said before standing and leading her out the office door. Beth practically ran to her office to get her stuff, but not before stopping to respond to his message.

_I’ll see you in five._

* * *

Beth was surprised she had survived the walk from the library to the theater. She had nearly been run over by two trucks that had, for whatever reason, chosen to drive through the campus walkway.  _Okay don’t go exaggerating, they did honk to let you know they were approaching._

A moment later she heard another vehicle drive up behind her. This one at least had the decency to slow down as it swerved around her. “What the heck is going on here?” She whispered to herself as she saw the large truck disappear at the theater entrance.

“Oh no…” she stopped, realization finally dawning on her. “Ugh, not this again.” She begrudgingly continued her walk as she made her way towards their spot. Not surprising, Daryl was already there, and from the looks of it he was as annoyed as she was.

_Well, at least you won’t have to worry about any awkward talk_

She hated herself that moment for having that thought.  The last time she saw him she had left him in a hurry, overcome by her own emotions and uncertainty. At least now she had something to redirect to. 

“So it looks like the theater department is at it again.” She said in way of greeting as she plopped next to him. Daryl grunted in response, not taking his eyes away from the stage. She followed his gaze to see the trucks lined along the edges of the arena, unloading large pieces of wood and staging. A handful of students were walking back and forth across the arena, busying themselves with their work as they talked and laughed loudly. The sounds of power tools and hammering echoed throughout the outdoor venue (the acoustic there really were good) making their usual peaceful haven a bit of a mess.

Beth shouldn’t be annoyed, this happened every year, although she always seemed to forget about it until it arrived. Out of spite she never went to any of the shows, something Tara always admonished her for.

“Those drama kids contacted me asking if I could supply plants for their show” Daryl said, still looking away.

Beth tried not to laugh at the disgusted look on his face. “Is that so?”

“Yeah.” He gestured towards the stage “Said it was for a forest they wanted to build.”

“What did you tell them?”

“Told them the school didn’t pay thousands of dollars on greenery for them to yank it up and hot glue it onto a piece of plywood.” He practically shoved a cigarette into his mouth and attempted unsuccessfully to light it. Beth watched in amusement as he struggled with the lighter.

“Those kids wanted crates of fireweed and poplar for their damn show.” He mumbled to himself.

Beth was still struggling to keep from laughing. For whatever reason, this had hit a nerve for him, and she was going to let him have his moment. _It doesn’t mean I can’t have fun at his expense_

She reached out with both hands and covered his, effectively stopping him from his maddening clicks.

“Now Daryl” she scolded as she took the lighter from him. “It’s important for us to support the arts” she smiled mischievously as she held his gaze. His lids lowered as if trying to figure out if she was serious. When he smiled back, hers widened as she leaned towards him, placing one hand on the ground between them to balance herself and easily flicking on the lighter with the other. He reached for her hand and pulled it close to light the end of his cigarette. She watched him still with a gleam in her eye, proud at herself for not blushing.

"You know Professor Dixon, these things will kill you.” She shook his lighter at him when he released her hand.

“What did I tell you about sassin’ me girl” he growled, though clearly he was enjoying the moment.

“You and your hollow threats” she cooed as she looked away, feeling her confidence start to give way to her usual awkward self.

They were silent for the next few minutes, Beth finishing her chicken salad while Daryl scanned the arena. She noticed his hair had gotten significantly longer, wondered how long it had been since he cut it. He’d also put on some weight, which was good in her opinion, since he was looking like the super-hero persona she had imagined him as before. The bags under his eyes were pretty much gone and he was smiling more, something she definitely had missed from her time stalking him.

She hadn’t realized she was staring at him until a stage worker crossed her peripheral, essentially bringing her back to reality. She didn’t think he noticed however since he also appeared to be lost in thought.

“So, penny for your thoughts?” She asked reaching for an apple slice.

He turned to her and stared.

“A dime?” She smiled at her own joke, holding his gaze. He continued to stare and shrugged in response.

“What does that mean?” She mimicked his shrug, not taking her eyes off of him.

They continued staring at each other until a crashing sound caused them both to jump in their seats. They turned at the same time to see a group of crew workers fumbling to unload several large railings up on the stage.

“It’s a good thing I wasn’t wishing for peace and quiet today” he grumbled as he turned back to Beth. She giggled and then froze as she heard a familiar song playing. She turned back to the stage and saw a young man playing an acoustic guitar. She couldn’t make out the lyrics, but she recognized the melody as the same one that had interrupted her and Michonne the day before at the farmers market.

The young man’s voice picked up as he reached the hook. “Still the wanting comes in waves. And I want this night…” he continued as his voice got lost in the construction noise.

She turned to Daryl who was staring at the musician.

 _This is ridiculous._ Beth thought, suddenly feeling herself get mad. _You like Daryl. You really, really like him. You’ve been fawning over him for over a year. The ball’s in your court so do something._

“Hey, are you working tomorrow?”

He tilted his head and gave her that side glance that he all but trademarked.

“I mean,” she continued as she looked down at her hands “I do, but just a half day. The library closes at 12. If you’re here, maybe we should leave campus for lunch? Avoid all of this” she gestured towards the construction. She turned to look at him and saw him staring at the stage, playing with his hands, cigarette in his mouth. Beth felt a rush of heat fill her stomach at that sight of him, something she hadn’t felt before. It was odd but somewhat exciting.

_Oh good god, Beth I think you’re feeling lust for the first time…_

“No” he answered still looking at the stage. He took a final drag before putting it out on the ground next to him. He looked at her and winked when he saw her frowning. He was joking around with her.

“I’m not working tomorrow, but I’ll still be here.” He continued.

She kept the frown on her face. _Two can play this game_

His grin went away at her expression. He absentmindedly bit his thumb before clearing his throat. “I’d love to take you out somewhere outside of campus.” He elaborated.

“Well that’s too bad” she looked away and started to put her belongings back in her bag. “’Cause I invited you, so I’ll be the one taking you out.” She was proud of how even her voice was, how her hands weren’t shaking as she slung her strap over her shoulder, and how she stood gracefully. Inside her heart was thumping, and she was pretty sure she would pass out as soon as she reached her office.

 _Fake it till you make it_ Maggie always says. Beth was currently working on it.

She looked down at Daryl who was still sitting down, a look of amusement on his face as he turned up to look at her.

“Come get me at the library tomorrow. You remember where that’s at, right?” She smiled wide before walking away towards the library.

The music continued from the stage, Beth pretended it was her victory chant.

“I’ll return to you at break of light, for the wanting comes in waves…”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song Credit: The Wanting Comes in Waves/Repaid by The Decemberists


	20. Here In Front of You

It was the day before Fourth of July and Beth was sitting at the front counter of the library trying to sort through the student sign-in sheets. Patricia had gotten word that one of the many students who frequented the library had gotten past the security filters and had downloaded hundreds of pornographic files onto the school laptops. Both Beth and Tara had laughed when Pat had told them, and as a result were assigned the grueling task of cross referencing student logins with the sign-in sheets.

“This is so stupid!” Tara exclaimed, throwing her highlighter on the floor. “Like the creeper really signed in using his actual name.”

“Don’t assume it was a guy, Tara.” Beth answered as she flipped over to the next sheet. “Girls are just as guilty at this sort of thing.”

Tara chuckled and put her head down on the counter, clearly done for the day.

“Personally, my money’s on Pat” Beth deadpanned, not looking up. Tara raised her head and let out a loud cackle, the one she used when she thought something was really, really funny. Beth was proud of herself at that moment, looking up to see her friend and then turning towards the front door just as Daryl walked in.

“Hey,” she breathed out, feeling the all too familiar butterflies waking from their slumber.

“Hey yourself” he responded. They both turned to look at Tara who was still laughing and hadn’t noticed him walk in.

“She alright?” Daryl asked as Tara finally noticed him, quickly placing her hands over her mouth.

“Nope, she’s just Tara.” Beth smiled at her friend, who had turned a good shade of red.

“Oh, so you’re Tara” he smiled and Tara nodded, extending her fist towards him.

“Yup, and you’re Daryl” she answered still holding her arm out. Daryl looked at Beth who just shrugged.

“It’s what she does” Beth explained with a smile. He chuckled and returned Tara’s fist bump.

“So what’s going on in the library today?” He asked looking down at the papers on the desk. Tara started laughing again and Beth felt her face grow red.

“Someone, um, interfered with the library’s security filters” Beth pushed her braid back behind her ear as she explained.

“Some horny student downloaded a shit ton of porn” Tara translated, causing Beth’s face to turn redder and Daryl to look surprised.

“Thanks Tara” Beth stood, reaching down for her purse. Tara raised a thumbs up causing Daryl to laugh and shake his head.

“Damn students” he mumbled “always trying to get their rocks off.”

“So where are we going?” Beth asked, trying to end further discussions about porn.

Daryl smirked and held the small counter door open for her.

“One of the science professors suggested this Italian restaurant out in Woodbury if you’re interested.”

“That sounds great.” She responded turning to Tara who was grinning at them.

“Great” Daryl gave a quick head nod as he stood back to let Beth pass him. He turned back to Tara “It was great meeting you. Stay out of trouble this week, Beth’s told me some stories about you.”

Tara grinned wider “You just wait ‘till I tell you some of hers.”

Beth narrowed her eyes as she stepped in front of her, making her way towards the front door. They walked out and Beth turned one last time to her friend, who very enthusiastically waved at her before mouthing a “call me after” as Beth stepped out.

* * *

About three hours later, Beth closed the door to her apartment and walked into her bedroom. She fell face first onto her bed, not bothering to remove her shoes or sunglasses as she did so.

_Okay bad ass, what are you gonna do? Laugh or cry? Laugh…..or cry?_

She rolled onto her back and removed her sunglasses, throwing them next to her on the bed. After a count to 100, she reached into her back pocket and pulled out her phone, scrolling down to find Daryl’s number.

She sighed and counted to 100 again before typing her message.

_I’m SO sorry about your pants again!_

She quickly hit send and tossed the phone next to her glasses.

_Am I gonna laugh, or cry?_

She was still deciding when her phone dinged. She wasn’t sure if she was ready to look at it. She had pretty much made an ass of herself on her date with Daryl and didn’t want the validation that was surely there on her phone. She sat up and reached for it.

 _I’m sorry I probably gave you a concussion_ it read.

She stared at the message. _Laugh or cry?_

She fell back and started laughing. A good hearty laugh that caused an ache in her stomach and tears to fall from her eyes. She rolled to her side, brought her knees up, and kept laughing. She was still laughing when her phone dinged again.

_Should I call you every twenty minutes? Isn’t that what you’re supposed to do after a head injury?_

Beth wiped the tears from her eyes and typed out her response.

 _Haha! That’s not necessary_ Beth smiled as she sent it. She thought for another second, and sent another one

_Besides, I’m thinking passing out would be a fitting end to this date :)_

Almost immediately, he responded.

_Ha! Very true. See you Monday?_

Beth smiled, happy that he still wanted to see her.

_You bet. Happy 4 th!_

_Happy Fourth to you, Baker Beth._

Beth sighed, feeling a bit relieved. She went to her kitchen and grabbed a drink before picking up her landline and dialing Tara’s number.

She picked up on the first ring.

“Tell me everything Beth!” Tara didn’t even bother a greeting.

“It was a disaster!” Beth burst out, feeling the laughter begin to bubble again.

“A disaster? How!?”

Beth huffed as she went back in time to three hours earlier. Although Woodbury was a neighboring town, the holiday traffic made it so that it took them a good 45 minutes.

“It took us a while to get there. After about twenty minutes, the ride got pretty awkward, neither of us had much more to say” she took out a jug of tea from the fridge and went to her cupboard for a glass. “He kept biting his thumb and drumming on the dashboard, so I knew that he was probably as nervous as I was.”

“Well, that’s okay, it’s to be expected. This was your first real date after all.” Tara spoke in a calm manner, her usual sarcastic tone nowhere to be heard.

Beth blew a strand of hair off her face and continued “When we finally got there, the restaurant was packed, so we sat outside waiting to be called. It was so flipping hot! I kept sweating and sweating, it was not attractive. I’m actually not sure if it was due to nerves or the heat.” She remembered excusing herself for a minute and pretending to call her sister just as an excuse to wipe the sweat from her eyes that was causing them to sting.

“When we finally got inside we were so hungry that we immediately went for the menus and just sat silently for an eternity while deciding what to get.”

She heard Tara chuckle for a second “Oh that’s nothing Beth! It’s always annoying to have the waitress keep coming back while you decide. You probably just did them a favor.” Beth rolled her eyes and sighed. Sure it sounded like nothing, but while it was happening Beth was panicking.

“What did you talk about?” Tara prompted her, something Beth needed when she was having a moment.

“Ugh, nothing really” Beth took a big gulp of her iced tea “it was typical filler stuff. Like, the weather, local news, how empty the school had been…”

“Anything personal?” Tara interrupted

“Kind of. He mentioned a brother, but I got the sense he really didn’t want to talk about him” she sighed.

“I ended up talking mostly about Maggie, Glenn, and the boys.”

“Aw, Beth that’s good. It’s important for him to know how much your family means to you”

“I suppose.” Beth took a deep breath and squeezed her eyes shut “Things started to pick up as he started talking about that greenhouse of his, when I accidently knocked over a glass of cranberry juice all over his pants.”

There was a pause on the other end that caused Beth to open her eyes.

“Go on” Tara’s voice sounded strained, as if she was holding back a laugh.

“When he went to the  bathroom to clean up, the waitress came up to me and told me to hang in there, because, and I’m quoting her here, ‘ _blind dates can be something terrible sometimes’_ ”

That was all it took for Tara to burst out laughing. Beth joined her, having already decided that she was going to find the humor in this experience.

“And what happened after?” Tara managed to ask.

“The waitress asked if I wanted her to do the fake phone call thing to get me out of the date. I smiled and told her it wasn’t necessary.”

“So she was looking out for a sister…I respect that!”

Beth laughed harder. Tara always had a way of putting a spin on anything.

“We finished eating and then took off. We had more to say on the way back, thank goodness. That part was kind of nice. Then just a few minutes ago, as he was walking me to my door, I turned to say goodbye and somehow managed to get clobbered in the face.”

“What? How?”

“He was leaning in or something, I dunno. I just turned and both our faces smacked into each other.”

It dawned on Beth the exact second Tara spoke it “Do you think he was going in for a kiss?”

Beth didn’t respond, didn’t know what to say to that.

“Well, at least you two have a fantastic story to share with your future grandchildren.”

“Ha ha, I guess. It was less than magical, I will say that.”

“Yeah maybe, but it’s kind of fitting for you both don’t you think? I mean, you’re kind of adorable like that, and Daryl isn’t exactly the smooth socializing type.”

“How would you know?” Beth answered rather briskly, feeling protective of him.

“Maybe Drea has been doing some research for Amy and I” Tara chuckled “We’re just looking out for you friend.”

“Oh my god, tell Andrea to stop all that!” Beth felt her face grow red again, probably for the hundredth time that day.

“Well, first date out of the way at least. All others will be wonderful in comparison.”

“Yeah, you’re right. Thanks friend.” Beth smiled and took her drink to the couch.

She took a moment to reflect back on the date. It really wasn’t as bad as she made it seem to be, and they did get to know more about each other. Tara was right, anything that happens from that moment on will be perfection in comparison. She was going to make sure of it.

“So tell me, friend” Beth tucked her legs underneath her as she changed the phone to her other ear “on to more serious matters. Any luck in finding our computer culprit?”

“No, but I’m starting to suspect you’re right about Patricia.”

Beth smiled and relaxed into her seat as she listened to Tara’s theory, grateful as always, for the wonderful people in her life.

* * *

Beth knew something was wrong as soon as she pulled up to her sister’s home. For one thing, there wasn’t anyone outside and the Fourth of July banners that her sister always put up weren’t up on display. She took out her cupcake tray and walked towards the door, which Michael had opened for her once she stepped up the first step.

“Charlie isn’t feeling good Aunt Bethy” he said in way of greeting. Beth pouted and followed him into the kitchen where Glenn was currently filling a plastic cup with water. “Hey Beth” he said as he leaned in and kissed her on the cheek.

“Hey. What’s wrong with Chuck?” she asked as she put the cupcakes down.

“Ear infection” he frowned

“Oh no, again? That’s the third one this year” Beth felt her eyes tear up. She hated when her boys were sick.

“Yeah, we may have to finally get tubes placed in his ears.” He shook his head as he walked out of the kitchen, Michael and Beth following him. As they reached the hallway, Glenn turned and gave Michael the cup. “Remember to be quiet when you go in okay” Muck nodded and went into the bedroom. Glenn stepped aside to let Beth in, and she saw Maggie sitting on the bed next to Chuck, slowly rubbing his back.

“Here you go brother” Michael stood by his bed and waited until Charlie slowly turned around and sat up reaching for the water. Maggie leaned down and kissed him before standing up and walking towards Michael, picking him up and leading them out of the room. Beth sat next to Charlie and took the cup from him when he was finished.

“I’m sick” he whispered as he lay back down

“I know sweetie” she whispered back and placed her hand on his head. She stroked his hair until he fell back to sleep. She reached down and kissed his forehead before stepping out of the room herself.

As she walked towards the family room, she heard Maggie and Glenn having some sort of argument.

“Glenn, really honey, its fine. Plus you stayed with him all day yesterday.”

“I don’t know, I’m not really in the mood anymore.”

“Well, it’s better than staying here. Plus, I know Michael would want to go, and you can take Beth with you.”

“What’s going on now?” Beth asked as she entered the room

“Tyreese had invited us to go to his BBQ today, so I’m telling Glenn that he should go. No use for all of us to stay in today.”

Glenn shrugged as he made his way into the kitchen. “Michael really wanted to see fireworks, and there will be kids there for him to play with so it should be fun.” Maggie continued as she sat in front of a laundry basket, beginning to sort shirts and socks.

“But what about you?” Glenn asked as he walked back into the room with two juice boxes. He had a pained look on his face, clearly conflicted as to what to do.  

“I’ll be fine. Charlie will be knocked out all night with those antibiotics we got from Urgent Care and I’ll get to catch up on the DVR.” Glenn sat across from Maggie and put the straws in both of their juice boxes before handing one to her. He leaned back on the couch and absentmindedly began drinking from his.

“Besides, there isn’t much we can do until tomorrow anyway” Maggie took a sip and looked up at Beth “He’s got an appointment with Dr. Subramanian then.” She clarified as she placed her hand on top of Glenn’s.

He looked up at Beth as if asking for her input.

“Come on,” Maggie turned to her husband again “you know how much Muck was looking forward to fireworks. We’ll be fine here, just go.” She nudged him gently until he begrudgingly got up. Glenn called for Michael to get ready and then went into Charlie’s room.

“I’ll stay here with you Mags , don’t want the both of you to spend it alone.” She sat down next to her sister.

Maggie just shook her head as she gulped down some more juice “Don’t be silly, go with Glenn. Honestly, it’ll make me feel a hell of a lot better knowing you’ll be there watching Muck as well” she smiled as she reached down to the laundry basket again. “Besides, I bet Sasha and Bob will be there, you’ll have fun. Let this be your ‘something new’ for today” she grinned at her while folding some socks together. Before Beth could argue, Michael came running up to her.

“You coming with us, Aunt Bethy?” He bounced as he looked at his aunt. Beth sighed as she looked into those dark brown almond eyes.

“Yeah, Mucky-Muck, I’m coming with you.”

* * *

The drive up wasn’t very long, just under 15 minutes. Michael couldn’t stop talking about playing with Tyreese and Karen’s kids, Trevin and Emily. Beth had never met them, but from the way Muck and Glenn described them they seemed like good kids.

They turned the corner that led to a cul-de-sac and Glenn and Beth scanned the packed street trying to find parking.

_I’m guessing I didn’t bring enough cupcakes_

“This is a cute neighborhood” Beth said when they found an empty spot around the corner. “No wonder Tyreese wanted the party at his place.” She told Glenn as she helped Michael get out of his booster .

“It’s actually not Tyreese’s house” Glenn explained, grabbing Michael’s hand as they made the short walk to the house. 

“What do you mean?” She asked holding the plastic tray containing her cupcakes close to her chest.

“Ty and all of his buddies swap holiday parties” he explained as he led them towards the house. “He keeps asking when we’re going to join the circle. Every year Tyreese’s family host Halloween , Abraham’s host Thanksgiving…” the three of them walked through the wooden gate surrounding the two story brick house just in time to see Rick Grimes coming out the front door, tray full of buns in his hands.

“And Officer Rick Grimes hosts Fourth of July” Beth finished causing Glenn to look at her with a confused look.

_Such a friggin small world!_

“Trev!” Michael shouted as he spotted and ran towards his friend, effectively announcing their arrival. Tyreese, who was currently behind a large BBQ, looked up and smiled as soon as he saw Beth and Glenn.

“You made it.” Tyreese set his tongs down and began walking towards them. Rick turned to see who Ty was talking to and immediately grinned when he made eye contact with Beth. She waved shyly as they both approached them.

“Hey man, how’s it going?” Glenn walked up gave Tyreese a brief hug as he pulled away and turned to Beth.

“Beth, how great to see you” be brought her in for a big bear hug.

“Tyreese, awesome to see you as always” she stepped back and saw that Rick had walked up next to him.

“This is Glenn, we work together” Tyreese turned to introduce both men.

“Glenn, real nice to meet you, I’m Rick” he said in his thick southern drawl. He then turned to Beth and placed his hand on her shoulder “and Beth, what a fantastic surprise. Michonne said you weren’t able to make it.”

She felt Glenn’s eyes on her and smiled at him “I know his wife” she explained before turning back to Rick.

“Well, I usually spend the holidays with my sister and these guys,” she gestured at Glenn and Michael who was currently blowing bubbles with Trevin “but this year was different.” She shrugged, not quite over the shock of ending up at Rick’s home.

“Charlie, our youngest, is sick with an ear infection” Glenn explained “Maggie stayed with him and made us come out today.”

“I’m sorry about your son, but I’m happy you three could join us” Rick led them towards the house, Beth scanning the yard looking for Sasha or Michonne. There were quite a few people there, none of which Beth recognized.

“And Beth, I’m especially glad that you’re here” it was the tone of voice that Rick used that clued her in. The conversation she had overheard between him and Michonne a couple of days earlier came back to her.

 “ _He thought you might hit it off with a friend of his that’s coming over.”_

“Michonne!” She said a little too ecstatically, causing all of them to stop and stare at her.   
“Ha” she giggled nervously “I should say hello to Michonne” she started walking towards the front door, grasping her tray tightly “It would be rude after all, not to say hello to her, she was the one who invited me.”

Tyreese and Rick simply stared at her with mild amusement whereas Glenn had a huge smile on his face, knowing her well enough not to follow and let her be.

_Jerk knows me too well_

Once inside, she found her way towards the kitchen, stopping along the way to look at all the family portraits surrounding the walls. She placed her plastic tray down on the counter and looked out the window that faced the backyard, scanning the guests, wondering if she could single out the friend Rick wanted her to meet. She saw Rick and Glenn walk across the yard, apparently giving him a tour based on his hand gestures. A little while later she saw Rick approach a younger man who looked to be around her age. She saw Rick introduce him to Glenn and then gestured towards the house. _Hmmm, I wonder if that’s him_ she considered as she stared at the man a little harder. He was very cute, in a cocky sort of way. _I bet he’s a cannibal or something sick like that_ she concluded, already dismissing him.

“Rick told me you were in here” Beth jumped and turned to see Michonne standing at the doorway holding baby Cadie in her arms “I’m so happy you were able to make it!”

“Can you believe this small world?” Beth laughed as she walked up to her and gave her a hug.

“I do believe it! When you find good people, the world finds a way to keep them close to you” she turned to Cadie and pressed a kiss on her forehead “my dad use to say.”

“Well your dad is a very smart man” Beth said as she grabbed Cadie’s feet and started playing with them. “My mom always said that it was bad form to arrive at a gathering without bringing anything to share.” She turned and gestured at her plastic tray “Unfortunately I don’t think there are nearly enough for everyone.”

Michonne walked towards the cupcakes and looked them over. “That’s enough for my nephews and brother in law, but not for a house full of guests” Beth further apologized as she walked to stand next to her.

“Who cares about a house full of guests?” Michonne looked at Beth as she grabbed a cupcake “As long as there are enough for me and myself, I’m happy.” She grinned as she took a bite. Beth laughed as she looked past her shoulder out the window again. Rick was still talking to that handsome man as they walked out of her sight. Beth sighed quietly wondering how long she’d be able to put it off.

“Please make yourself at home, I gotta take this one upstairs for a diaper change” she mumbled as she stuffed the rest of the cupcake into her mouth and grabbed another one.

“Let me come with you, I’ll help you” Beth offered eager to hide from Rick a little longer.

“No, its fine, I’ll be back in a bit.” She took another bite as she walked out of the kitchen, leaving Beth alone again. She walked towards the window and resumed her search.

After a few minutes, she turned her back to the window and leaned back, bracing her hands on the sink behind her.

“Okay Badass, you got this” she whispered to herself “So Rick wants you to meet a friend, big whoop. It’ll be awkward for a second and then it won’t.” She closed her eyes.

_Three, two, one, breathe._

Beth opened them, took a couple of jumps to get her blood flowing, and walked out the kitchen.

 _I’m not going to hide out from a GUY at a party_ she scolded herself as she walked out into the living room. _Oh God, what would Maggie say if I told her-_ her thoughts were quickly interrupted when she ran into a wall. _Wait, not a wall_ she realized as she felt two strong arms holding her up.

“Easy there, girl” she heard the man chuckle as his hands tightened on her arms.

Beth looked up and immediately felt her stomach sink.

“Daryl!” She cried and jumped into his arms.

She felt him tense for a second before realization set in.

“Beth?”

She felt his arms close around her, giving her the best hug she had ever received. She was never, ever, more relieved to see someone.

She pulled back slightly, still keeping her hands on him. “I’m so glad to see you” she grinned, not caring for a second that she had made an ass out of herself. It wasn’t the first time with him anyway.

“Same here” he looked down at her, a big grin on his face, clearly surprised to see her.

“What brings you here?” He added, his eyes a little glazed over.

“Tyreese invited us. Well he invited Glenn, my brother-in-law, and I kind of tagged along” she smiled.

“Oh Chinaman is your brother in law?” She scowled at that comment which caused him to quickly shake his head “It’s an inside joke,” he explained stepping back and scratching behind his ear. “Between Glenn and I…” he looked a bit embarrassed which caused Beth to relax and giggle at him.

She sighed “I don’t understand you men.” She took a few moments to check him out. He was wearing a fitted black t-shirt and jeans, definitely not the usual wear she’d seen him in. Absentmindedly she brought her hands to her mouth, pinching her bottom lip, completely overtaken with how good he looked. She looked up at him and realized she was staring.

“So you like Cheap Trick?” She was referring to his t-shirt, the only thing she thought to say at that moment. He narrowed his eyes and looked down.

“Yeah, I suppose I do.”

They fell into an awkward silence, the initial rush of seeing each other faded for a second. Beth looked up at him and tilted her head.

“What are you doing here?”

He smiled at her question “I’m a friend of Ricks,” he explained “a brother of sorts. We go back a long time.”

She smiled.

“A brother that I’m hiding from actually” he began biting his thumb and walked towards the kitchen, gesturing her to follow him.  Once back there again, he made his way towards the refrigerator and pulled out two beers. He handed one to her without asking while taking the other for himself.

“Why are you hiding from Rick” she asked when he opened the bottle for her. He took the cap off of his and took a long chug. A really long one, as he was more than halfway done with it when he brought the bottle down.

“He says there’s someone he wants me to meet, some ‘sweet girl’ he and Michonne know.” He doesn’t look at her, but rather outside the same window Beth had previously been looking out of. He takes another swig of his beer and turns back to her “The son of a bitch is trying to set me up.” He elaborates, making sure Beth understands his dilemma. He turned back to look out the window, trying to guess who the girl would be. When Beth didn’t respond he looked back at her. Beth was momentarily frozen feeling her heart begin beating to the tune of the butterflies.  She felt her face grow into a huge Cheshire smile and shrugged as innocently as she could.

“Yeah, that sounds terrible” she agreed as she took a big gulp of her beer. She felt the effects immediately which didn’t surprise her; Beth was always a light-weight. She walked up and stood shoulder to shoulder with him.

“Oh, you think it’s that girl?” She pointed to a beautiful woman with dark curly hair

“Nah, that’s Karen, Tyreese’s girl” he grumbled taking the last sip of his beer, still scanning .

“Aw shit, it better not be pigtails over there” he gestured with his empty bottle. Beth looked in the direction and started giggling.

“I know her!” She exclaimed, spilling a bit of her beer as she spoke “That’s Rosita. I don’t think it’s her though, last I heard she had a serious boyfriend.”

Beth licked the spilled beer from her hands and took another gulp. She felt him stare at her as she did that but at that moment Beth couldn’t drum up the energy to feel embarrassed.

“This is fucking ridiculous” he turned around after a few seconds and took Beth’s bottle from her hands taking a very generous drink. She laughed and took it back “Hey, it’s not my fault you’re trying to fight love. Go get your own!”

Daryl grunted something under his breath and went back to the refrigerator just as Michonne returned.

She froze when she saw them both. Beth smiled shyly as she waved her bottled hand and took a big gulp. Daryl turned to look at Michonne and nodded in greeting as he pulled the cap off and took another swig.

“Oh, so I see Rick got to both of you.” Michonne reached across Daryl and grabbed her own bottle.

Daryl narrowed is eyes in confusion at Michonne and Beth couldn’t help it any longer. She burst out laughing as she stepped into his space and wrapped her arms around him.

“Meet your ‘sweet girl’” she sang to him “and wouldn’t you know it, I was here in front of you the whole time.”

Michonne let out a loud laugh as Daryl processed what Beth was telling him. He raised his head and chuckled loudly as he wrapped his arms around her and played along “So this is where you’ve been my whole life, huh?” Beth nodded keeping her head tightly pressed to his chest.

“I see you’re a happy drunk” He looked down at her, still with his hands on her back.

She nodded again as she looked at Michonne “We know each other” she whispered loudly from Daryl’s arms. Michonne smiled and raised her beer at them as Rick walked into the kitchen.

“There you two are, I’ve been-“ he stopped when he realized the scene in front of him. Michonne laughed as she handed Rick her beer.

For whatever reason, Beth wasn’t bothered by Rick’s match making attempts anymore.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big BIG thank you to all of you! You have no idea how much all the kuddos and reviews mean to me! I love you all so so much!!
> 
> By the by, if any of you have a Tumblr account, I have a companion blog. Its certainty-fanfic if you're ever bored.


	21. So Lucky

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a little “eh” so in an effort to make it less “eh” I decided to break it up into two chapters. Don’t you worry though, that means I’ll be posting chapter 22 really soon! Like, within five minutes soon….

Although the sun was beginning to set, the summer heat was at full blast without any hope of giving the party a reprieve. Beth went to the giant ice chest and pulled out a water bottle, chugging half of it without stopping to take a breath. She removed the drink from her lips as she reached down for water and made her way towards the sand box.

“Here you go Muck, drink up” she squatted next to her nephew and handed him the half empty water bottle.

“Ugh, not again” he whined reaching for it and taking a few sips.

“Don’t ugh me, drink up. I don’t want you getting dehydrated.  Gulp, gulp” she gently pushed the bottle back into his mouth forcing him to drink more. This was the fifth time she had approached him, and every time he acted as if it was the biggest nuisance his aunt could give him.

“Okay, here I’m all done.” He handed the empty bottle back to her, and she replaced it with the full one. “I’ll tell you what kid, if you promise to finish this one on your own, I promise I won’t bug you until it’s time to light the fireworks. Deal?”

He responded by taking the bottle and putting it next to him. She smiled and kissed his forehead as she stood and began to walk away.

“Hey Aunt Bethy?” He called out as she was a few feet away. She turned and smiled down at him

“Is that man your boyfriend?” Beth felt her face grow red and turned to look at Daryl who was standing next to Rick and Michonne engaged in conversation.

“Why do you ask that, Muck?”

Michael shrugged and went back to digging his trenches.

“He looks like the man Charlie saw.” He answered nonchalantly. “When mommy and him went to go visit you.”

Beth walked back to him and tried to ignore the other kid’s stares.

“And how do you know he looks like the man Charlie saw?” She whispered.

“Charlie says he was old and you smiled at him a lot.” Beth heard two girls giggling behind them. She turned and recognized them as Lizzie and Mika, Abraham’s daughters, who quickly ran off when they were caught eavesdropping. She turned her attention back to her nephew.

“And you’re smiling a lot now.” He continued “Are you in love like mom and dad are?”

Rather than have this conversation with her nephew, she went down and gave him another kiss. “Daryl’s not old” was all she said before smiling and prompting him to drink some more water.

Thankfully Michael was called over by Trevin, distracting him from further questions.  She sighed and stood up, dusting the sand off her jean shorts. She looked down at her chest and realized she had gotten some sand on there as well. She was wearing a shear tunic over a red tank top, so she wondered how the sand managed to stick to her skin. She brushed off the sand from her breasts and then smoothed the blouse before looking up and seeing Daryl staring at her.

 _Of course_ she thought as she made eye contact. He looked embarrassed to be caught and quickly looked away, causing her to laugh as she shook her head and went back to stand next to him.

“The kids okay?” Asked Michonne once Beth joined them. She nodded and took the drink Daryl handed her. She had been drinking all day, but she was being good and keeping a steady buzz rather than getting full on drunk. She was awkward enough as it was, and she didn’t need the alcohol to accentuate it.

Daryl leaned in and filled her in on the plan for the rest of the evening. “Rick was thinking we should get the kids together now and have them light their sparks.” She felt the familiar buzz in her head as she felt his breath on her skin. She then remembered that people seemed to be focusing their attention a lot on them, especially after learning of Rick’s attempt to set them up, so she tried to keep her composure.

She turned and saw Rosita smiling at her and Beth realized she had failed. She was surprised to be having such a great time, despite her earlier disappointment when she learned Sasha wasn’t going to make it. Still, she found herself entertained by the fiery Latina who was currently sitting on her boyfriend Gareth’s lap. Gareth was the “cannibal” she had originally assumed Rick was trying to set her up with, but it turned out he was a friendly guy who worked with Tyreese.

Many of the adults began herding the children to the front yard to begin their fire work display.  All the fathers started taking the fireworks out of the packages while the women sat on the lawn and watched. At one point Karen suggested helping the men out, especially when Ty began struggling with their son’s rocket pack, but Michonne dismissed it. “This is our time to relax” she said as she handed baby Cadie to Daryl. 

Beth admired how much of a natural Daryl was with the infant, telling her how lazy Michonne was and how Cadie was lucky to have him. Michonne swatted his arm which made Daryl laugh and say some more colorful things to the baby. Cadie was very attentive, cooing back at him in apparent agreement to whatever he was saying.

“Hey Beth” Rosita scooted a lawn chair next to her and leaned into her ear “Beth watch it girl, you got some drool on your chin” she went to wipe it off causing Beth to shriek and laugh at the personal space intrusion.

“Stop it, let me have a moment” Beth scolded as she swatted Rosita’s hands away, causing her to grin even wider.

“That is quite a sight though” Rosita sighed as both women stared at Daryl and Cadie.

“I’m right here you know” Gareth grunted with an unlit cigarette caught between his lips.

“I know you are baby,” she turned and patted his arm affectionately and turned back to look at him. Beth laughed drawing Daryl’s attention to them. Beth smiled at him and waved which led Daryl to grab Cadies hand and wave it back to her. Right then, Muck’s comments from earlier came to mind. _I guess I have been smiling a lot._

* * *

Rick’s home was close enough to the university that they could watch the annual fireworks display the city put on without having to deal with the crowds.  After a good hour and a half of boxed fireworks, most of the party started walking out towards a small park at the end of the block. The grassy field was supposed to have a great view of the firework and Michael was practically pushing Glenn to move faster so that they wouldn’t miss the show.

“Don’t worry Michael, there’s no way you’ll miss it.” Rick tried to assure him, ruffling his hair as he walked by. Muck pouted and grabbed his dad’s hand, clearly not convinced, pulling him harder towards the park.

“He misses Carl” Michonne whispered as her, Daryl, and Beth walked a few feet behind them.

“When does he get back?” Daryl asked

“Lori is going to drive them up from Brunswick next Friday. Rick took off a few days so he could spend some quality time with him before the semester starts.” She turned to Beth who was currently holding Cadie.

“When he gets back tell him to come visit me at the library” Beth gave Cadie a big kiss before handing her back to her mother “I can set aside some books for him so he doesn’t have to spend so much buying them. We have a really good lending system, but its first come first serve.”

“Good to know we have someone on the inside” Daryl playfully nudged Beth’s shoulders with his own. Michonne smiled her thousand watt smile as she looked at them both. “What do you know, my husband was right. Usually he’s terrible at that sort of thing.”

She winked and picked up her speed to catch up to Rick. Beth watched as he put his arm around Michonne and leaned down to kiss their daughter.  Beth looked further ahead towards Glenn and Tyreese who were laughing together about something while the young girls ran literal circles around them. She looked up and saw that the stars were starting to become clearer as the night darkened, and a perfect crescent moon hovered directly above them.

_These are the moments that keep me here with you…_

“Uh, Beth?”

She jumped at Dary’s words, not realizing that her mind had wandered so far.

“Do you know why your nephew keeps looking back at us and laughing?”

Beth frowned and turned towards Muck. Sure enough he was staring with a big ole grin, not embarrassed at all that he’d been caught.

“Oh its nothing.” She turned back to Daryl “He’s just curious about you ‘cause he says you’re my boyfriend.”

Daryl raised his eyebrows.

_Really, Greene? Really?!?!?_

“He’s five!” She tried to clarify “and he knows that you’re my boy and a friend so naturally he’s going-“ she stopped when she saw his lips twitch into a half- smile.

“I mean you’re _A_ boy, and _MY_ friend” she corrected herself, hoping it was dark enough to hide some of her blushing.

“Okay, I got it” he lifted his hands in mock surrender. Beth rolled her eyes and focused forward instead.

“So, boyfriend, huh?” He asked after a few beats.

Beth giggled and turned to him “You should be so lucky.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm posting the next chapter as we speak!!


	22. A Song Just for Them

The fireworks display was magnificent, a shower of colors exploding every few seconds. The adults were mesmerized, while the kids shouted after every eruption. It went on for over an hour before the last set was released to the sky. By that point most of the kids were exhausted whereas the adults seemed to be re-energized. The walk back to the Grime’s home was quieter with many of the children being held by their parents.

“I think it’s time to take Michael home” Glenn said as they got back to the house. He was carrying a sleeping Michael across his chest.

“What was your first hint?” Beth smiled as she smoothed Muck’s t-shirt back. She looked around and saw many of the adults going through the same motions of getting their things and heading out.

“Just give me a second to grab my stuff and say goodbye.” She walked up the front yard and let herself in through the front door. As she stepped into the dining room she got an eyeful. Daryl and Abraham were in the middle of an arm wrestling match while Karen, Gareth, and Rosita cheered them on.   

“Whoever loses has to drink whatever is left over from all those beer glasses left on the table” Rick explained to her as he approached her.

That was the most disgusting thing she’d ever heard and her face must have reflected that because Rick began to laugh at her expression.

“I don’t understand men.” She sighed and turned to Rick “Where’s Michonne, I wanted to say goodbye to her before I leave.”

“You leaving?” Daryl asked as he turned to look at her. That distraction was all Abe needed as he quickly pushed Daryl’s arm down.

Both Rick and Beth groaned at the same moment, making it clear they had been rooting for the professor.

“You should stay Beth, we’re setting up the beer pong table in the back.” Rosita called out as she stood and made her way towards the back porch.

“Excuse me, we don’t play beer pong here” Michonne interrupted as she came down the stairs, a baby monitor in her hand.

“We play sophisticated games because we are sophisticated people” she handed Rick the baby monitor and then turned to Beth. “We’re playing Flip-Cup.”

Beth wasn’t much into alcohol-themed games, but that was one she actually enjoyed and for a second she was disappointed that she had to miss it.

Michonne nudged Rick a little before looking at her with a knowing grin

“We can drive you home if you’d like to stay” Rick offered.

“That’s okay, I can take her home. I know where she lives” Daryl came up to them twisting his right arm, clearly sore from his loss.

“That settles it, Beth you’re on my team” Michonne smiled as she headed outside to join the crowd.

Rick chuckled as he went to follow his wife “We don’t get to spend time with friends like this very often” he said as explanation as he gestured towards Michonne.

Although Beth was excited to spend some more time with her friends, she wasn’t exactly in the mood to continue drinking.  She excused herself for a minute to tell Glenn about the change of plans, punching him in the arm when he insinuated something about her ride home. Once back inside, she made a bee line to Daryl.

“Daryl, I don’t think I can drink anymore tonight” she said after finding him in the backyard. He lowered his eyes slightly and smiled. He handed her the bottle he was currently drinking from and encouraged her to take a sip.

“Its water” she said after she swallowed.

“I’ve got shit to do tomorrow” he said as he took it back “and I’m too old to be hung-over after a party.”

He put his hand on the small of her back and led her to the large table. Whoever had organized the game had decided it would be men versus women, so Beth took a seat in between Lily and Haley, two of Michonne’s friends.  Daryl sat across from Beth, essentially making them compete against each other. He reached over and took the plastic cup in front of her and poured a bit of his “beer” into it. He winked as he gave it back to her, quickly filling up his own. Beth grinned as she looked down at the water. _My hero_ she mouthed at him causing him to wink again _._

Rick waited until everyone was ready, the crowd of adults laughing like idiots with excitement. He slammed his hand on the table, signaling the start of the game. Gareth and Rosita were first, and downed their drinks before placing their cups upside down and attempting to flip them back into place. After a few tries, both succeeded prompting Ty and Karen to take their turn. Everyone was laughing and cheering their side on. Within seconds, it was Abraham and his wife’s turn to chug their drinks and flip their cups over. When it came time to Haley and another man Beth didn’t know, she turned to Daryl and grinned knowing their turn would soon come. Haley and her partner finished as the same time and in unison Beth and Daryl grabbed their cups and chugged their waters. Both slammed the cups down at the same time and attempted to flip them. Beth flipped hers successfully on the first try and quickly looked up to see Daryl struggling with his. She ignored Lily’s attempt next to her and kept staring at Daryl, laughing hysterically every time his cup fell over.

“Come on man, you’re killing us!” Gareth was standing and yelling at him.

“Shut the fuck up!” Daryl grunted as he leaned down to pick up his cup again.

“Hey Daryl, haven’t you been single for a while?” Abraham was laughing from his seat. “I’d a figured you’d have a lot of practice flicking that wrist of yours by now.”

Daryl ignored the wails of laughter and after a few more tries was able flip the cup over. He stood with both arms raised in victory, but it was too late as Michonne, like Beth, flipped her cup on the first try, sealing the women’s victory. They all cheered and congratulated each other as Rick went over and high-fived his wife. After several more rounds, Beth felt Daryl kicking his foot gently against hers under the table.

“You ready to head out?” Daryl asked as he leaned over. Beth sighed and nodded, suddenly feeling a little sleepy.  Even though she could feel her body start shutting down, this was the most fun she’d had in a very long time, and she was a little hesitant to let it go.

* * *

 

It probably took both Beth and Daryl a good half hour to actually leave. Rick was concerned about how much Daryl had to drink until he confessed that he’d been drinking water and fruit punch for the last few hours. Beth helped Michonne clean up some before she was practically pushed out the door. She made sure to say goodbye to everyone at the party, the least she could do since they all made her feel so welcomed and happy. With one final hug from Michonne, they were out the door and headed into the driveway and towards Daryl’s truck. Once inside she leaned on the glass and closed her eyes for a second, reflecting back on her day. 

_These are the moments that keep me here with you/No matter how deep I’ve fallen, you always see me through..._

She was brought back to the present with the slamming of Daryl’s door. She slowly turned and smiled a shy smile that he reciprocated.

 

“Thanks for the ride”

“It’s nothing” he mumbled as he pulled the truck out of the driveway. She leaned back against the glass and watched the night pass by; seeing flashes of light every few minutes indicating fireworks were still being lit across town. She turned to look at him and noticed he was biting his thumb. Maybe it was the little bit of alcohol that was still in her system, or maybe it was the comfort she now felt around him.

Regardless of what it was, she dared to ask him “What’s on your mind?”

He didn’t answer right away, almost as if he was debating what to say.

“Was wondering how tired you were.”

Beth stared at him for a second. That was not at all what she was expecting.

“I’m pretty tired, but not exhausted. Why?”

He took a deep breath as they came to a stop sign. He kept the truck there for longer than necessary and then turned to her.

“We’ll be driving by the college and I kind of wanted to check up on the greenhouse. That way I wouldn’t have to worry about it tomorrow.”

“Oh,” Beth said as she looked over to the direction of the college.

“Never mind, I’ll go tomorrow” he turned on the left hand signal that would lead towards Beth’s apartment.

“No, that’s okay.” Beth sat up straighter, the exhaustion she lied about earlier leaving her entirely. “I’d love to see it.”

“It’s late.”

“It’s after one in the morning. Technically it’s early.” She smiled at the old joke. He looked at her with those familiar hooded eyes before nodding. He flipped up the turn signal and turned to the right , driving them to the college.

* * *

 

She had been expecting him to pull up to the parking lot, but instead Daryl took some backwards entrance that led him directly onto the campus. She supposed that made sense. It was the middle of the night, and it wasn’t likely there would be many people walking around. As they drove through the campus, a light to their right caught both of their attention. He stopped in the middle of the walkway and Beth rolled down her window. They both heard the sounds of music coming from the direction of their theater.

“They must be practicing their play.” He concluded and Beth nodded in agreement. She turned and looked at him, a huge grin on her face. He took one look at her and rolled his eyes, turning the truck towards the arena, following the sounds of the music. He pulled over a few feet away from the theater entrance and Beth quickly jumped out, looking towards Daryl and gesturing him to hurry. When he came within arms distance, she grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the arena. It wasn’t necessary, both knew exactly where to go.

There were six students on the stage area, two of them with guitars and four behind them practicing an elaborate dance.

Beth slowed down as she took in the sight, swaying gently to the guitars. Daryl took the lead just then and brought them to their usual siting spot, gently pulling her down to sit next to him. The night had gotten cooler than typical for a summer night, and Beth felt the goose bumps on her arms as she leaned onto Daryl, feeling his warmth carry over to her. She closed her eyes and leaned on his shoulder as she felt his fingers entwined with hers, getting lost in the song.

_“And here I am, softer than a shower_

_And here I am to garner you with flowers”_

 

“It’s beautiful” she whispered against his shoulder. She felt him nod against her as she opened her eyes, still focusing on the musicians. It was intimate, almost as if they were playing a song just for them, how else could anyone explain the perfection of this moment.

 

_“And take my hand and cradle it in your hand_

_And take my hand, to feel the pull the quicksand_

_I lay you down, In clover bed  
The stars a roof, above our heads”_

 

“I think we should come see the show when it opens” She suggested, proud of her boldness, but even more proud of knowing she’d be okay if he said no.

 

“Was thinking the same thing” he responded, still watching them perform. She smiled and gently moved away from him, standing and pulling him with her, their hand still connected.

 

“Well then, let’s leave now so we don’t get further spoiled.” He nodded down at her and she gently pulled him on, leading them both back to his truck. Once there, he opened the door for her and watched her get in. As she got comfortable she looked up at him and found him staring at her. She kept her eyes on him for a moment before looking down at her hand, the one that had been holding on to his for so long. He closed the door and made his way to the driver’s side as she willed her heart to slow down.

 

The look he had given her was haunting, one he’d never given her before. It was different then when she caught him staring at her at the party earlier. It was different than the one from Carol’s birthday. It was even different than the one so long ago after her and Shane had broken up.

 

For the first time in what seemed like forever, she felt nervous around him.  It all came rushing back to her…the longing, the need, the desire she’d try to push away so many times. There was something else, something new, something she couldn’t identify, and that was where her nervousness came from. Was it possible that he was feeling it too?

 

She was so busy trying to figure it all out that she hadn’t realized they had gotten to the greenhouse until he turned off the engine.  She let him walk up to the entrance and waited until he unlocked the door before she stepped out of the truck, almost as if she knew that he also needed a moment to process. She closed the truck door behind her and slowly walked up to him, watching him tense up for a second before turning to her and smiling. He stepped aside and let her go in front of him. She took a few steps in before the lights turned on.

 

“Oh.” She said simply, disappointment obvious in her tone. Daryl laughed and she was happy to see his shoulders relax.

 

“This is utilities entrance, all the floras are on the other side.” He went into another room and gestured her to follow him. The room was filled with pipes and hoses running all over the walls and floor, with knobs and computers placed throughout the room. She wondered how the computers worked in there considering it was so humid. She watched him go through various controllers, twisting some and passing by others, checking the valves that ran across the white pipes, and undoing a few hoses that had knotted together. He stopped at one of the computers and clicked on the keyboard before nodding to himself and shutting it off. After doing the same thing to another computer, he came up to her and smiled.

 

“You ready?”

 

* * *

 

She was not ready, she realized, as she walked around the giant greenhouse she had heard so much about. It was absolutely stunning, nothing like she had imagined. It was roughly the size of a football field, but somehow, once inside, it appeared to be smaller. The plants were lined along either side, separated by a pathway made of stone that was wide enough for two people to walk on side by side. On the ground, small wooden posts lined the path meant as protection to keep the flora from being trampled on.  The plants, flowers, and trees were lined in a form of a maze, forming left and ride turns every few feet, though leading in a single direction. Beth noticed all the signs posted prohibiting people from touching any of the plants or stepping off the pathway.

 

The greenhouse was divided into sections depending on what type of atmosphere helped the flora grow, each separated by double glass doors. One section of the greenhouse was cool and dry, while another was hot and humid.  They were currently in the “Georgia” section, where the weather inside reflected the weather outside, harboring plants that were native to the state as well as every day plants that could be found anywhere.  People from the community weren’t allowed inside unless a member of the greenhouse committee was with them, though students had more privileges and could visit as they please. The strict rules were to keep the integrity of the building as a resource for educational purposes and student growth.

 

Beth learned all of this as she followed Daryl throughout the greenhouse. He was patient with her, answering all her questions about the plants and flowers in each section, not once giving her a hard time when she tried unsuccessfully to read out loud the scientific names for the plants.  It wasn’t until Beth let out a loud yawn that he stopped and shook his head at her, chuckling quietly at her discomfort. He kept asking if she was tired, and she kept denying it. It appeared she couldn’t hide it anymore.  He stepped behind one of the flower bushes, ignoring her taunts that he was breaking the rules, and came out with two orange buckets. He placed them upside down next to each other and gestured for her to sit as he sat on his own. They were shoulder to shoulder facing the flowers each facing a different direction.

 

“This is where I got the flowers for Carol” he said as he gestured behind him. She turned her head and saw the familiar color of zinnia.

 

“In memory of an absent friend” she remembered Daryl’s words from a week ago.  She turned back and saw the large set of orange blossoms right in front of them. She hovered her hand over the delicate white flowers smiling to herself before turning to Daryl.

 

“We grow them here before planting them around campus. Make sure they start out strong.” She nodded and turned back to them, feeling herself grow red when she remembered a long time ago when he had shared his orange with her. In her mind, oranges were their official fruit.

 

“Does the orange blossom have any meanings?” She asked.

 

He looked down for a second before turning back to the orange blossom.

 

“Uh, yeah, but I –“ he started biting his thumb again. “I can’t remember what it is.”

 

She turned back to the flower when she became aware of how close they were too each other, practically face to face. Looking at the shrub, she admired its simple beauty, soft white petals lying in a bed of green. She turned to look at Daryl and felt her heart skip a beat.

 

There it was, the look in his eyes that was literally taking her breath away. The look that she had wanted to see from him since the first moment they met. The look she selfishly wanted from him every time after.  

 

She took a deep breath she knew she needed, and let it out slowly, not once looking away. She wasn’t going to look away anymore. They were past this.

 

“We should probably head out.” He said, voice almost horse but warm on her skin.

 

“Okay” she whispered back. When neither of them moved Beth knew this was how it was supposed to be.

 

She turned her upper body towards him, slowly, and placed her hands on his chest. She took another slow breath and leaned further towards him, almost resting her forehead on his but not quite. She looked down and focused on his shirt, the white lettering a contrast over the black. Daryl’s breath was slow and even, and she felt every beat of his heart, signs that made her stronger, proof they were in the present.

_These are the moments that keep me here with you/No matter how deep I’ve fallen, you always see me through/You tell me I’m your tether, I ground you here with me/Together we’re an anchor, a safety in the sea._

She closed her eyes as the poem continued to sing in her head, a reminder of life that always soothed her. A poem that always came to her when experiencing a moment of pure bliss.

She squeezed her eyes tighter and leaned further so that their foreheads were finally touching. She opened her eyes, still focused downward. A second later she felt his arms rise as he placed his hands on her cheeks, cradling her face. She looked up to meet his eyes, and he closed his. Daryl leaned in and used his lips to touch hers, pressing gently or without haste. His lips felt soft on her own, and neither moved, frozen in place. After a few seconds he pulled back just a bit and did it again, as if testing to see if she was real. When he pulled back once more, she placed her hands on top of his and followed him forward, taking the lead this time. When their lips met the final time, they both gave in and Beth felt Daryl’s lips moving against hers.

At first the kiss was chaste, almost shy. Within moments both grew more confident, and the kiss intensified as if they'd been lovers for years. Beth’s hands moved forward and tangled in his hair, as Daryl's slid down her lower back, pushing her slightly forward. Their heads tilted in opposite directions, further deepening the kiss and Beth felt no embarrassment when she moaned in pleasure at the change. With Daryl’s encouraging hands, Beth came off her bucket and managed to crawl on top of him, neither breaking contact. With her new position, straddling his lap, their height difference was switched, making them change the angle of their kiss, something that thrilled Beth beyond words.

Beth heard a humming in the background, sure it was the butterflies that were soaring in euphoria. She was too enraptured with Daryl to care. When the sound got louder, Daryl pulled back suddenly, mumbling a curse word before standing in a flash, and pulled Beth with him. Almost immediately the sprinklers went off underneath the plants, soaking Daryl and Beth from the waist down.

Beth still had her arms around Daryl’s neck and was thankful for his arms around her waist, because she was laughing so hard she didn't think she’d be able to stand on her own. As she regained her composure she looked up at him and gave him a goofy smile. He leaned down and tightened his arms around her and she melted into his embrace.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: The Hazards of Love 3: Wager all The Decemberists


	23. Truly Wonderful

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cause we totally needed something sweet after that devastating MSP, am I right?!

“Come on, one floor left to go” Beth encouraged Daryl as they both turned the corner of her apartment stairway.

“We’re almost there!”

She turned to see Daryl holding one finger up, gesturing her to wait as he leaned on the wall trying to catch his breath. Beth started laughing, something she realized she’d been doing a lot that day; even more so during the last hour.

“It was your idea to take the stairs” she reminded him as she went back down a couple of steps to reach him.

“Yeah, ‘cause if we’d taken the elevator I’d have fallen asleep on the way up” he grumbled which made her laugh harder.

They had arrived at her apartment a little before four in the morning and she was exhausted beyond belief.  Even so, she had been dreading that moment all day, the moment when they would have to go their separate ways, so she greedily enjoyed his suffering, taking advantage of those last minutes together.

“Just pretend we’re on one of those hikes you like to go on” she teased. They had learned a lot about each other that evening, and Beth made sure to absorb every bit of knowledge he had thrown her way.

She grabbed his hand and pulled him up the stairs to follow her as they turned the corner moving up the next floor.

“I’m not wearing my hiking boots,” he grunted as he let Beth pull him up the steps “plus I’m getting too old to stay up so late.”

“Now Daryl, I thought we agreed earlier that even though you’re 44, technically I’m older than you” she heard him chuckle as he remembered their earlier conversation. They had joked that because Beth preferred to spend Friday nights reading at home, was usually in bed by 9, and felt her knees ache when it got cold that made her the senior of the two.

“So if an old biddy like me can make it up four flights of stairs,” they came to a stop as they reached her floor “it should be nothing for a young buck like you” she quoted his earlier words back to him as she turned to face him. He grinned and let go of her hand, moving it to play with the ends of her hair as his other hand gently gripped her left hip. She felt herself lean back on the door, holding his stare as long as he held hers.

“There you go ‘sassing me again” he leaned close, less than an inch away from her face.

“It’s what I do best” she teased back as she raised her chin in defiance. He grinned wider and lowered his lips to hers, initiating a kiss that made her lose whatever cool she may have had left. She wrapped her hands around his neck and pulled herself closer to him, wanting to feel every inch of Daryl pressing all over her body as their wonted kiss continued.

“So, an old biddy you say?” He exhaled after they broke apart. Beth shrugged and turned around,  opening the fourth floor door before taking his hand again to lead him towards her apartment.

Beth sighed quietly as they got to her door. She flung her purse forward to dig out her keys, still stalling as much as she could. A quick sigh from him turned her attention back to her professor as she saw him try to stifle a yawn. She giggled at that sight, it really was late.

“Got ‘em.” She announced as she pulled them out making eye contact with him. “You’ve got me home in one piece, so your services are officially over.”

She smiled sweetly at him, feeling a little shy once again. She looked down to avoid that gaze of his, knowing that if she stared back she’d never want to leave his side. As she glanced down, she had noticed that his pants hadn’t completely dried from their time at the greenhouse. In an effort to shield her, he had gotten most of the water on him when the sprinklers had gone off.

“I’m so sorry about your pants again” she halfheartedly apologized, grinning widely at the memory.

He reached out and gently massaged the back of her head. “So sorry I probably gave you a concussion” he whispered back. She felt her face turn red at the memory from earlier when, on their way to her apartment, they had taken advantage of a red light. In their excitement, they hadn’t properly gauged the space in his truck causing him to accidently bump Beth’s head onto the passenger window as he pushed his lips against hers. It hadn’t mattered to her; it had been an amazing kiss.

As she, once again, laughed at that memory, she ducked her head onto his chest in a feeble attempt to stifle her laughter. She felt his hand continue its soothing stroke on her scalp as his other hand drew lazy circles on her back. She closed her eyes and smiled to herself.

_Is this real?_

With another soft sigh she pulled back and stared into his clear eyes. She got on her toes and pressed her lips softly on his, a chaste kiss in comparison to the many kisses they had shared that night. She pulled back and smiled wide at him, feeling the butterflies continue their dance as he rewarded her with his own smile. She took a hesitant step backwards and turned to unlock her door, feeling silly at the realization that she was already missing him.

“Thank you for a wonderful…”

  _Day? Night? Journey?_

She wasn’t sure what she was grateful for, but he must have sensed it as he leaned down towards her and gifted her with his own chaste kiss.

“Thank _you_ for a wonderful” he stated with a smile.  

She signed deeply as she looked into his eyes one last time. She placed her hand on his cheek just to make sure, to be certain, that this was all real. He leaned into her touch as he closed his eyes, confirming the moment for the both of them.

Reluctantly she dropped her hand and turned around to open her door, stepping through the threshold before turning back to him.

“Have a good night.”

He grinned again. “Have a good morning” he replied.

Neither moved.

“See you on Monday?” She asked feeling the shyness return.

“You bet.”

She smiled wide as he started walking backwards, away from her but still watching.

“You should take the elevator” she called out when he was several feet away. She just couldn’t help herself.

He chuckled. “Always sassin’ me, girl” he responded before he turned around and walked away.

She closed the door and leaned on it just like she’d seen in all those terrible romantic movies Amy would make her watch. But in that instant she understood the feeling as she closed her eyes and replayed the last 12 hours in her head.

It had been a glorious day.

A loud yawn escaped her reminding her she was indeed real and not a character from a movie. And real people needed sleep so she pushed herself away from the door and headed towards her room.

_Okay Greene. You have until you get to your bedroom to freak out. After that you have to calm down._

Beth started bouncing up and down, bursting into giggles as she skipped to her room. She stopped a few feet away and brought her hands to her lips, closing her eyes, and remembering every sensation she felt when his lips were on hers.

_His lips were on mine!_

She started jumping in glee again, not caring for a second at how silly she was acting. She was happy. Really, truly, happy. _The hell with how I’m acting_.

She settled down and walked the last few feet to her room, turning on the radio as she removed her clothes and went to put on her pajamas. As she started to pull her hair up into a pony tail, she felt a flower fall between her fingers. It was an orange blossom Daryl had plucked from the greenhouse right before they left. He had gently placed it behind her ear telling her it would bring her luck. She couldn’t believe she had forgotten such a thing. She placed it carefully on her night stand as she crawled into bed, still a little sticky from a day of sweating, laughing, drinking, and just enjoyment.

_Life is wonderful_ she thought to herself as she stared at the simple white petals lying on top of her books. She closed her eyes and sighed deeply as she felt the pull of sleep claiming her. Her last memory of orange blossoms blooming around her.

* * *

It was seven in the morning when Beth woke up, feeling groggy and knowing she needed at least five more hours of sleep. She knew that if she didn’t get up at that moment she would not leave her bedroom all day. Luckily she had a long holiday weekend ahead of her and plenty of time to catch up on sleep. Besides, she knew her borderline delirium had been worth it.

She reached for her phone, beginning the self-debate as to whether or not to call Daryl when she noticed she had a text message from Maggie.

_Of course._

She tapped the screen to open the message and groaned when she read it.

_You come to the house the MINUTE you see this message._

“Oh Maggie” she sighed out loud as she typed her response.

_Sure thing Mags, let me click my red heels and I’ll be right there._

_Elizabeth Greene. Get your ass here NOW!_

_Hold on, I’m looking for a portkey._

_ASS. HERE. NOW._

_So when you say “now,” what exactly is it that you mean?_

_NOW!_

“Yes ma’am” she addressed the phone, deciding to give her sister a break. She knew Glenn had to have spilled the beans about Daryl taking her home the night before, and Beth would have given anything to have seen her sister’s reaction to that. Of course Maggie would want all the details, and she was happy to share them with her. If anyone was going to be happy at the turn of events the night had taken, it would definitely be her older sister.

_Doesn’t mean I can’t have any fun at her expense_ she thought as she collected her things and got ready for the world’s longest shower.

A few hours later Beth was pulling into the Rhee household. Right before she had a chance to step out, she saw her older sister come out of the house, putting her sunglasses on, and heading towards Beth’s truck.

“Get back in that truck Beth, we’re going out.” She said as she opened the passenger door and let herself in. Beth climbed back into her seat and looked at her sister trying to decipher what was going on.

“Maggie, what are you-“

“Nuh-uh! Turn that engine back on and drive” Maggie instructed.

Beth did as she was told as she pulled out of the driveway.

“I don’t-“

“No talking until we get there” Maggie interrupted, keeping her focus forward, no indication as to what was going through her mind.

Beth drove in silence, no clue as to where they were going. She figured she might as well drive down town, that being a safe bet.

“Glenn and I got into a fight last night because of you” Maggie stated still not looking at her.

“What? Why?” Glenn and Maggie rarely fought, so her sister’s admission was very much out of the norm.

“He wouldn’t tell me anything about you and Daryl. Said I’d have to wait to hear it from you.” Her sister’s voice sounded irritated and Beth couldn’t help but laugh.

“Glenn just crawled into bed and said ‘Daryl took Beth home tonight’” Maggie shook her head at the memory.

“Wow, he makes it sound so scandalous. Daryl was-“

“I said no talking until we get there!” Maggie interrupted again, causing Beth to turn to her and roll her eyes.

“Where exactly is there?” She asked after a few more minutes of silence.

Maggie finally turned to her sister and smiled “Sanctuary.”

* * *

Sanctuary was a local brewery that had a great selection of home brewed beers and a surprisingly decent selection of food. Beth ordered her usual salad with a side of cheese fries, while Maggie got the House Burger. Beth wrinkled her nose as her sister ordered, remembering the last time she had eaten one of their burgers she had gotten sick. For whatever reason the Sanctuary burgers were a little too rare for her liking.

After their waitress took their order, Maggie faced her sister and went into what Beth could only describe as Best Friend/Best Sister Mode.

“So” Maggie put her elbows on the table and rested her head on her hands. “How was the barbeque?” She smiled widely, raising her eyebrows a few times.

Beth rolled her eyes again.

“So I’m allowed to talk now?” She smirked.

“Yes, it’s talking time. So talk!”

“First, tell me how Chuck is doing.”

Maggie narrowed her eyes “Charlie is fine, Beth. He’s fine. Now tell me about the barbeque!”

The waitress came and dropped off the girls’ ice teas.  Beth closed her eyes and took a sip before putting her glass down “I will not tell you anything about the barbeque until you tell me how my nephew is doing.” She exclaimed with eyes still closed.

She opened them when she heard Maggie sigh.

“Glenn took him to the pediatricians this morning. He’s okay, but for sure he’ll have to get tubes in his ears.” It was amazing how easily her older sister was able to switch to mom-mode. Beth recognized the worry in her voice that was specific to when she talked about her boys.

“We knew it was coming, still wish we didn’t have to see it happen.” Maggie’s eyes had slightly lost the twinkle in them, clearly worried about her son. Beth reached out and grabbed her hand.

“You know he’ll be just fine.” She squeezed her older sister’s hand causing Maggie to smile and squeeze her hand back. “Plus Shawn got them as a kid, and look how well he turned out!”

Maggie gave her a pained look at that comment before shaking her head and taking another sip of her drink.

“Yeah, let’s not talk about how Shawn turned out.” Both sisters giggle, bringing the lightness back into their afternoon.

“Okay…you’ve tortured me enough” Maggie moved her glass to the side, giving her more room to lean forward and stare intently at her sister.

“Time to talk Beth, tell me all about it.”

Beth took a deep breath, and prepared herself to go chasing the butterflies again.

“It was…” Beth stalled, not quite sure where to start. She tried to think of a perfect jumping point when she felt her sister’s eyes on her.

“Awww Beth…” her sister was beaming at her as she placed her hands over hers. “You are so smitten, you can’t even talk!”

Beth withdrew her hands and covered her face as she felt the giggles overtake her. Maggie reached across and pulled her hands down and demanded her sister start from the very beginning. 

So Beth did.

From the second that she realized it was Rick and not Tyreese’s house they were going to. To the awkward moments when Beth went hiding in the kitchen and trying to figure out who her intended was supposed to be. To her running smack into Daryl and realizing it was him. To the hours they spent talking outside in the sun, both with the group and by themselves. To the front yard fireworks, and how all the women had laughed as the men struggled to herd all the children together. To the actual firework display where Beth and Daryl sat next to each other and how he had swept the grass from her shorts with his hands when they got up. Every little moment she could think of, she was excited to tell her sister about.

They were practically done with their food as Beth finished talking about the Flip Cup game.

“When Glenn got home last night Chuck and I were passed out. Glenn woke me up and asked about him. Right when I was about to fall back asleep he told me Daryl had been there.” Beth smiled, wishing again to have been a fly on the wall for that moment.

“Well naturally, I asked him to elaborate. But all he said was that Daryl had taken you home.”  She reached out and took a crouton from Beth’s plate. “Then he tried to go to sleep, wouldn’t give up any further information.”

Beth smiled, looking down at her cheese fries. She loved her family so much…

“So what happened after the game?” Maggie prompted her to continue.

“Well,” she picked up a fork full of cheese fries and dipped it generously into her ranch “then it was time for him to drive me home.” She smiled before she bit into her fries, looking up at her sister who had the most expectant look she’d ever seen.

“And?” Maggie emphasized the _n_ as she stared intently at her sister. Beth felt her face growing redder and she looked down, trying to hide the gigantic smile that was forming, focusing instead on chewing her food without choking.

She swallowed and looked back at her sister. “And then the night became truly wonderful.”

* * *

The rest of her holiday weekend was more or less the same. Saturday she spent the whole day with Tara and Amy, who quickly called Sasha over so that she would be in the know. While at the apartment, Andrea had showed up and demanded Beth re-tell the story, specifically about her and Daryl’s Red Light Make-Out Session, as Tara had eloquently called it.

By Sunday she was still flying high with no desire to land. She tried to be embarrassed by it, how incredibly giddy she had felt, but she couldn’t help it. It was the beginning of something new, so gosh darn it she was going to enjoy it as long as she wanted.

It certainly helped that throughout the weekend her and Daryl had been talking, either by text or actual phone calls. She had known he would be busy that entire weekend as he was spending the holiday at Meg Peletier’s home building a shed for her, so she was grateful for whatever contact she got.

_Meg keeps asking for you to come over. Told her I’m not her messenger._

Beth was back at her sister’s house watching the boys while Glenn and Maggie ran errands. Charlie had his head on her lap watching a movie while Michael was in his bedroom working on a “surprise” for the two of them.

_Yeah, you kind of are._ She typed back, smiling at the image of Meg scowling at him.

_That’s what she said too. Damn women._

She laughed which provoked Chuck to glance up at her with a frown.

“You’re laughing again Aunt Bethy. It makes my ears hurt.”

“Sorry buddy” she ruffled his hair “but like I said last time, you can lay on the other side of the couch if you’d like.” She leaned down and kissed him on his forehead.

“No, that’s okay.” Chuck turned back to the TV and snuggled further up her lap.

_How’s the kid?_

_Cranky, but okay._ She looked down at her nephew, slowly rubbing his back.

_Keep him in front of the television. Always cured me._

She laughed again and immediately apologized to Chuck. She wondered if she would have been talking to Daryl that weekend even if they hadn’t spent the Fourth of July together

They probably would have she decided. They had already become good friends, and sharing was part of the package.

_Gonna grab a bite with Meg and Susan. Call you later._

She responded with an “okay” and put her phone down as she watched the screen in front of her enjoying the movie where a giant, a pirate, and thief attempted to storm a castle.

* * *

As much as she tried to wish it away, Monday morning came and Beth found herself back in the real world which, coincidentally, looked just like the circulation desk at the library. The weekend after the fourth of July was always the start of the hustle leading up to the fall semester. Books had arrived, restoration orders were placed, and students began to sign up for the writing lectures that Beth and Tara had to give.

Both girls, along with Olga, were currently in the staff room looking over the final revisions of the Fall Semester college catalogue. For the past five years the three of them had a long-standing bet that whoever found the least mistakes in the catalogues would have to buy lunch for the other two. Much like the past five years, Olga was currently kicking their butts.

“Here’s another one.” The older woman highlighted the error in the catalogue as she spoke. “Its Ecology of Sustainability, not Sustenance” she giggled as she pointed to the page.

Tara looked up at Beth and arched an eyebrow “I feel like that’s a mistake Beth should have caught” she winked at her friend.

Olga looked at the two young women and smiled at their expression. “Oh that’s right” she turned to Beth “your gentleman friend teaches in that department doesn’t he?”

Before Beth could come up with a response that wouldn’t reduce her into a fit of nervous giggles, Patricia walked in effectively killing their mood.

“Order’s in Beth, up front” she stared directly at her, though Beth noted a warmth in her tone that was opposite of her usual surliness.

Beth stood and turned towards the two women “Don’t wait up for me, I’m pretty sure I’m stuck buying lunch again anyway.” Tara grinned at her while Olga gave her a gentle smile.

Beth stopped at her office to grab a few order forms before she made it to the front. Right before she turned the corner, her skirt got stuck on one of the book carts, causing her to almost trip on her way out. She turned and pulled her skirt free before smoothing it down as she walked out to the front desk.

“God damn Greene, you’re cute as hell when you do that.”

She looked up and swore she saw stars as she found Daryl staring at her, the biggest grin on his face. She rolled her eyes, determined not to get embarrassed at her latest hiccup.

_I am so past this_ she reminded herself as she walked up to the desk.

“There’s a reason they keep us in the back” she smiled as she placed her elbows on the desk. He mirrored her pose as they both leaned forward towards each other both grinning as if each had their own secret to share.

“It’s nice to see you Professor Dixon.”

“Likewise Baker Beth.”

She smiled wide at that, realizing that she very much enjoyed his nickname for her.

“It’s almost lunch time.” He slightly tilted his head as he looked at the clock over her shoulders.

Beth scanned around the library and noted Daryl was the only one up front.

“Did you tell Patricia you needed an order filled?”

“Nah, I told her I was here to see you and take you out to lunch. She said otherwise?”

_Well what do you know; Pat does have a heart after all._

“No, never mind. Let me grab my stuff and I’ll be right out.”

She practically ran to her office to get her purse. As she walked back out she saw Tara walking towards her desk and practically laughed at the double take Tara did when she saw Daryl. Beth waved at her friend as she followed Daryl towards the exit.

As she felt his hand on her lower back, she wondered if she had imagined the weekend. This interaction with Daryl was pretty much exactly like the ones she’d had before, except the nervousness she usually felt was replaced with a new sense of familiarity, confidence even.

She tried not to think about it too much until they reached the library elevator. She watched him press the button as he looked down at her and gave her that familiar smirk she had grown to love so much.

_Love_

He watched her go inside before he joined her less than a step behind. The moment the door closed he reached down and held her hand, weaving his fingers with hers as they stood side by side. When she turned to him, he leaned down and brought his lips to hers, gently nuzzling them with his own. She brought her free hand to his hair and gently pushed him forward, applying the perfect amount of pressure until they were engaged in a slow lazy kiss that continued as they went down the three flights.

When they broke apart she kept her eyes closed.

“It was a real, wasn’t it?”

She opened them to find him staring at her, a confused look on his face.

“’Course it was” he said with complete sincerity.

She breathed out and gently pulled him out the front door, leading them both to their little piece of heaven.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First thing: I am so sorry, I am the worst. I promise not to keep you lovely people waiting too long for the next update! I wish I had an awesome excuse for my delay, but sadly, work and life took over as they are known to do.
> 
> Second thing: I hate that I waited so long in updating because it means it has been over a month since I declared my total love and appreciation for each and every one of you. Not only do you always make me smile by just reading, but the lovely messages I get from you all just humble me. Truly…thank you!
> 
> p.s. sorry/not sorry for the Harry Potter and Princess Bride references. They make me happy!


	24. That Won't Do

She knew it was ridiculous to be nervous. She was not the first one in history to do this, but she couldn’t help it.

As much as she tried, Beth Greene was still a good-two shoes who followed the rules.  She even hated jay-walking ‘cause she knew it was against the law, for crying out loud.

Yet there she was, nervously tapping her pencil on the counter, waiting for her appointment to walk in.

It was Tuesday afternoon. Patricia was always at a board meeting on those days which was why Beth had asked him to meet her at that time. Still, that knowledge didn’t stop her from looking over her shoulders every few minutes, just in case.

She sighed at her own silliness and looked at the door, hoping he would get there soon so she could just get it all done and over with. Tara came out from the back and handed her a stack of request forms. She looked at Beth and laughed. She knew why Beth was nervous.

“Really, Beth?” She playfully swatted her shoulder before going back to her office. Beth rolled her eyes and continued tapping her pencil.

Finally after a few more minutes of waiting the library door opened and Carl walked in, looking out of place and nervous. Beth couldn’t help but smile, her protective instincts kicking in, replacing the nerves that had been riddling her.

“Hey Carl. Glad you found the library okay.” She smiled wider as he approached, recognizing the insecure stance all incoming freshman wore during their first weeks of school.

“Yeah it wasn’t hard” he responded scanning the library, apparently looking anywhere that wasn’t in her direction.

“My dad wanted me to thank you” he continued.  “It’s real nice that you’re helping me out like this.” He looked down as he took a piece of paper out of his pocket.

“It’s my pleasure Carl. Plus, it’s one of the benefits of working here” she took the paper from his hand.

In an attempt to provide further resources, as well as to lure perspective new students, the university implemented a lending library where students were able to check out textbooks from their classes rather than having to purchase them. The trouble was that professors only set aside a handful of books each semester making it a first-come first-serve deal for the students. Beth and Tara had developed the database that kept track of the books, inadvertently giving the library staff an advantage of adding whomever they wanted to the list.

Tara had only taken advantage twice, once for her sister and once for Amy. The worst offender by far had been Olga, so Beth figured adding Carl’s name wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world.  Olga was close to being a saint in Beth’s eyes, so surely it wasn’t too wrong of her to be doing it now.

Still, Beth couldn’t help but feel a bit guilty.

_Come on Bad Ass…_

“These your classes?” She asked looking down at the list. He nodded, and Beth couldn’t help but smile at the faint blush that hadn’t left his face since he walked in.

“Okay, let’s see which professors are participating in the lending library.”  Beth looked at the names and classes and immediately groaned as she crossed the first name. “Professor Kirkman is notorious for never participating in this program. I’ve also heard he can be a real jerk, so be prepared.”

She continued to look at the names, cross referencing professors and UPC numbers as she typed away. After a few minutes she was able to get Carl’s name on five out of the nine books he needed and was rewarded with a look of relief and appreciation from Carl, making any remnants of guilt she had been feeling completely dissolve. As Beth printed out the documents he would need, Carl took out his phone and called Michonne to tell her the good news. While he did that, Beth ran to the printer and back, wanting to make sure no one saw what she had just done.

“Okay, here you go” she handed him the small stack of papers, feeling slightly winded after her little sprint, but knowing it had been worth it.

“Thanks so much Beth, you’re literally the coolest.” He blushed again causing Beth to giggle as she swatted at him, telling him it was no trouble at all.

“Anything to help out a fellow alumnus” she gestured at the papers in his hand “all you gotta do now is take those papers to the campus bookstore. Go to the ‘Student Services’ kiosk and you are good to go.”

He looked up from the papers and then back down. Something caught his attention and caused him to turn to his left. Beth followed his lead but found nothing there.

“Would you like me to go with you?” She asked once she realized how out of place he suddenly looked.

Carl shrugged, still looking away “If you want, I guess.” He turned back and the blush returned full force. Beth gave him the courtesy of pretending not to notice.

She turned to tell Tara she would be back in a few and walked around, leading Carl out the door towards the elevators. Carl thanked her again as they walked outside, telling her how much it meant to the family that she was helping him out.

“My parents do okay, but college is expensive” he said as they walked towards the bookstore.

“It really is, but it’s still important, and I’m glad to help” she nudged him a little, causing him to give her a half smile.

They continued walking in silence, the sun beaming down on them still as intense as it had been all summer.

“So, how’d you like spending time with your mom?”  Beth remembered he’d recently returned from his extended visit.

“It was nice. I like it when it’s just my mom and I. And Judy. I don’t get to see her as often as I’d like.”

“Judy?”

“My baby sister. She’s mostly with her dad” he turned to look at her “She’s not, I mean, she has a different dad.” He turned and looked ahead.

_Judy? Nah, it couldn’t be…_

Beth didn’t have time to finish her thought as a random bicyclist turned a corner and nearly ran into the two.

“You can ride bikes on campus?” Carl turned and watched the woman pedal away. Beth just smiled in response.

“College is gonna be so cool.”

* * *

The bookstore was pretty empty when they got there, only a couple of students that Beth was able to see. No one was at the kiosk so she and Carl headed towards the front registers. There she found Amy laughing along with two very good looking men.

“Hey Amy” Beth said as she walked up towards them.

“Beth, what brings you here friend?”

She turned to Carl who seemed embarrassed and out of place. She felt bad for him for a second, realizing how strange the whole experience must be for him. Getting ready for college was quite the adventure regardless of the age.

“This is my friend Carl Grimes, and he’s here to pick up some books” she placed a hand on his shoulder and returned his warm smile.

“Very nice to meet you Carl Grimes, I’m Amy.” She shook his hand and gestured towards the two men standing nearby.

“This is Aaron and Eric; they’re from the drama department.”

“Nice to meet you both” Beth smiled as Amy walked around the counter towards Carl.

“It’s lovely to meet you” the one Amy had identified as Eric responded.

“Come with me Mr. Grimes. Let’s see how I can help you” Amy started to lead Carl away before she turned back to Beth “They’re putting up posters for their show. You should take some over to the library.”

Beth turned to both men who were whispering things to one another, quietly laughing at what the other was saying.

“So you gentleman are from the drama department?”

“Actually, that would be Eric here.” Aaron responded.

Eric smiled “Yes, I do tend to have a flair for the dramatic.”

Beth giggled as she made a move to look at the poster. “So what’s this show Amy was talking about?” She picked up the large colorful poster.

“The Hazards of Love?” She read as she scanned the designs.

“It’s what the drama department is producing this year.” Eric said proudly, eager to talk more about it.

 “Is this the show that’s being built at the old theater?” Beth asked.

“That would be it” Aaron placed a hand on Eric’s back.

“They usually do a Shakespearian production, but Aaron here managed to convince them to do something different.” Eric turned and smiled at him.

“I’m in marketing” Aaron explained “it was a tough sale, trying to convince a group of directors who’ve been doing the same thing for over fifty years to try something new. But it worked.”

“Well then, congratulations on that” Beth nodded in appreciation “trust me; I know what it’s like working for someone who refuses to change with the times.”

She continued to look at the poster, admiring all the beautiful designs.

“I’ve been lucky to catch sneak peeks of the show” she looked up at the men. “The surprise performance at the farmers market earlier this month was stunning.”

Both Aaron and Eric grinned.

“That was Aaron’s idea” Eric practically glowed as he said it.

“We went all around King County putting on small shows” Aaron continued “guerilla marketing at its finest.”

She smiled and looked at the poster again “Well I’ll definitely be there” she looked for the date “opening day, October 1st, I’ll be there.”

Eric rolled his eyes as she read the date “I pray to God we can open that night. One more set back and I’m cancelling the whole thing.”

Aaron just chuckled as he shook his head. “It’s been a challenge” he looked at Beth as he spoke.

“You say challenge, I say nightmare.”

Beth giggled as Aaron sighed and looked at her apologetically.

“As of last week, we didn’t even know if we’d have a proper stage” Eric continued as he took one of the posters and walked behind the register to put it up.

“What do you mean?” Beth turned and watched him work “I’ve been watching the set being built every day, it looks stunning.” Both Eric and Aaron turned and looked at her.

“I eat lunch at the arena” she said as means of explanation.

“Well prepare to see it become something amazing now that we’ll have a real taiga!”

Beth’s puzzled expression made Eric laugh. “Sorry, flair for the dramatic, remember?”

He pointed to one of the pictures on the poster. “A taiga is a forest, like this one but less colorful.”

“Eric was upset because he had wanted to use real trees and plants for the show but,” Aaron looked at Eric before continuing “we had a bit of a hiccup.”

“Apparently, someone from the science department didn’t want to share their precious flowers with us.” Eric finished as he stapled the poster to the wall.

Beth felt her stomach drop.

_Well I wonder who they may be talking about._

She was about to say something, though not sure what, before Aaron beat her to it.

“But that ‘someone’ seemed to have changed their mind, because early this week we got a call saying we were welcomed to take the plants.”

 “Oh” Beth felt her face flush and a smile slowly crept its way across her face.

_Daryl_

Something about that revelation made her heart race, made her realize something she should have figured out a while ago.

“Well,” she was suddenly feeling flustered “that was,” she cleared her throat and put a hand on one of the bookshelves by her “that was really nice of that person.” She looked up and smiled.

“It was” Eric came back around and joined the two. “They even suggested we use some of the orange blossoms for shrubbery.  Shows what they know about a magical taiga.”

Beth absolutely beamed. In the background, she heard Eric and Aaron continue talking, but she was too busy having an epiphany to pay attention.

 _The orange blossoms_.

It was all she needed to know. She smiled as she turned her attention back to the poster and closed her eyes.

 _This is the way it’s supposed to be_.

She always knew. Deep down inside, she knew….

She was unconditionally and completely in love with Daryl.

* * *

After Beth had left the bookstore with Carl, she returned to the library and tried to get a head start on cataloging a large stack of outdated books. She was about to curse the heavens about her bad luck when Daryl had called her and asked if she wanted to have dinner at his house that evening.

Beth agreed to the dinner before he had a chance to finish asking her.

Daryl lived in a small three bedroom house on the outskirts of town. It sat next to a small canal that Beth had to drive across in order to get to. Once inside the property, it was hard to see the road, there being trees and brush and a large green picket fence that kept the house out of sight.  It wasn’t exactly in the country the way Meg and Susan’s house was, but it was close. Just perfect for someone like him.

Once she shut off the engine to her truck, she felt her heart beating faster than was probably appropriate for the occasion. _It’s just dinner for crying out loud!_ She scolded herself, yet she couldn’t help feeling what she felt.

Daryl was out his front door before she undid her seatbelt, and she couldn’t wipe that goofy smile off her face the second her eyes found his.

 _Pull yourself together Greene._ She scolded herself again as she got out of the truck and walked towards him.

“Hi” he said, standing on his porch, both hands tucked away in his front pockets.

“Hi” she practically gasped as she made her way up the steps. She reached out for him at the same moment he pulled his hands out, and they wrapped their arms around each other. She felt him place a firm kiss on her cheek, the stubble on his chin creating a lovely friction against her skin.

“No,” she pulled back from him a little “that won’t do.”

She half bounced on her toes and slid her hands up his neck as she pulled him forward, catching his lips with hers. She heard his soft chuckle right before their lips met, which caused her to press further into him, a motion that Daryl immediately reciprocated. They stood there, outside Daryl’s home, for a few minutes longer engaging in the sweetest most romantic kiss Beth could ever imagine.

“We better get inside,” Daryl breathed out as they reluctantly pulled apart “dinner will get cold if we keep this up.”

“What’s for dinner?” she asked as they walked through the door.

“Spaghetti.”

“Well good, I happen to like cold spaghetti” she teased as she pecked his lips before hanging her purse on the coat rack by his front door.

He chuckled as he led her further into his home. She couldn’t help but admire the house. His furniture looked worn, but well taken care of, big brown couches that looked perfect to sleep on. The wooden floors were bare besides a large beige area rug lying in front of a modest entertainment system. His television wasn’t anything special either, not a plasma flat screen, but rather an older model right out of early 2000.

Beth made a mental note to ask him about his rumored love for reality television as she made her way towards a bookshelf to her right. There she saw several picture frames, and older picture immediately drawing her attention.

“That’s my ma’ and pop” Daryl approached her from behind as they looked at the worn out picture in the simple wooden frame.

“You look just like your mom” she whispered back. She heard him grunt as she turned to look at them.

“They live nearby?”

He shook his head. “Ma’ died when I was little.  Fire.” He pointed to his father “My old man died a few years ago.  Hepatitis of the liver.”

“That’s terrible.” Beth sighed.

“That’s life.” He gently squeezed her shoulder before going to the kitchen, leaving Beth to look at the other pictures.

“Is this you!?” She practically squealed when he came back with a couple of waters. He leaned in at the picture of two boys grinning widely next to a lake.

“Yeah, me and my brother Merle back before either of us realized what little sense we had.”

“What’s he like?” She turned around to face him.

He shrugged. “Merle’s Merle. Just wait ‘till you meet him and you’ll know what I mean.” He gently put his hand on her back and led her to the kitchen.

* * *

There were never any awkward silences. No lulls in conversation, no forced dialogue. Just genuine appreciation and enjoyment of each other’s company. That was probably one of the perks of being friends with him before they were anything else.

_These are the moments that keep me here with you…_

As their dinner was coming to an end, Beth made a comment about a large abstract painting hanging on the wall by the dinner table.

“Carol and I saw it at an estate sale” he said. “I thought it was hideous, like a dog sat on paint and wiped its ass all over the place.” He picked at his spaghetti as Beth threw her head back and laughed hysterically.

“Next thing I know, Carol’s purchasing the damn thing and nailing it to my wall.”

Beth put a napkin to her mouth as she continued to laugh.

“Oh god,” she hiccuped “That’s the best story ever. God bless Carol!” She wiped the tears that were now forming in her eyes from laughing so hard. Daryl took that as a sign she was finished with dinner and stood to take her plate.

“Damn woman, never knew when to quit.” She didn’t miss the melancholy in his tone, so she took his hand as he reached for her dish, holding it tight for a second.

“I’ll put these in the sink. Why don’t you wait for me in the living room?”

She simply nodded and gave his hand a quick squeeze before getting up.

_…no matter how deep I’ve fallen, you always see me through._

Just as she had expected, the couch was incredibly comfortable.

“I feel like I’m going to sink into it!” Beth giggled as her feet dangled a few inches from the floor.

“You probably will,” he said as he sat next to her, further sinking her between the cushions “frail thing like you will likely get gobbled up by my big bad couch.”

She rolled her eyes and took the bottle of cola he offered.

“You know, I’m stronger than you think” She said as she took a gulp.

“I don’t doubt that for a second” he stared at her, causing Beth to turn away and blush, taking another drink.

“Careful Daryl. When you say things like that, it’s gonna make me think you like me.” She turned back, glint in her eyes that had nothing to do with the beer she had earlier with dinner.

“Yeah, we can’t have you thinking that now, can we?” He leaned in and kissed her, something she’d wanted him to do all evening. She felt the familiar pull of longing as she kissed him back, feeling the wonderful friction their lips were creating. He pulled back and leaned his forehead on hers, both taking deep breaths as they continued to enjoy each other’s presence.

After a few beats, he pressed a quick kiss to her nose and stood “I almost forgot about the cheesecake Meg made that I’ve been keeping in the freezer.”

“How can you forget something like that Daryl?” She scolded. “Homemade cheesecakes are not something you cast aside and forget.”

He grinned and started heading back towards the kitchen. “Tell you what,” he pointed towards the entertainment center “pick out a movie while I bring it back, and maybe you can think about forgiving me.”

“We’ll see” she said as she attempted to gracefully move up from the couch towards the movies. She got down on her knees and opened the small door Daryl had gestured towards and began scanning the titles. As she reached for one that didn’t look too terrible, a yellow book sitting on top of them caught her eye.

She gasped quietly, realizing what it was before she actually picked it up.

It was Carol’s book. _Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders._

The book Beth had mended almost a year earlier that she had last seen at Carol’s mother’s home.

Beth leaned back on her knees as she ran her hands over the small book. A flash of emotions and memories rushed her, causing her to close her eyes and compose herself.

_5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Breathe._

Once opened again, she looked down at the book and turned it over in her hands. She had done a good job, if she did say so herself. The spine was still intact, and the cover was flawless.

She turned the book over again, and ran her fingers through the pages, fanning them lightly to make sure the binding was still strong. As the pages turned over, a note slipped out and fell onto Beth’s lap. Still in a daze, Beth read the words before she had a chance to stop herself.

_Daryl,_

_Ju_ _st_ _remember…strength isn’t always determined by the weight you can hold in your hands,_

_but rather the love you can hold in your heart._

_-Meg_

 

Beth’s hand shook a little as she put the note back between the pages. She placed the book back on its original spot and stood to return to the couch. Daryl’s cursing from the kitchen brought her back to reality, and Beth quickly turned back to the shelf and grabbed a random movie before sitting back down.

“Having trouble in there?” She called out, praying her voice sounded normal.

“Nah, It’s just too frozen, can’t really cut into it yet.” He walked back in and sat next to her. “Guess I should have remembered to take it out earlier. What you choose for us?” He took the movie from her hand, Beth’s mind still on the book.

“This really what you want to see?”

She turned and looked at the movie in his hands.

“Oh, um, yeah.”

“Dawn of the Dead? I thought you didn’t like scary movies?”

She finally turned her attention to Daryl, giving him the same gaze he had given her many times before. The crease on his forehead disappeared and he stared back with the familiar intensity she had come to crave.

Before she had an opportunity to process what she was doing, Beth felt herself moving towards him and pressing her lips hard on his. She felt his arms move to her back as she went to straddle him, trapping his lower body with her own. He pushed her further onto him until she had no choice but to rest her arms behind his head, enveloping him in every way possible. 

She didn’t allow herself to think, but rather let her senses guide her as she felt every inch of him on her.

She wasn’t sure how long they remained like that, but eventually Daryl broke their kiss for a second and rolled them over so that Beth was underneath him on the couch, still sitting upright, with her ankles linked behind his back. As Beth groaned at the change, Daryl slipped his tongue between her lips, further deepening the kiss, causing her to arch into him.

There was a moment of clarity where Beth became aware of the position they were in. She was wrapped around Daryl like a vine, whereas he was kneeling on the floor in front of her, his upper body pressed against hers. Not wanting to break apart from him for a second, she pushed forward until she felt the edge of the couch underneath her. She slowly lowered herself to the floor with him, guiding them to lay down side by side, still entangled in one another.

 

Missing the earlier contact, Beth hooked her leg over his and ran her fingers through his hair. She could have sworn she felt his body hum in response as his hand ran up and down her leg before ending on her bottom, pressing her further against him.

 

She pushed him gently again so that he was on his back with her on top. Her breathing become ragged as his hands moved gracefully up her sides before he cradled her face.

Their kiss had begun to slow down before Beth ended it. As she pulled back, she leaned her cheek on one of the hands that continued to hold her. They opened their eyes at the same moment and stared at one another, both sets of lips red and swollen, small grins mirroring each other.

 

He sat up, Beth still straddling him, so that they were inches apart from one another. He reached forward and pushed her hair back behind her ear, pulling gently on her lobe before bringing his hand to rest on shoulder.

 

“Tell me Beth,” he whispered as he scanned her face.

 

“What in the hell have you gone and done to me?”

 

She shrugged and smiled something wicked.

 

“That’s the least of your worries, Daryl”

She leaned forward and whispered in his ear.

“You should be worrying about what I’m _going_ to do to you.”

She was a woman in love.

She was now a force to be reckoned with.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You all humble me with your sweet words! Thank you so much from the very bottom of my heart!!!


	25. In His Little Corner

“Ooookay, little sister of mine. You mean to tell me that you and Daryl were making out like a couple of horny teenagers?” Beth could hear Glenn’s laughter on the other side of the line as she spoke with her sister.

 

She rolled her eyes as she slipped on her shoes, regretting the second she picked up the phone to call her.

 

“Shut it Maggie. It was fun.” Beth felt herself flush as she looked for her hair pins, cradling the phone between her ear and shoulder.

 

“I bet. I remember those crazy make out sessions I use to have with George Glass back in the day.”

 

“I’m still in the room” she heard Glenn call out, causing Beth to nearly drop the phone.

 

“And you, of course Glenn.” Beth heard Maggie’s muffled voice.

 

“So, did he give you his pin? Are you wearing his letterman jacket? Is he going to take you to the drive-in later this week?”

 

“Are you gonna make me regret telling you this stuff, Maggs?”

 

“No! I’m just kidding! Jeeze Beth, don’t get all serious on me now.” Beth switched the phone to her other side as she got out the leftover spaghetti Daryl had made her take home the night before. Just looking at it caused her to feel the butterflies.

 

“I’m just a little jealous,” Maggie continued “I remember how great the beginning of a relationship is. I’m really happy you’re finally experiencing it.”

 

Beth had been scooping the pasta into her plastic container when she froze. “What do you mean? I’ve had relationships before.”

 

“Yes, you have. But Beth,” she could practically hear her sister breathe “it sounds like this is a bit different. Don’t you think?”

 

Beth sighed heavily as she snapped the lid shut.  “Yeah, as always, you’re right Maggie.”

 

She sat on her simple wooden table chair and stared at the plastic container of spaghetti. “I’m pretty sure it’s more than that though.”

 

Beth could picture her sister sitting at her kitchen table, focusing her attention on her younger sister. “How so?”

 

“As clichéd as this is going to sound…I just can’t put it into words. He just,” she struggled to come up with anything to describe what he meant to her.

What he did to her.

How much he affected her.

 

“It’s like I can’t stop being happy, no matter what I’m doing.”

 

She shook herself and tried again “I’m always thinking about him, even when there isn’t a reason to.”

 

“Beth, I get it. I do. You don’t have to say anything else.”

 

“I’m pretty sure I love him.”

 

There was a pause as the words settled. It was the first time she had said them out loud.

 

“Well Beth, enough said.”

 

Beth smiled as she played with the container.

   
“Enough said.”

 

* * *

Beth pulled into her regular parking spot toward the back of the library; her conversation with Maggie still fresh in her mind. She could always depend on her older sister to help make sense of the craziness that was her own mind, yet still give her the space to figure it out for herself.

 

She stepped out of her truck and reached for her purse and lunch, already looking forward to noon when she would meet Daryl.

 

She walked towards the library with a little extra pep to her step, still on a high from her conversation with Maggie as well as from her dinner with Daryl.  It hadn’t lasted long though, as she heard several voices from around the corner of the library, causing her to slow down and frown.

 

_Something feels off_

She couldn’t put her finger on it, but after years of walking down that same path Beth was much attuned to her surroundings

 

As she turned the corner she saw a small crowd standing next to the entrance, a mix of officers, campus security, and people who worked in the library. Olga was gently patting Patricia’s back as the older woman stood talking to one of the police officers. Both women looked spooked, and it appeared as if Patricia had been crying.

 

Before her brain was able to process what was in front of her, she moved towards the two women right before a hand gripped her elbow gently and pulled her back.   


“Beth, sorry you can’t go inside.”

 

She recognized the voice, but was so distracted by the sight in front of her that she simply nodded and let herself be led away. As they moved closer to the crowd, Olga looked up and gave Beth a pained look. Beth opened her mouth to ask what happened, but stopped as soon as she made eye contact with Pat.  A look of anger appeared on her face, one that Beth had never seen in all her years working with her. Watching the interaction, Olga quickly leaned in and whispered something to Pat, almost as if she was trying to calm her down.

 

“Patricia?” Beth said in a shaky voice. “What’s going on?”

 

“Look at what you did Beth. Look at what you did!” Pat’s words cracked as she spoke, and Beth couldn’t make out if it was due to anger or grief.

 

Beth quickly turned to Olga who only shook her head, prompting her not to address Patricia any further.

 

Beth suddenly remembered the man next to her and turned to him. His eyes were immediately on hers, a look of concentration on his face.

 

“Shane, what happened here?”

 

He sighed and looked away, eyes now focused on the library.

 

“There was a break-in” he said as he led her towards his cruiser. 

 

“A break-in?” She whispered.

 

“Yeah, they fucked things up pretty badly inside.” They stood by the cruiser as Beth looked at the crowd, Patricia still staring daggers at her.

 

“They stole laptops, computers, took a couple of television sets. Some of the more valuable first editions you all had locked up in there” he continued.

 

“The fuckers pretty much trashed all the offices.  I’m afraid yours was no exception.” He opened the passenger side of the car and gestured her to sit down. 

 

“My office was trashed?” She practically whispered as she sat sideways in the seat, both feet planted on the pavement. He squatted in front of her, putting his hand on her thigh.

 

“Yeah, sorry Beth.” She was too much in shock to register how close he was. She barely felt his hand on her, not that she would have cared. She had no idea what to feel at the moment.

 

“What did Patricia mean?” She looked up at him. “She said ‘what I did’…why did she say that?”

 

Shane narrowed his eyes as he watched her and then turned to the crowd forming outside the library.

 

“Shit, Beth.” He ran his fingers through his hair a few times before turning back to her.

 

“According to Patricia, you were the last one here last night. When she got here, she noticed the doors were unlocked. ” He narrowed his eyes at her again. “Is that true?”

 

Beth brought both her hands to her mouth and closed her eyes.

 

  _I was in such a hurry to get to Daryl’s house._

She felt her stomach drop, and her heart sped faster than it had a few moments before.

 

_I just wanted to get out of there so quickly._

 

Her breathing picked up, and she felt the tears begin to form in her eyes.

 

_I didn’t lock up. I forgot to lock up. I didn’t lock up._

She felt her body begin to shake, and suddenly she felt nauseated.

 

_This is my fault._

 

“Oh my god, Shane.” She felt the tears sliding down her cheeks.

 

“Beth, don’t cry.” His voice was firm, but kind. She felt him squeeze her thigh in a feeble attempt to comfort her. That made her want to cry more.

 

Beth took a deep breath and looked up at Pat and Olga again. Both women were being led back inside the library by a police officer. Beth stood up and made a move to go follow them.

 

“You shouldn’t go in right now,” he took hold of her elbow again.

 

“They’re going to want to ask you some questions,” he continued. “You’ll need to stick around.”

 

Although the sun was out and there wasn’t a breeze anywhere, Beth began to shiver.

 

_I have to go apologize_

 

She made another attempt to walk towards the building, but her legs gave out and she ended up falling into Shane. 

 

She thought she heard him talking to her. She thought she felt his arms come around her and lead her back inside his cruiser. She thought she heard him tell her he was going to take her back to his office. She may have nodded in agreement, but she wasn’t sure. She settled back in the seat and pulled the seatbelt across her chest. Somewhere in the distances she heard Shane settle in next to her and turn the engine on. She leaned on the passenger side window and watched the campus roll past her. She shut her eyes and felt a panic start to rise.

 

_How could I be so stupid? What the hell Beth?_

_It’s your fault. It’s your fault. It’s your fault._

Her chest started tightening, as if some unknown entity was squeezing her lungs, and suddenly she started to panic at the thought that she would stop breathing. She forced herself to gasp as she opened her eyes, right at the moment they passed the theater.

 

“No.” She said

 

Shane turned to look at her. She took a deep breath, trying desperately to stave off a panic attack, or hyperventilation, or whatever the hell her body was trying to do.

 

“No,” she shook her head and met his eyes “can you please take me to the science department?”

 

A look of confusion passed through his eyes before he recovered.  It looked as if he wanted to say something, but instead he swallowed and nodded. She turned back towards the window as he made an awkward U-turn. She smiled and closed her eyes as they passed the theater again.

 

* * *

 They sat in front of the science department for a few minutes, Beth watching some students walk down the front steps of the building. Beth wanted to make sure her legs were secure so she wouldn’t need Shane’s help getting up the steps. She took a few deep breaths before turning to him.

 

“Thanks for bringing me here.”

 

He smiled at her as he shook his head.

 

“Of course,” his smile was warm and sweet, probably more so than she’d ever seen from him before.

“Just stick close by. I, um” he chuckled and ran his hands through his hair again “I still have your number so I’ll call you when we’re ready for you.”

 

She quickly nodded, not looking forward to that. She opened the door and went to step outside before he gently grabbed her arm.

 

“Hey,” she looked at him and was surprised to see him blush “we’ll sort it out.”

 

She smiled again as he released her, allowing her to get out of the car. She took a few steps towards the building as she heard the car drive away. She turned back to see that he had gone back in the direction of the library. She felt the tears brimming, but refused to let them flow. Rather, she took a deep breath and turned back towards the building, looking up at the glass double doors. Right at the moment she took the first step, she saw the doors fly open as a figure burst out in some kind of hurry.

 

It took her less than a second to realize who it was, and when she did, she finally allowed herself to feel the dread that had been edging its way out of her all morning. Daryl locked eyes on with her when he was a few steps down. She saw the moment he registered it was her, and then he started taking two steps at a time to reach her, pulling her into his arms when they were close.

 

She allowed herself to sink into him, burying her face in the crook of his neck, and finally let herself cry.

 

* * *

Like much of her morning, Beth didn’t remember being taken into Daryl’s office. Yet there she was, in his little corner of the building, sitting on an old loveseat, facing his desk. Daryl had left her to go find some coffee, leaving her in there to admire the office that was so distinctly his.  She was staring at a poster he had above his desk. It was Van Gough’s Starry Night with an inscription written on the bottom “ _I don’t know anything with certainty, but seeing the stars makes me dream.”_ She smiled as she read it, finally starting to feel a little warmth.

 

“Here you go, Beth” he walked in with two mugs “sorry it’s not so fresh.”

 

She reached out for it, grateful for the gesture “It’s okay, it’s actually how I prefer it anyway.”

 

He lifted a brow at that as he handed it over “You like your coffee stale?”

 

She gave him a tight smile as she nodded. At that moment she really didn’t care if she was drinking tar. She just needed to do something. Drinking day old coffee in Daryl’s office was good enough for her.

 

She leaned her head back on the cushion and sighed.

 

“I just,” she felt bile rise up her throat and her body began to shake again. “I just can’t believe I did that.”

 

He sat by her on the loveseat and placed a hand on her thigh, moving it up and down in a comforting gesture. For a moment, she felt the warmth again.

 

“It’s gonna be alright. I promise you” he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her up against his chest, brushing his hands up and down her back. She closed her eyes and let him comfort her.

 

“I might get fired” she whispered into his chest, causing him to hold her tighter and press his lips to the top of her head.

 

“You don’t need to be thinking about that right now.” He kissed her again and she nodded, though she couldn’t get rid of the thoughts.

 

“You hear me, Beth?” He seemed to have sensed it.

 

“I hear you” she said quietly, closing her eyes and forcing the thoughts away.

 

“But Daryl,” she pulled back and looked at him. “How could I have been so careless?” She buried her face in her hands. “How could I have been so, so… _fucking_ stupid?” The tears began to fall again.

 

“I’m responsible for thousands upon thousands of stolen items! And Shane made it sound like my office, my precious little space, has been destroyed.” She didn’t realize she had been rocking until she felt Daryl put his arms around her and hold her still.

 

“It’s my fault that…orders are going to get backed up, the library will probably be closed for a while and with school  starting up who knows how that’s going to impact the students,” she rambled as she took her hands away from her face and looked at him. “I’m going to be the cause for so many delays, and holds and-“

 

“Shh,” he pulled her near again and pressed his cheek against hers “shush now girl,” she felt his words being whispered into her ears. He rubbed her back again and felt his stubble against her face.

 

“What is it you always say?” He caressed her cheek with his own “Just breath.”

 

She did as she was told, trying to slow her breathing down. She was close to hyperventilating again, so she focused on him, trying to match her breathing to his.

 

_Together we’re an anchor_

They stayed close like that for a few minutes, enough for Beth’s panic to recede.

 

“Wanna hear what I think?” His chest vibrated as he spoke.

 

“Mm?”

 

“Patricia can go fuck herself.”

 

She pushed herself closer to his chest while grabbing a fistful of his shirt, smiling despite herself.

 

“And if this little incident is enough to shut the school down, then the school’s got some serious shit to work on.” He continued.

 

She desperately tried to keep from giggling, taking deep breaths instead.

 

“You know what would really be a blow to the library?”

 

Her face still buried in his chest, she shrugged.

 

“If they got rid of you.” He slowly pulled away and looked at her.

 

“So I don’t need you worrying about nothing right now, you got that?”

 

She nodded. His confidence in her was enough to erase some of her fears.

 

“Come on,” he stood and reached down for her.

 

“What do you say we get out of here? Go to the greenhouse and relax a bit while you wait for that tool to call you.”

 

“His name is Shane, Daryl” she scolded, as she took his hand, feeling like herself the more they spoke.

 

He grunted and turned towards the door, accidently knocking over his mug of coffee.

 

“God damn it.” He groaned, letting go of her hand to pick up the mug that had fallen from the desk.

 

She giggled a bit as she saw him stumble around his office, trying to find something to soak up the coffee with.

 

“Ah Daryl, am I rubbing off on you now?” She smiled fondly at him as he found some wet hand wipes.

 

“There’s the sass,” he commented as he pulled out wipes and began to clean.

Rather than help him, she just watched him clean. He was wearing a dark gray t shirt and jeans, something she was very grateful for considering she was able to watch his arms flex as he wiped down desk.

 

_Yes, think happy thoughts…_

 

That morning’s events were making her emotions go all over the place. Right as her mind was beginning to wander about the benefits of having a boyfriend with such lovely arms, a realization hit her so hard she let out a gasp.

 

“What?” He froze his cleaning to watch her.

 

“It’s Wednesday.” She wasn’t looking at him as she spoke, rather at the coffee spilt on the desk.

 

“Yeah?”

 

She knew he must have been staring at her with confusion, but she kept her eyes on the mess.

 

“Last night was Tuesday.”

 

“You okay, Beth?” The worry in his tone made her snap back and focus on him.

 

“I didn’t lock up last night.” She said it with too much enthusiasm, causing Daryl to narrow his eyes and tilt his head.

 

“Tuesday nights are when the cleaners come to the offices. I never lock up on Tuesdays”

 

Daryl lifted a brow as if processing what she was saying.

 

“It wasn’t you who forgot to lock up?”

 

Beth looked down at her hands “No, it wasn’t” she whispered, feeling a mix of relief and sadness.

 

“Call Shane,” he threw the stained wipes in the waste basket by his desk “let’s clear this mess up.”

 

She quietly nodded, and turned to sit again.

 

“I will. I just,” she wasn’t sure what she needed. It was strange, going from one extreme to the other. From believing without a doubt that her job was on the line, to having that fear removed almost as quickly.

 

“Hey,” he knelt in front of her, and cupped her face with his hands. “It’s alright. There’s time for all that.” He gave her his half smirk, the one that she decided was just for her.

 

“How about you help me water the new snapdragons we just got instead?” He whispered as he looked into her eyes. She lowered her hands and placed them on his knees, wanting as much contact as possible. She smiled at his request, grateful that he knew exactly what she needed before she did.

 

She moved forward and placed her lips on his, knowing he understood she was thanking him.

 

It was a slow, soft kiss, simple yet fulfilling. It was the type of kiss Beth had pictured when reading fairytales, the kiss that every girl wished she could have one day. It would make sense that she would share it with him here. After a crazy moment when he comforted her, after she found peace.

 

It was a kiss she shared with the man she loved. A man she knew would love her back.

 

She didn’t need the stars, she knew it with certainty.  

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter came from an idea my spirit animal and I had about Daryl comforting her from her boss. Plus I wanted one more chapter with our pair where we see how much they’ve grown.  
> So, we’re getting to the end of our journey. We have about three more chapters left. Oh dear… I think I got a teary eyed just thinking about this. Don’t look at me!


	26. Away Baby-Girl Beth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When we last left our favorite pair, Beth had been accused of causing a robbery at the library. Luckily Daryl was there to help soothe her, and, spoiler alert! It actually wasn’t her fault

She supposed there were worse ways to spend her Friday night.

Tara and Amy had begged her to join them at Sanctuary, and had even managed to convince Sasha and Rosita to tag along.

 It had been a rough week, and Beth wanted nothing more than to stay home and sleep the weekend away. In fact, she had almost been relieved when Daryl had told her he was having a guy’s poker night that night. Even though any weekend she spent with him was a gift, she had been looking forward to her books and jammies.

Beth was brought back to the moment when an intoxicated Rosita placed a drink in front of her.

“So how did it all go down again?”

Beth sighed and took a big gulp. She was so tired about telling that story, but understood that her friends were still concerned about her.

“Well,” Tara leaned over, placing an emphasis on every syllable.  “The library has been using the same old cleaning ladies for years. Years! They always come and clean the offices on Tuesday nights. Except for last Tuesday. The cleaning lady had an event to attend to. A funeral or something.”

“It was a Rosary for the departed” Beth chimed in.

“Okay, a Rosary. Well, the woman contacted Pat to let her know she wouldn’t be coming in that evening. No big deal right?”

“Except Patricia didn’t relay that message to Tara and I. We’re the ones who stay late on Tuesdays.” Beth closed her eyes, remembering the look of relief on Shane’s face when she told him. How he and Daryl had actually smiled at each other, happy that Beth was officially off the hook.

“So it was Pat’s fault then?” Rosita stated.

“No,” Beth shook her head. “It was nobody’s fault. Just an accident. Miscommunication.”

“From Pat!” Tara exclaimed. She had not been as forgiving as Beth had been

“Please Beth,” Amy spoke up “That woman’s had it out for you for how long?”

“I just can’t help but feel bad for her.” Beth sighed.

“I mean,” she took a shot that had mysteriously been placed in front of her.

“Thinking I was responsible, for those few hours,” she almost cried relieving the memory. Tara shoved another bottle in her direction “those were just the…the worst hours you guys! I wouldn’t wish that upon anyone, even Patricia.”

 “You’re too good for this world Beth…too fucking good.” Tara reached over and hugged her best friend.

“Who’s responsible for them?” Rosita pointed at the two hugging girls as she turned to Sasha “Wait, who’s responsible for us?”

Sasha shrugged as she ate some more cheese fries.

Amy laughed as she called for the waitress, ordering another round for the girls except for herself. Amy had volunteered to be their sober driver, and as Beth remembered that fact, she leaned over and pulled her into their hug.

“Oh yeah,” Amy patted Beth’s back “I forgot you’re a happy lovey drunkard.”

Their moment was interrupted as all girls groaned and turned to the small stage. A petite brunette had been attempting to hit a high note and was failing miserably.

“Gotta love karaoke night” Tara said as she turned back towards the girls.

“Speaking of…” Amy let her sentence drift as she got up and went to the DJ’s booth.

Beth closed her eyes and groaned as she remembered how minutes earlier she had agreed to sing that night. She typically only sang for her nephews or when her father asked. Outside of that, she kept her singing to herself or any other people who happened to be around when a song she enjoyed came on the radio.

Karaoke night was the only exception.  A while back Tara made a decision that if any of them were ever to go out singing, they had to make a production out of it. They were to pick the most depressing song they could think of, and put as much emotion behind it.

 “It’s what the people want” Tara had explained to Sasha. “They don’t want to see some asshole singing up there as if it’s their only chance for a record deal. No! They want to see drama. They want to see tears!” She emphasized each word by pounding her drink on the table. “They want to see a show! That’s what our Beth here will be providing.” They all turned to look at her as she side eyed the singer on stage, attempting, quite badly, to hit that last note.

“Okay, choose your weapon” Amy plopped a large song binder in front of Beth, opening it at random and skimming the selection of karaoke songs.  “I say we go classic country” Amy continued not addressing anyone in particular.

Beth’s eyes were beginning to glaze over until Amy’s suggestion brought her back. She smiled wide and stood, hovering over Amy until her friend looked up at her.

“Don’t bother, I know what I’m gonna sing.”

“Go get it Beth Greene!” Tara shouted as Beth stepped towards the stage. She halted that moment, Tara’s words reminding her of something that had been bothering her for a while.

She turned back and knelt in front of Tara, addressing her directly.

“Tara, I’ve been meaning to ask you,” she spoke quietly to her friend, trying to look as serious as she felt.

“I noticed that you don’t call me ‘Baby girl’ anymore,” she felt her face redden as she asked, feeling too drunk for that conversation.

Tara smiled warmly, a smile Beth had lovingly referred to as her Best Friend Smile. “Yeah, I haven’t” she agreed, still meeting her gaze.

“How come?”

“I dunno,” Tara took a gulp of her drink as she scanned the other girls who were currently distracted by the large music book. “It just doesn’t fit you anymore.”

Beth laughed as she stood, feeling a sense of pride she hadn’t expected. Tara extended her arm out and Beth met it, fist bumping her best friend. Beth laughed as she made her way to the front, stopping at the DJ’s booth and telling him what her selection would be.

As she sat at a random table while she waited her turn, Beth began to think about the last year.

She’d been told by her friends and family that she seemed more confident. More open. She took a deep breath as she realized that for the first time she actually felt it. She laughed at the absurdity that her epiphany was happening in the middle of some dingy bar.

But it felt right.

The brunette finished her song to roaring applause before the DJ called Beth’s name up to the stage.

She took a deep breath and smiled, nodding to herself as she walked up the three short steps. She made brief eye contact with her friends and winked before getting into character. The second she heard the trombones playing through the speaker, she closed her eyes and shook her head as if it was painful for her to be up there. She put her hand to her heart before bringing it up her mouth, trying to communicate her total despair to the crowd.

If she was going to play the role of the jilted ex-girlfriend, she was going to do it well.

“When I said I needed you, you said you would always stay.

 It wasn’t me who changed but you, and now you’ve gone away. “

Beth kept her eyes closed but made sure to try to emphasize the pain in the last verse. She thought she heard Rosita and Sasha cackling, but she couldn’t be sure.

“Don't you see that now you've gone, And I'm left here on my own

And that I have to follow you, And beg you to come home”

Something about that lyric triggered a memory. A memory of months earlier when she had been sitting in the small theater with Daryl.

Of course she would remember.

The last time she heard the song she had been with him.

“You don't have to say you love me, Just be close at hand

You don't have to stay forever, I will understand”

She had heard it when she thought he was with Andrea. When she thought that no man like Daryl would ever crave her. When she thought, for a few minutes at least, that no one would ever want her.

“Believe me, believe me, I can't help but love you

But believe me, I'll never tie you down”

That was the beginning of her transformation, away from being Baby-Girl Beth. She had hit a low point, and she had been determined to climb back. And she had.

Beth opened her eyes and skimmed the crowd.

_I was strong._

She felt her eyes tingling. _Dammit_ she was going to cry. She took a deep breath and carried on, pretending not to notice the tear slowly gliding down her cheek. From her position on the stage, she made eye contact with Tara. She looked concerned.

Of course Tara would know Beth wasn’t acting. 

Beth closed her eyes and kept singing.  

_I am strong._

“Believe me, believe me, believe me.”

 

* * *

 

“You sure you okay Beth?” Tara had asked her that at least twenty times since she had gotten off the stage, and was continuing as they prepared to leave.

 “Yes, yes, I’m fine. Dusty Springfield just has a way of getting to me.” Beth lied as she crossed the seatbelt over her chest, suddenly having difficulties with it.

_Since when has the seat belt been this hard to use?_

“She’s just sad because her man was out partying without her.” Rosita hiccupped next to her.  Beth turned and gave her a disgusted look as Sasha groaned.

“He’s not partying, he’s having poker night with the boys” Beth stated as she continued working the seatbelt.

“The boys?” Rosita arched an eyebrow as Sasha groaned again, leaning further against her side of the car window.

“Rick, Tyreese, Glenn got an invitation somehow, and Abraham.” Beth gave up with the seatbelt and let it slide back into place.

“Aw how adorable you two, going on separate dates together. Apart, yet together, apart apart, together together.” Rosita was swinging her hands all over the place as if she was leading an orchestra.

Sasha let out a few expletives as Rosita put an arm around her and the other around Beth, pulling both girls together in the back seat of Amy’s Corolla.

“We’re adorable too, aren’t we” Sasha groaned as she pushed Rosita’s arms away.

“Careful Rosita,” Amy laughed as she turned on the ignition. “Sasha’s an angry drunk, you better stick with Beth.”

Beth was smiling as she laid her head on Rosita’s shoulder, saying a quiet prayer of gratitude for the people in her life.

As she closed her eyes preparing to nap, she felt a buzz coming from her clutch. She smiled and felt her face begin to flush, knowing full well who it was without even looking.

“Hey Amy, you mind driving me to Daryl’s? I forgot I needed to get something from him.”

“Ha! I bet you do, you little harlot!” Tara turned from the passenger’s side and slapped Beth’s leg.

“No don’t be crude Tara. I mean it, I have to, uh,” Beth struggled to come up with a completely normal excuse for showing up at his house at 2 in the morning  “ I have to get a signature for the uh-new text books he needs for the fall.”

She nodded congratulations to herself. _Yep. Totally pulled that off._

“Nice try, Beth.” Amy laughed from in front. “But I promised your sister I’d get you home in one piece.”

The whole car erupted in disagreement, causing Beth to giggle hysterically. It was clear everyone was on Beth’s side.

“When the hell did you become your mother?” Tara’s voice rang out causing the girls to silence.

Amy turned to her and scoffed. “When the hell did you turn into your sister?”

“I love Andrea now that I know she never liked Daryl.” Beth thought out loud, causing the girls to burst into laughter.

“Amy, you really want Daryl to miss seeing this?” Even Sasha was smiling now, her annoyance from earlier completely gone.

“He’s seen me like this” Beth smiled as she remembered the Fourth of July BBQ.

“Andhelikedit!” She tried to emphasize that last part but from the looks that her friends gave her, she hadn’t been successful.

“He liked it, was what I said”

“That’s what she said!” Rosita cackled not caring she was the only one laughing.

“Have we decided what type of drunk Rosita is yet?” Amy turned to Tara who just shrugged.

The car came to a stop at a light and Amy turned to look at Beth, who was still smiling.

“Aw Beth, you’re so smitten I can’t even stand it. What’s his address?”

Beth leaned forward to give her a hug which caused the whole car to yell at her for not having her seat belt on. As she leaned back her phone slipped out of her clutch, prompting Beth to check the message.

She rattled directions off to Amy as she tried to remember the password to her phone, raising her fist in the air in celebration when she was successful.

_I shoulnt of had the shots.  damn chinmen -D_

Daryl’s message caused her to laugh so hard she was practically gasping for breath. Rosita took the phone from her and read the message out loud.

“Oh yeah, you two are gonna have a good night.” Tara leaned back in her seat.

* * *

 

Beth practically jumped out of the car before Amy fully put it in park. She knew she should have been embarrassed about her behavior, but she was excited to see her boyfriend.  She stumbled up the step and noticed the lights still on inside. _Good. He’s awake._

She knocked loudly on his door, suddenly realizing that he wasn’t expecting her. In her haste to get to his house, she never thought to tell him she was on her way.

She turned and saw the car full of women waiting to see what Beth was going to do next as her stomach filled with the familiar butterflies that never failed to show up when he was around.

She turned back and raised her hand to knock again before the door swung open.

She took a step back, feeling the familiar rush as she looked up at those hooded blue eyes. She smiled as she saw him register who was in front of him. Her heart picked up when she saw that side grin of his, the one she loved so much, and knew was just for her.

“Beth.” He smiled as he looked her over.

She quickly looked down and remembered what she was wearing; a form fitting floral skirt with black stockings.  She completed the outfit with her favorite black chucks.

She didn’t think she looked special, but the way Daryl was looking at her she might as well have been wearing a bikini and heels.

“Hey,” she felt herself blush as she tucked her hair behind her ear. They’d been going out for a few months now; surely she didn’t need to feel nervous.

Beth turned around and waved at her friends who were already pulling away. She turned back and he was still looking at her, glassy eyed, and fingers rubbing his chin. It appeared he was nervous too.

“Will you quit it” she pulled his hand away and felt their fingers interlace as she brought them down.

“Quit what?” he teased. She gave him a knowing look which caused him to chuckle.

 “Was just wonderin’ how I got so lucky to have such a pretty thing show up at my door.” He pulled her closer and she could smell the alcohol in his breath.

“Especially at this hour.”

She hummed and placed a chaste kiss on his cheek.

“Morning Professor.” She lingered on his cheek before she pulled back slowly.

She smiled innocently and walked past him to his living room, still holding his hand, dragging him behind her. “If I caught you at a bad time, I can leave.” She turned in time to see him close the door behind him.

“Just say the word, and I’ll be on my way.”

She pretended not be affected by the way he got closer as she spoke, tried to stay reserved as he pulled her and caressed her forehead with his.

“Beth, I think you know by now that I always want you-” he leaned in and kissed her so deep she swore she could feel it in her toes.

 Before she could fully reciprocate, he pulled back. “I always want you with me.” He finished with a whisper. She felt her head spin as she let go of his hand, placing it on his chest. As she looked up and registered what his words had meant, he ducked his head again and captured her lips.

* * *

 

It could have been minutes. It could have been hours. Beth stopped caring as she let herself go with the sensations her body was experiencing.

Daryl’s lips on hers, tongues stroking the other, teeth nipping at lips. She couldn’t get enough.

She could have blamed her alcohol fuled brain for not remembering exactly how he had managed to bring them to his couch, shoes and belts tossed somewhere along the way. Still locked in their kiss, Beth was straddling his lap, running her fingers through his hair, as he did the same to hers. It was the most natural thing in their world. 

But it was the same magic he evoked out of her that caused her to lose track of time and space when he was around. It was not something she felt she’d ever get over.

Eventually they broke apart, leaning on each other cheek to cheek. She closed her eyes and focused on grounding herself to him.  The feel of his stubbled cheek on hers, of his body between her thighs, the pressure of his hands on her back and her scalp, how his hair felt going through her fingers.

“I sang tonight.” She whispered.

“Oh yeah?”

“Dusty Springfield.” She gave him another kiss as he quietly chuckled.

“When you gonna sing for me?”

“When you’ve earned it.”

She felt his body stir underneath her.

_Got him!_

She pulled back to give him her version of a wicked grin but as soon as she made her move, he pulled her back and pressed a kiss on her neck.

“Oh!” She gasped, feeling a warmth spread down her lower stomach.

“That’s…”she shut her eyes and took a deep breath, feeling the warmth go lower as he sucked softly on her pulse point and slid his hands down her back.

“That feels so nice” she gasped as she felt his hands cup her bottom and press her closer to his body.

On impulse, she leaned down and gently bit his earlobe, pulling it as her body began rocking on top of his. Immediately he brought his hands back to her hair and drug her back to his lips, Beth meeting him as their tongues clashed awkwardly.

They laughed and came apart for a second before resuming their kiss, this time with more coordination and deeper than they had moments ago. She sighed every time their heads tilted and smiled when she felt him caress her neck.

The longer they remained like that, the less passionate their kiss became. Instead it shifted back to their familiar endearments: slow and sweet.  They would break apart often and press smaller kisses over each other’s faces before resuming. Their bodies hadn’t changed though, both still pressed tightly around the other.

He tasted like tobacco and beer. He smelled like spices and honey. No one but her knew this, and she considered herself lucky.

It was perfect. And she was happy.

“You alright?”

She jumped a little, not having realized that they had stopped and she had been staring at him. She smiled and nodded.

“Yeah,” she placed a hand on his cheek.

“I’m okay. You wanna know why?”

He held her stare, the smile he reserved for her beginning to form.

She smiled back and raised her other hand, framing his face “Because I love you.”

She smiled and leaned in to kiss him again. She wasn’t going to give him a chance to respond. Not because she was afraid of what he’d say, or because she regretted saying it in the first place. Rather because her declaration really wasn’t about him.

Baby-girl Beth would have wanted a response right then and there.

This Beth was already happy with what she was getting from him. She had faith in him and his feelings for her.

That was how she was going to show him her strength.

After a few moments Beth recognized a shift between them, a subtle change. Their kiss had progressed from sweet and playful to something else. Something urgent.

Daryl wrapped his arms tightly around her and flipped them over so that she transitioned from being on his lap, to flat on her back, having to reach up to meet his lips.

She felt the rough texture of his tongue as it stroked against hers. She was very aware of the feel of his body as it pressed up against her, becoming heavier on her per minute, pushing her deeper into the couch cushions. She felt her skirt pull up her body, bunching against her stomach as his hands reached under and caressed her flat stomach.

She gasped quietly as she brought her hands up to his hair, letting her fingers play with the strands. She felt his body react to her immediately, feeling his hardness against her inner thigh.

Beth had been waiting for this... or something very close to this. She felt his lips slide down her face again, his breath uneven as it released into her neck. She couldn’t help but grin.

 _Yep_ she thought to herself  _I’ve really got him now._

His hands slid towards her back, and she relished the feeling of his hands on her bare skin. She quickly mirrored his movement, pushing her hands up and under his shirt, letting her fingers glide through his abdomen as they slowly snaked towards his back.  She felt raised grooves on his back as she let her hands wander higher towards his shoulder blades, thanking every deity for having such a person to explore.

When their lips pulled apart Beth bowed her head up and looked at the ceiling. She tilted her head confused, having lost all her senses, not quite sure what direction she was actually staring at.

“You’re so beautiful” he whispered, grounding her once more.

“You’re so soft” he practically hummed as he pulled himself slightly away from her, bringing his hands back to her front and up to her breasts. She arched at his touch, an involuntary movement, completely at his mercy.

He gently squeezed each breast before he released them. Before she could protest, Daryl slipped his hands back underneath her, hugging her closer to him and her body responded by wrapping its legs around his waist.

They both groaned as her ankles crossed his back, her new position centering Daryl right into her core. The feeling of his tight jeans created a lovely friction through her tights, causing them to hiss and grind harder on each other.

“You’re the daydream I wanted to be real” she gasped as he pushed harder into her, flashes of all the moments she had seen him in that green theater, wishing he would notice her, flooding her mind.

“You’re so real” she continued.

 More forcefully than she intended, she pulled her hands out from under his shirt and pushed his face towards hers, pressing a scorching kiss on his lips before he could realize what was happening.

The kiss was careless, sloppy and raw.  Intermixed with gasps and groans, Daryl’s hands slid down her lower back and under the elastic of her tights. His hands found the top of her modest underwear and he slid his hands under them, palming her ass with his rough hands. Beth let go of his kiss and pushed her head back into the cushions. Moving on impulse and intoxicated on lust, Beth did the same, rushing her hands to his jeans before reaching and grasping him through his boxers.

She felt his hands slide further down, the tips of his fingers reaching down to her most intimate area.

“Daryl…” she gasped into his lips as his fingers found the juncture between her thighs and began gliding across her folds.

Her words froze them both. His fingers stopped their playfulness on her body as Beth’s stopped as well. They were both panting into each other’s mouths, both still, waiting for someone to make the next move.

“Ah, fuck Beth” he buried his face in her neck as he pulled his hand out, Beth following suit.

He turned slightly towards her and kissed her neck. His body still heavy on hers, but with a sudden lightness she couldn’t explain.

“I’m too fucking lit right now to make this any good.”

She laughed at the obvious disappointment in his words, stroking his hair and trying hard to regulate her breathing.

“You were doing pretty good in my opinion” she giggled, feeling lightheaded from the alcohol and lack of oxygen their little activity had taken.

“Trust me” he nipped at her neck. “I would have embarrassed both of us.”

She laughed as she curled her arms around his back, using her entire body to embrace him as tightly as she could.

They remained like that for a few minutes before Beth felt him grow heavy on top of her. She giggled quietly as he started snoring, the angle of his face made it so she could hear every exhale by her ear.  She giggled some more and stroked his back, trying to figure out how she could bring her legs back down without waking him. After several seconds of trying to maneuver her body to a more comfortable positon, she felt him jerk awake, causing her to laugh louder.

“I’m sorry.” She whispered as she looked up at him “My legs were falling asleep.”

“Yeah, I’m sure I wasn’t helping any,” he groaned as he looked down at their positions. He cursed quietly as he shifted groggily away from her, taking her hands and pulling her up with him.  

She yawned as she came up, stretching her arms wide, feeling a rush of tiredness hitting her.

“Should I suggest for you to take the bed while I sleep out here?” He half grinned as he watched her.

She gave him a look suggesting it was ridiculous and he chuckled as he rubbed his face, stifling a yawn.

“I just assumed that was the gentlemanly thing to do” he mumbled.

“Well, a gentleman untested can’t really call himself that, can he?” She teased.

“I’m pretty fucking sure I was just tested.” He groaned as he pulled her further to a standing position.

Before she had a chance to react, he reached down and picked her up, tossing her over his shoulder as he walked them to his room.

“Daryl!” She squealed as he playfully bit her bottom “I thought you were going for gentleman…not caveman!”

“Same thing” he grumbled as he gently placed her at the foot of his bed. He lowered his head and gave her a chaste kiss before he went to his closet. She smiled as she sat down, feeling incredibly happy and still very drunk.

He gently tossed her one of his t-shirts and a pair of boxers before he turned back and got his own.

She stripped off her clothes, happily changing into something that belonged to him. She pulled the boxers on, feeling a familiar warm rush, but forced herself to ignore it. She picked up the t-shirt and memories of orange blossoms and greenhouses clouded her head.

There was no way he would have known, or even remembered. At least that’s what Beth was willing to assume.  The shirt in her hands was the same one he had worn the night of their first kiss. Same white writing on black.

She smiled widely as she quickly put it on, sighing heavily at the feeling of the soft cotton against her skin.

“I hope you don’t have a preferred side, ‘cause I usually take the middle” she said as she bounced into his bed, eager to have him snuggle up to her.

“Pretty greedy of you Baker Beth” he smiled as he went towards the light to switch them off.

“Just how it goes” she turned to her side and sunk deeper into the pillows, inhaling deeply.

“Well, as luck would have it” she felt the mattress sink as he got in behind her. “I like the middle too” he wrapped his arm around her and pulled her back into his chest, reaching down and pressing kisses on her cheek.

“We must make a good team” she smiled.

“Oh yeah, you think so?”

“Believe me” she whispered before falling deep into sleep.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DON’T LOOK AT ME! I’m so ashamed….I hope this chapter was worth the wait. Also, of course Daryl loves her! Don’t doubt that for a second. The way he tells her, trust me…you’ll all be happy you waited.


	27. A Perfectly Dark Blue Sky

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There’s a blink and you’ll miss it scene from 30 Rock on here. Also, when I started writing this thing there were THREE scenes I was super excited to write. The first was Beth and Daryl’s kiss in the greenhouse. The second scene is the last one here.

Beth realized she wasn’t in her own bed before she became fully awake. She was also aware that it was too early to be up and that she was likely still drunk.

After blinking some of the sleep away, she opened her eyes and focused on the digital clock to her left informing her it was after 4 in the morning.

Instantly she heard a loud snore coming from her right. She would have laughed were it not for the pounding headache she had also become aware of. She closed her eyes tighter and took a deep breath.

She was curled in a tight fetal position; her legs bent up, hugging her pillow to her chest. She had been waking up to that positon for as long as she could remember, and the fact that her body felt comfortable enough to do that in Daryl’s bed was not lost on her.

She felt a small weight on her right hip that slid along her side and stopped at her stomach as she rolled onto her back. She turned to Daryl and smiled.

Her professor was sprawled on his back with one arm over his eyes. His snores were loud enough to wake the neighbors, but Beth found herself loving the idea of waking up to that noise every morning. She looked down to her stomach and realized that the weight she had felt was him, his hand on her body. The fact that she hadn’t been aware of that small gesture up until then made it that more intimate.

_You tell me I’m your tether/I ground you here with me…_

She rolled again towards him, tucking her head under his extended arm and onto his chest. On instinct (she supposed) Daryl’s arm came around and curled across her back, tucking her further into his body. She heard him grumble something as he tightened his grip, only to let out another snore and fall back into his deep sleep.

Her head was still pounding. Her mouth was cotton dry. She could feel her skin sticky, itchy, and slick from the previous night. His snoring louder in her ears thanks to their new position.

She closed her eyes again and smiled.

It was the perfect moment she always wanted.

* * *

 

“Tell me again why Daryl isn’t here?”

Beth glared at her brother in law across the booth as she helped Michael with his activity book.

“For the last time, Glenn, he’s at Meg’s today working on her car.”

Glenn rolled his eyes and took a crayon out of Charlie’s box.

“I just thought, now that you had a man, I’d have someone to talk to…” he grumbled to himself as he colored a race car in Charlie’s book.

Beth turned to her sister who was already looking at her, huge smile on her face as she shrugged.

Beth would have found more humor in the situation had she not still been hungover. She had spent the majority of the previous day laying on Daryl’s couch with him as they both complained about how terrible they felt, both swearing they would never drink again.

“Don’t worry honey,” Maggie reached out and took her husband’s hand. “Daryl isn’t going anywhere. Beth already took a very important step with him, so it’s safe to say he’s a keeper.”

Glenn shot a look at Beth before turning to look at the boys.

 “I puked in front of him.” Beth corrected him as she lowered her head on the table in embarrassment.

“Ha ha, Aunt Bethy puked Chuck!” Michael gestured towards his brother as if he hadn’t just heard the exchange.

Above her she heard her nephews and Glenn laughing, and she couldn’t help smiling.

“Watcha got there in your hair, Beth?” Maggie asked

Beth put her hand to her ponytail as she lifted her head, pulling one of the white flowers off.

“I’d forgotten this was on here.” She was still mostly alive when she woke up that morning, not really remembering the particulars as to how she managed to get ready to meet her family for brunch.

 “He gave this to me before I left yesterday.” She said as she looked at the small blossom. “It’s kind of our thing.”

“He gives you flowers?”

“Sort of.” She played with the flower between her thumb and index. “He gives me orange blossoms from time to time. I think it’s sweet.”

She smiled at the flower as she placed it on the table.

“It’s more than sweet Bethy, its downright romantic. You could be in a romance novel or something like that.”

Beth rolled her eyes at her sister, regretting it instantly.

“Okay, how about this,” Glenn looked up from his drawing.

“We’ll send the boys over to the farm this Friday, and you two can come over for drinks.”

Beth smiled warmly at her brother-in-law and turned to her sister.

_You tell him_ she gestured.

Maggie sighed and rubbed her husband’s back. “They can’t sweetie. They’ve got a concert that night.”

“It’s not actually a concert” Beth corrected. “It’s a musical they’ve been working on at the theatre these past few months.”

“Daryl at a musical?” Glenn raised both brows and Maggie smiled into her drink.

He shook his head and turned to his sons.

“The things we do for love” he sighed.

* * *

 

The rest of the work week went by in a flash, which was different from what Beth was used to. Not surprisingly, Pat had been on “vacation” since the robbery, so it had been up to Olga, Tara, and Beth to keep up with the library’s demands.

“We’ve got this, Beth!”  Tara insisted Friday afternoon. “You can leave now and get ready for your hot date.”

Beth groaned as she attempted to log in to Pat’s database for the fifth time.

“I just know if I stare at this thing long enough, I’ll remember my darn passcode and get us those order forms.”

That had been the biggest burden since Patricia had been gone, getting access to the library files for orders. Patricia had allowed Beth access to it, making her have her own password, though Beth had never actually used it. Pat had always insisted on keeping that task to herself, which made it all pointless in the end.

“I have complete faith in you friend” Tara gently pulled her away from the screen “But the I.T. guys will be here on Tuesday, we’ll just have to suck it up until then. Go get ready for that ‘gentleman’ of yours.”

Beth’s face reddened. She knew she was going to regret telling Tara about her previous week, but she was her best friend. Of course she was going to share.

She walked to her office and grabbed her stuff, laughing quietly as she heard her best friend telling Olga about Beth’s date.

“Professor Dixon is continuing his courtship of our Beth. Bringing her white flowers, taking her out under the stars. He even brought her dinner the other night. You’d think they just started dating three days ago instead of three months ago. ”

Something about that sentence prompted Beth to remember. She rolled her eyes at her own silliness and dropped her purse as she marched back to Pat’s old station. She quietly walked between Tara and Olga and leaned down to the computer screen, clicking a few keys, and successfully, and finally, logging on to the database.

“Here you go ladies. Go crazy.” Beth said as she turned back to retrieve her things.

Tara stared at her friend as Beth rushed to make an escape.

“Beth,” Tara called out in an authoritative way. “What the fuck just happened here?”

“Nothing” Beth called out as she signed out and went towards the front door. “I just remembered my password is all. I’ll call you after my date. Love you, bye!”

She hurried out, knowing she was almost free.

“Emily Elizabeth Rebecca Greene!”

Beth turned and moaned “That’s not my name-“

“What was the password?” Tara raised a brow.

Beth huffed and tugged on her purse strap.

“Mr Blue.” She whispered.

Tara stared for only a second before her head fell back and she began laughing. A laugh so loud all the students in the library turned round to look at her. Beth shook her head as Olga came out to see what was so funny. Beth let out a dramatic sigh and turned back towards the door, hiding the smile she kept until she got home.

* * *

 

Beth looked at herself in the mirror. She knew she was probably going to be freezing wearing a dress and all, but when she had found it she knew it would be appropriate. Black short sleeve a-line dress with white and green leaves patterned throughout.  She opted for flats, feeling more comfortable in them anyway, and applied her new favorite red lipstick.

She still felt the butterflies in her tummy, a feeling that became stronger as she wrapped a slim belt around her waist.

_I wonder if they’ll ever go away_ she thought to herself. She suspected they wouldn’t. She was ready to feel the butterflies for the rest of her life.

But for now, she’d be happy to settle for the night.

A brief knock on the door shook her from her thoughts. She ran her fingers through her hair, satisfied with leaving it loose.  She smiled at her reflection for a moment before turning and walking towards her front door.

She opened her door and her smile grew wider. There was her professor standing at door, a small plotted plant in his hands, and an embarrassed grin on his face.

“I’m not a flower’s kind of guy.” He said as his greeting, which caused Beth to tilt her head in confusion.

“Then what are those?”  She pointed at the plant in his hands.

“This is a miniature orange tree, these white blossoms will one day be oranges.”

He laughed as he walked in, kissing her on the cheek before putting it down on the side table by her couch.

 He turned to look at her “When it’s ready, I’ll teach ya how to plant it.”

“You gave me a tree.” She smiled as she walked up to him. “No one’s ever given me a tree before.” She wrapped her arms around his neck and breathed him in.

“And, don’t you forget that.” He smiled back and leaned in, kissing her gently. She melted into the kiss, swooning at their less than typical rapport. For a second she wondered how other couple’s did this thing. Then she realized it didn’t matter.

They stayed connected longer than necessary. Or it was possible it was the perfect amount of time. When they pulled away, Beth looked up him and smiled. She secretly wished he would say something specific to her then, but was content with the look he gave her instead. Blue eyes looking down at her, a small smile on his lips. She gently tapped his lips with her index finger before placing a quick, last kiss, and pulling away.

“Come on, we can’t be late.” She reached for her jacket and held out her hand.

* * *

 

They went towards their usual spot of grass, which was fitting for so many reasons. Daryl held Beth’s bag as she laid out the small blanket, taking her hand and helping her down on the ground next to him when she was done. Usually they sat across from each other as they ate and talked, so Beth was happy for the change, her sitting next to him, her body leaning on his. They watched the grassy field fill up with people, Beth waving at some familiar faces in the crowd.

“See any of your students here?” Beth asked, closing her eyes as Daryl absentmindedly ran his fingers through her hair.

“Didn’t come here to see any students” he mumbled.

“So why did you come?” She teased as she dropped her head back to look at him. He laughed and shook his head, placing his lips on her forehead and leaving them there for a bit.

It was the perfect evening for an outdoor performance. With the moon not making a full appearance, the stars were given permission to shine across a perfectly dark blue sky. Though the theater was getting fuller by the minute, quiet murmurs filled the arena, no one daring to speak louder than a whisper. 

Beth looked down and scanned the small area around them. She smiled as she remembered all the times she had sat in that exact spot. All the emotions and hopes and daydreams she’d had prior to the present.

As the stadium lights dimmed, signaling the beginning of the show, Beth felt her eyes begin to water. Never would she have imagined her present reality. The perfection of it. A thousand daydreams would never get close to it.

And she had daydreamed it so much.

A string of guitars along with haunting piano keys began as a spotlight focused towards the top. Above the stage, a large extended scaffold which was usually hidden from the audience was in full display. On it, a small orchestra sat, musicians strumming their guitars, playing their violins. Below on the stage, a cloud of white smoke slowly moved across, dimly lit, giving the audience peeks of what appeared to be a forest.

Beth took a deep breath, letting the images fill her completely, mesmerized with the world in front of them. She felt Daryl stiffen next to her, and she wondered if he felt the same.

Another guitar joined the first, along with the unmistakable sounds of an organ. Beth followed the sound and noticed a small organ tucked neatly beside the stage. She recognized Aaron as the pianist. Daryl must have noticed her excitement as he soon followed her line of sight. He chuckled quietly in realization just as Beth turned back to the stage, just as a woman dressed in a sheer gray and green dress danced in front of the forest, her dress flowing within the fog. She began moving to the music in an elaborate ballet routine as another figure stepped from the stage.

“The fuck is that?” She heard Daryl mumble next to her and she almost burst into giggles.

“It’s a faun” Beth whispered back “You know, half man, half goat.”

He grumbled something else that she couldn’t decipher.

The faun approached the woman and grabbed her arm. The woman turned and gasped, pulling away in apparent fright. The pair went on and began what looked like a courting dance as another man appeared above them on the opposite side of the orchestra. While the couple danced underneath him, the man watched them for a bit before addressing the audience and beginning to sing.

“My true love went riding out, in white and green and gray. Past the pale of office wall when she was want to stray. And then she came upon, a white and wounded faun, singing Oh, The Hazards of Love.”

The man went on to sing about the courtship between the faun and the woman in white, as the couple danced below.

Beth had completely fallen into the world in front of her, glued to the stage throughout the performance. She watched as the faun, thanks to elaborate lighting and a smoke machine, transformed fully into a man. Beth watched as the couple made love under the moon, as the woman, named Margaret, left the man to go back to her family, and as she realized she was pregnant.

Beth was brought back to reality as she felt Daryl wrap his coat over her shoulders. She was surprised she had left the comfort of his chest and was instead sitting with her legs tucked underneath her, hands planted firmly on her thighs, leaning forwards towards the stage. She felt her face blush as he winked at her and placed his own hands behind him, leaning as he watched her.

Something about that made her heart flutter again. They were no longer at the stage where they had to be holding and touching each other at every second. Both secure enough to know how the other feels.

Beth turned back to the stage as Margaret sang about missing her love.

“And all this stirring inside my belly  
Won't quell my want for love  
And I may swoon from all this swelling  
But I won't want for love”

Beth swayed as both electric and acoustic guitars accompanied a drum beat to Margaret’s cries as she groped her stomach and walked across the stage. Beth leaned back against Daryl again and gently nudged his shoulder with hers, encouraging him to sway with her. He only gave her a side gaze before looking up at the night sky. It was clear she was enjoying the show more than he was.

_The things we do for love_.

The music shifted once Margaret found her beloved, William, into almost a lullaby. The couple embraced and fell on stage, onto a small pile of grass and ivy. William pulled a red flower from the stage next to him and gave it to Margaret as she began to sing.

“Huh” Daryl grunted, causing Beth to turn. He was fixated on the stage now, eyes wide, though Beth couldn’t make sure why.

“What?” She asked.

“You think they’re watering the plants appropriately?”

She stared at him for a few seconds and then looked back to the stage.

“What?” she asked again, not really following his logic.

“Some of those flowers are wilting. I gave them strict instructions before they took them out as to how to keep these plants alive.”

Beth rolled her eyes and focused back on the show, grabbing his hand and squeezing it, her feeble attempts to calm him down.

“I’m sure they’re taking good care of your plants Professor Dixon.” She leaned on him as she felt him grunt.

Beth was definitely enjoying the show more than he was, though it made him being there with her that much more special. She turned her head and smiled into his shoulder.

* * *

 

A few songs later, the show went on intermission allowing Beth and Daryl to stand and stretch.

“So what do you think so far?” She asked with a smile on her face.

“I didn’t think there’d be so many songs.” He responded as he patted his shirt.

“It’s a musical Daryl.”  She laughed at him as he pulled out a cigarette and went to light it in his mouth.

“There’s a goat-man, and that girl falls in love with it. That’s some fucked up stuff Beth.”

She pretended to be offended and took the cigarette away from him.

“Just for that I’m taking this, and you aren’t allowed to smoke it until after.” She sat back down on their blanket and pulled out a container of chocolate strawberries.

“I’m also not sharing these.” She took an exaggerated bite and blushed when she saw the look he gave her. He scratched his hair as he shook his head, sitting next to her again.

“I guess that last song was kind of catchy.” He gave her a side glance right before looking at the strawberries in her hand. She turned and looked at him, smiling despite herself.

“And if goats are your kind of thing,” he looked at the strawberries again “well who am I to say anything.”

Beth laughed at that. She shoved the container in his direction and hid her face behind her hands, trying to muffle the laughter.  When she looked up she saw Aaron smiling in their direction, who waved at them when they made eye contact.  She nudged Daryl as she waved back. Daryl licked each one of his fingers before lifting his hand to half wave at Aaron as well.

“Still think he should have watered the plants some more” he mumbled as he shoved another strawberry in his mouth.

* * *

 

Beth was once again on her knees, hands in her mouth, leaning forward as the last song came alive in front of her. She’d stop caring that Daryl seemed to be more entertained with her reactions than the actual show.

“I pulled you and I called you here,   
And I caught you and I brought you here   
These hazards of love, never more will trouble us”

She felt Daryl lean forward next to her, snaking his right arm around her hips. With the use of smoke and lights, the theater had created a haunting image of water flowing throughout the stage, while Margaret and William sat on a rock, watching the “water” rise.

 

“Oh Margaret the lapping waves are licking quietly at our ankles   
Another bow another breath this brilliant chill's come for the shackle.”

 

“Are they about to drown?” Beth turned to see him staring at the stage, mesmerized with the actors singing and clinging to each other. Beth swallowed and shook her head. 

 

“With this long last rush of air we speak our vows and sorry whispers

when the waves came crashing down, he closed his eyes and softly kissed her.”

 

“Fuck.” He whispered in awe and Beth shook her head again. It was haunting , watching the lovers on stage, appearing to succumb to the rising tides. The guitars and piano rose to a crescendo as the smoke covered more of the stage, the blue lighting bouncing off the mist. The couple kissed before they were completely surrounded.

 

The lights went out.

 

After a few seconds the audience went crazy, cheering and applauding as the theater lights came slowly back on.  

 

Beth wiped her tears and stood, clapping and cheering along with the crowd. She smiled when Daryl stood next to her, clapping a little slower than her, but clapping nonetheless.

 

“That was amazing” she finally managed as the audience began to clear out. She turned to look at Daryl, watching him shake off the blanket and fold it.

 

“Yeah, that last song was good.” He swatted the blanket some more before putting it under his arm. He reached out to her with his other, taking her hand and leading her through the crowds back to his truck.

 

“Thanks for coming with me. I take it this isn’t your kind of thing, huh?”

  
He shrugged as he threw the blanket in the bed of the truck and opened the door for her.

 

He leaned in and pressed a quick kiss to her lips.

 

“You’re my kind of thing.”

* * *

 

Except for the quiet humming coming from Beth, trying to recreate a little of the magic from earlier, the ride back to her apartment was quiet. Once there, Daryl walked her to her door and followed her inside. He sat on her couch and she sat next to him, leaning her whole body on his.

 

“Tonight was nice.” He whispered into her hair.

 

She closed her eyes and pulled her legs up, leaning further in as his arm circled her shoulders and pressed her closer.

 

They sat quietly like that for a long time, Beth nonchalantly stroking his leg as Daryl’s cheek pressed on her head.

 

She closed her eyes and grounded herself to him, something she found herself doing often. Sensing every square inch of where their bodies touched, counting the slow breaths he was taking. She curled her fingers on his chest and felt the friction of his shirt on their tips. She took a deep breath at the same time he did. She wondered if he had been doing the same.

 

“Daryl?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

She didn’t know what to ask him, just wanted to hear his voice. She pulled away and stared at him, smiling as she put her hand on his cheek. He leaned into it as his eyes remained on hers.

 

She looked over to the side table and saw the small orange blossom tree. He followed her line of sight and reached out, pulled one of the blossoms and handed it to her.

 

She took it and studied it for bit, suddenly being hit with a wave of memories. The first time he gave her an orange at the theater, their first kiss in front of blossoms in the greenhouse, him placing one in her ear shortly after, the many other times he handed her one of these petals during their beginnings.

 

Her heart started racing, and she wasn’t sure why. She looked up to him and saw those blue eyes staring back at her, his look that always made her want to fly.

 

“Orange blossoms.” She whispered. “What’s the meaning behind them?”

 

He looked away from her and studied the tree at their side.

 

“You said before you couldn’t remember. Do you remember now?”

 

He turned back to her and nodded.

 

“Yeah, I remember.”

 

She held her breath as she waited.

 

“Eternal love.” He finally answered.

 

Her smile faded at his confession.

 

She studied his face, eyes focused on her, a look of confidence draped across his features. Beth looked down at the simple white flower in her hand and then back at him.

 

It was too much.

 

She closed her eyes and opened them almost immediately.

 

It was still too much.

 

She slowly stood and brought the flower to her cheek as she placed her other hand on her mouth. She turned her back to him and walked a few feet away, willing her heart to slow down, and her lungs to catch their breath.

 

_He loves me. He’s always loved me._

She stopped and turned back to him and smiled, feeling warmth pool down her stomach as he returned the smile.

 

She turned back and walked towards her bedroom.

 

She knew he would follow her.

 

She was certain.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s happening! And like I said…this is an OLD FASHIONED love story. So of course that meant saving the very best for last. In this case, the last chapter…..
> 
> The musical is my interpretation of the fantastic rock-opera The Hazards of Love by The Decemberists. All lyrics belong to them


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